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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How To Make an Awesome 80's Action Movie


We are huge fans of 80's Action Movies....HUGE fans. Over the years, we've noticed that most 80's Action Movies follow a certain recipe, and contain specific elements that really seem to make them work. By following these simple steps, you too can create your own 80's Action Movie:
Step 1: Explosions
Any 80's Action Movie that's worth its weight in cocaine and lengthy vaginal pubic hair has to have explosions...LOTS of explosions. An 80's movie without explosions is like a sorority girl wearing a sweater: after a few minutes, you realize how stupid they are, because there's nothing there to distract you from it. Explosions are key, and when it comes to 80's Action Movies, it's impossible to use too many.
Step 2: The Hero
You have two options for The Hero: he can either be a white dude with a mustache, awesome 80's hair, and a vest, or a super-buff black dude who's not wearing a shirt. If you choose the black dude, he can't be too outrageously buff, because then he starts to leave the "Hero" territory and venture into the "Bad Guy's Number One Henchman" zone. The Hero will be a little bit rough around the edges, but good-natured and pure, and somehow he'll have learned how to kick major ass. They'll explain that he's an ex-Green Beret or something, and because he's selfless, he'll be happy to put his life on the line to defend the innocent, even if it's for no clear reason at all.
Step 3: The Boobies
80's Action Movies are all about a good set of big ol' boobies. You're going to see those boobies several times, and they're going to be real and natural. They'll also probably be wet, due to a shower or the ocean. At some point, the owner of these boobies will be kidnapped by the bad guy, and one of his henchmen will try to gently touch her boobies, and she'll inflict pain on his crotch, even though, two scenes ago, The Hero was squeezing her boobies like he was using a hand pump to inflate an air mattress on a camping trip.
Step 4: The Badass Car
No hero is just gonna walk around with his hot chick by his side, trying to defend justice on foot. He's gonna need a sweet ride. The rules regarding cars in action movies haven't really changed much since the 80's. Our hero is either going to drive the newest, sweetest, real-life sports car on the market, or he's going to drive some kind of futuristic, fictional car that doesn't really exist. He'll probably only drive the sweet car for a few scenes before he crashes it through something and uses it to trigger a huge, catalytic explosion that gets the final action sequence started.
Step 5: The Bad Guy
Since this is an 80's movie, there's going to be karate involved, even when it clearly doesn't belong. Whether the movie takes place in modern-day Harlem, or Dark-Ages England, somebody is going to get jump-kicked in the neck in slow motion. The main bad guy is going to be a sleazy businessman-type, who's trying to get money by taking advantage of some social system that's going to rip everyone else off while he gets filthy rich. Obviously, like any nefarious 80's businessman, he'll have an army of ninjas defending his fortress hideout.
Step 6: The Title
This is incredibly important: 80's movie titles, much like a Tijuana hooker, have to make you think that, for $10, you're going to have two hours of complete and utter awesomeness. To create the proper 80's Action Movie title, you'll need one word that's the name of the main character, but also the name of an object that's considered super badass, like a razor, or a chainsaw. Then, the second word in the title has to be a synonym for ass-kicking revenge. It's as simple as that.
Step 7: The Tagline
The last crucial element of the Awesome 80's Movie is the tagline. This is of utmost importance, because it needs to tell the audience what the movie is sort of about, and it also needs to be really cool. It should contain at least one pun and one ellipses, and it should end with an exclamation point, to further emphasize the action that this movie contains.
STEEL JUSTICE: Coming 25 Years Ago to a Theater Near You!

Wackiest Beds Around The World

They say that your bedroom says a lot about you as it is the place where all your belongings are kept, where you can shut yourself away from the rest of the world and be your true self…whatever that may be!
We have done some scouting and found you the wackiest beds in the business!
Fancy a bite?
Have you ever wanted to curl up inside a tasty hamburger? Well worry no more because a new burger bed has been deisgned for all you fast food lovers! It even comes with a flexible styles allowing you to change it into a veggie, soya, chicken or just a pain bun bed, whatever takes your fancy!

A load of balls!
This rather odd yet weirdly cool design works on the basis of all the soft balls being connected together by plastic connectors, allowing you to scuplt it into any shape you want.

Still Sleeper
Wouldn’t it be great if the person we lived with was a still sleeper? No endless tossing and turning and fighting for pillows! In fact if you are looking for a way to train that person into sleeping still for the forseeable future, a body mattress bed might be the way forward for you!

His and Hers
The first few years (or days) of marriage can be blissful but after a while things can become a little boring. However, what better way than to spice it up in the bedroom and have your partner living on spikes while you sleep soundly on a bed of roses. Perfect!

When heaven falls from the sky
There is nothing more idyllic then climbing into your own bed at night, yet the thought of climbing to the ceiling may get a little tiring after a while!
However this bed (luckily) falls from the ceiling to give you the perfect vision of a God sent falling from the sky every time you come to bed.
Lets just hope after a few glasses of wine you remember your bed is on the ceiling and you need to get it down before you fall onto it in a drunken heap!

Rocking Yourself To Sleep
It looks good, it is possibly great fun for about a day but I am sure the novelty would wear off after a while if you have had a long day and work and really need a silent, peaceful and STILL sleep! I rest my case!

Set Sail To Your Dreams
The absolute dream bed for little kids! Setting sail every night to dream land and awaking every morning to the Pirates, I mean parents, waking you up in time for school!
However, by the time they start hitting their late teens this bed needs to be quickly disposed of. Not really a good impression for the ladies if your still jumping into a pirate bed and throwing your anchor out every night!

Hands Down, The Best Facebook Vanity URL

by MG Siegler

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As you no doubt heard last night, the whole Facebook vanity URL grab thing was big. Within seven minutes of the service being available last night, 345,000 users grabbed one. Within 15 minutes, over a half million had, Facebook spokesperson Larry Yu told Bloomberg. But who got the best one.

The best one I’ve seen by far, was grabbed by Christine Shipley of San Francisco. Rather than go for facebook.com/christine.shipley or even facebook.com/shipley, she went with facebook.com/default.aspx. Yes, her name could easily be confused as the default landing page for Facebook. (Though, savvy users will know that the site is actually built in PHP, and not ASP, which the .aspx extension suggests).

Not surprisingly, people are already trying to sell their Facebook vanity URLs as well. The service Assetize, which we wrote about yesterday, already has 4 accounts for sale. The accounts listed are: cotman, pokerbook, sexybook and shekhar. The listing amount for each is “best offer” — none have any bids.

But according to the service, one name has already sold, though it has to be bogus. Assetize just started partially blocking out names sold so you can’t see which ones were purchased, but I loaded the page earlier and saw that it was facebook.com/alex. Apparently, it sold for 99,999,999.99 — so unless it went to Alex Rodriguez, I say this buying and selling system is already broken. What else is odd about this is that alex is a 4-letter URL, which is against Facebook’s rules. So unless it was a Facebook employee who got the URL and was selling it, the whole thing seems to be a sham.

Not everyone was happy with the results of the landgrab. Michael was one of the unlucky ones who didn’t get the name he wanted, even though he originally broke the story. Knowledge, it seems, isn’t always power.

[thanks Loic]

Frank Pushing Bill To Legalize Medical Pot

Ryan Grim


Frank

Rep. Barney Frank, the powerful House Democrat from Massachusetts, introduced a bill Thursday to allow states to make their own medical marijuana laws free of federal interference.

The bill would also move marijuana from the FDA's Schedule I to Schedule II. Its current designation indicates that it has no medical value, a high risk of abuse and is extremely harmful. By keeping marijuana in Schedule I, the federal government makes research into its medical benefits nearly impossible.

Moving marijuana to Schedule II would recognize its medical value, make access to it for research purposes easier and would facilitate the creation of a regulatory framework for the FDA to begin a drug approval process for marijuana.

The bill is HR 2835.

Frank's legislation would also explicitly protect patients from federal arrest in state's where medical marijuana is legal. (Rhode Island's governor vetoed on Friday a state bill that would have allowed medical marijuana sales by state-run dispensaries, despite the fact that Rhode Island already permits possession and use of medical pot.)

Charles C. Lynch could have used that protection. On Wednesday, the Moro Bay, Calif. medical marijuana shop owner was sentenced to a year and a day in federal prison despite the fact that medical pot is legal in California and despite President Obama's earlier assurance that he would not interfere with the law. Unfortunately, Lynch was arrested during the Bush administration era.

"Years from now, Mr. Lynch may well be remembered as the last American to go to federal prison for a mistake, the final victim of an already repudiated policy well on its way to the ash heap of history, but whose mean-spirited effects still linger," said Marijuana Policy Project head Rob Kampia.

"This sentence is a cruel and pointless miscarriage of justice," Kampia said.The sentence handed down by federal District Court Judge George H. Wu could have been worse. The Obama Justice Department wanted the mandatory minimum sentence of 5 years. The Justice Department declined to comment on the sentencing.

The lack of clarity from the Obama administration on medical marijuana prompted Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-N.Y.) to introduce language Tuesday attached to a Commerce, Justice and Science Departments Appropriations bill seeking clarification on the policy.

"It's imperative that the federal government respect states' rights and stay out of the way of patients with debilitating diseases such as cancer who are using medical marijuana in accordance with state law to alleviate their pain," said Hinchey.

Nude, Mona Lisa-like painting surfaces

Documents suggest work at least based on similar work by da Vinci

Image: Nude Mona Lisa?
Museo Ideale Leonardo Da Vinci
Leonardo da Vinci may have painted his famous Mona Lisa in a number of styles — including nude. This painting, which features many parallels to the original Mona Lisa, was attributed to Leonardo da Vinci at purchase in 1845. But it may just be based on one of the artist's now-lost works.

By Rossella Lorenzi

Leonardo da Vinci, in a Renaissance version of Mad Magazine, may have painted his famous Mona Lisa in a number of ways, including nude. Now, a painting has surfaced that looks much like the original, sparking debate over just how far the master took his iconic painting.

The newly revealed painting, hidden for almost a century within the wood wall of a private library, shows a portrait of a half-naked woman with clear links to the famous (and clothed) Mona Lisa.

The work, which documents suggest was at least based on never-seen similar work by da Vinci, is now on exhibit at the Museo Ideale in the Tuscan town of Vinci, where da Vinci was born in 1452.

The lady in the portrait does not exactly resemble the original Mona Lisa, but there is little doubt it has parallels with the painting hanging at the Louvre museum in Paris.

"The frontal look, the position of the hands, the spatial conception of the landscape, with columns at the sides, show a clear link with the Mona Lisa's iconographic theme," Alessandro Vezzosi, director of the museum, told Discovery News.

The naked portrait once belonged to Napoleon's uncle, Cardinal Joseph Fesch (1763-1839) and was ensconced within the wood walls of Fesch's private library for nearly a century, before trading more hands within the Napoleon family.

An art lover, the Cardinal owned an impressive collection of artworks, including da Vinci's "St. Jerome" (now in the Vatican gallery), which he discovered in pieces in the Roman shops of a second-hand dealer.

A note dating to 1845 records that the Cardinal bought "the portrait of the Mona Lisa, mistress of Francis I, by Leonardo da Vinci," from the Rospigliosis, a rich aristocratic Roman family.

After changing hands at the death of the Cardinal, the portrait was possibly bought by Napoleon III, and finally landed in the private collection of Count Giuseppe Primoli, a descendant of Luciano Bonaparte, Napoleon's brother.

The documentation from the painting's original purchase is not enough to verify the work is by da Vinci, himself. The nude portrait will now undergo scientific and artistic investigations in an attempt to date the work and determine its author. Even if it is not by da Vinci (and it likely isn't, experts say), it may be based on a lost original by the artist himself.

"I think it is very likely that Leonardo da Vinci conceived a naked Mona Lisa," leading da Vinci scholar Carlo Pedretti, director of the Armand Hammer Center for Leonardo Studies at the University of California at Los Angeles, told Discovery News.

Indeed, several other claims of unclothed Mona Lisa's have been made over the years, pointing to the theory that da Vinci might have had fun with the famous image he had created around 1503-1506.

"There are at least six nude versions which are very close to da Vinci's hand. All are attributed to the da Vinci school. The most likely scenario is that his followers got inspired by a now-lost original," Vezzosi said.

According to Vezzosi, the original naked Mona might have been part of a series of erotic portraits by da Vinci and his pupils, which were never really shown because they were considered inappropriate.

Called "Monna Vanna," the topless versions of the Mona Lisa are indeed often considered the portraits of a court mistress or prostitute.

Nevertheless, these paintings inspired nudes by other artists, including Raphaello's 1518 portrait of his mistress, "The Baker Girl."

"Our quest for naked Mona Lisa's continues. We are now on the tracks of another interesting version in Las Vegas," Vezzosi said.

© 2009 Discovery Channel

Underground Lost World Lurks Beneath Stones of Naples

Chris Warde-Jones for The New York Times

Schoolchildren use candles to tour an ancient Roman cistern, part of a Neapolitan underworld that also includes 1940s bomb shelters and, elsewhere, early Christian catacombs.



THE narrow, winding streets of Naples reverberate with the sounds of impatient car horns, barking dogs and rat-a-tat-tatting scooters. Opulent Baroque churches and elegant palazzi open onto a landscape covered over in graffiti, and patrons in cafes keep a close eye on their bags as they chatter over pizza or the delicate, shell-like local pastries called sfogliatelle. Under towering Vesuvius, the city has a feel of chaos, congestion, frenetic activity.

Multimedia

Naples, ItalyMap

Naples, Italy

Chris Warde-Jones for The New York Times

The cryptoportico under San Lorenzo Maggiore.

Chris Warde-Jones for The New York Times

The entrance to the underground tour operator Napoli Sotterranea.

But make your way beneath the espresso-fueled cacophony, and you discover the deep and ancient silence of a lost world: of catacombs and caves, Roman roads and markets, World War II air-raid shelters, and early Christian burial sites of faded frescoes and mosaics.

Naples is built layer over layer out of the compacted volcanic ash and rock that Italians call tufo. Porous and easily manipulated, it was used by the Greeks, starting around 470 B.C., as they built their Neapolis; the name means “New City” and emerged over time as Napoli — or, in English, Naples. Later the Romans used the tufo quarries for an extensive system of underground aqueducts. Early Christians dug caves to worship and bury their dead. Neapolitans of various centuries used the cavities as dumping grounds. Only the cholera epidemic of the mid-1880s shut down this underground city, but in World War II it was in use again, as shelter from the heavy bombing that decimated the city.

Most of Naples has a honeycombed underground, and slipping into it — and back through time — is as easy as descending a flight of stairs or turning a corner. Guided tours help travelers explore, and in a few places, where the excavations are parts of museums or churches, you can wander on your own.

This layered, partially exposed history lends Naples a haunting, mysterious quality. And there is a figurative underground as well as the literal one: the Camorra criminal network represents one use of the term, but the famed archaeological museum illustrates another sort of concealment. Its Secret Cabinet, long kept under lock and key and still off limits to unescorted children, is a collection of sex-themed ancient objects, many excavated from the ruins of Pompeii and Herculaneum, that were long considered too obscene to be brought into public view.

One group showing the way underground is the Libera Associazione Escursionisti Sottosuolo, whose tour, in Italian with English handouts, leaves a few times a week from the well-known Gambrinus bar in the Piazza Trieste e Trento. But on our visit in March, my husband, Greg Miller, and I chose to explore with Napoli Sotterranea, which runs several 90-minute English-language tours a day from the city’s historic heart.

Our guide, 23-year-old Alex Fusaro, whose other job is as a drummer in an indie band, led our small group down a flight of stairs in an apartment building and into the first-century B.C. Here, he told us, were the remains of a Greco-Roman theater with a capacity of 6,000 where Nero is said to have sung through an earthquake. Some 30 families live above it now. We gazed from a large open space at ancient, intricately constructed arches in what had once been the backstage.

Wandering on, through the interconnected passageways below the bustling Neapolitan streets, we saw aqueducts that had been used for 23 centuries and then descended 121 steps deeper to the air-raid shelters. In 1941, almost 250 miles of tunnels and waterways under Naples were cleared of water and refuse, most wells were sealed, and stairways were built and electricity installed. The Neapolitans who waited in the shelters as bombs pounded overhead left markers of their tense days and weeks there: drawings on walls of bombs and planes, the word “aiuto” (help). We saw toy cars and beds, a sewing machine and a radio that were later found in the shelters. Then we gripped lighted candles and navigated a chilly long, low and narrow passageway where water once flowed, to reach Greek and Roman cisterns. The largest, our guide told us, was built by the Romans in the second century A.D. and used until the 19th century; it is high and boxy, carved from the yellow tufo.

Afterward, it was a welcome contrast to re-enter the 21st century at Scaturchio, on the Piazza San Domenico Maggiore, with an espresso and sfogliatelle. Crowds wandered nearby in the Via San Gregorio Armeno, jampacked with shops that make and sell the traditional Neapolitan nativity scenes, known as presepi.

Also not to be missed in this part of the city are the remarkable Greco-Roman ruins beneath the 18th-century cloister at San Lorenzo Maggiore. We descended a staircase and wandered entirely alone for 90 minutes in a buried world that was once at street level: the remains of a first-century A.D. Roman market, a barrel-vaulted shopping arcade and a road with remnants of ruins, including a domed oven of an ancient bakery and a communal laundry with tubs and drains.

Within walking distance is the Church of Santa Chiara, which is known for its elegant majolica cloister but also has archaeological ruins discovered after World War II, including Roman thermal baths, a sauna area and parts of an aqueduct made of tufo. New wooden walkways lead around the area, and identifying plaques are in four languages, including English.

Another day, we took an English-language tour at the catacombs of San Gennaro, the patron saint of Naples, which began behind the Church of Madre del Buon Consiglio and just past a courtyard overlooking clotheslines, lemon trees and scooters. Down below we walked, first seeing small chapels, which held the bodies of wealthy families; in one “cubico,” a haunting fresco from the sixth-century A.D. memorialized a family with a young child. The bodies of humbler citizens were placed in wall niches that are now empty. We walked through ancient arches amid a silent mustiness, and learned that this catacomb’s earliest use was in the second century A.D. Here, too, is the site of three early churches, the oldest dating to the fourth century; two of them were built underground. We saw a painting of Adam and Eve from the third century A.D. and symbols of Greek goddesses. Near the exit was a fresco of a bishop from the ninth or 10th century, found about a year ago.

Later, in the Sanità district, we toured the Catacombs of San Gaudioso — named for an African bishop who arrived in Naples in 439 — and saw skulls set into wall niches with frescoes below them depicting the dress of their owners’ professions: a judge’s robes, a knight with a sword. In the women’s area, the frescoes showed only long dresses: “The women had no professions, of course,” our guide explained.

Another day, we sought out that other long-hidden element: the erotic collection in the Secret Cabinet at the archaeological museum. This room has been open since 2000, but heavy locks on chains remain on the iron doors, near a notice saying children under 14 must be accompanied by an adult. (We saw no one checking.)

The collection is rich and graphic. To ancient Greeks and Romans, the phallus was a symbol of prosperity, fecundity and good luck, and they depicted it in statues and oil lamps, on vases and paintings, even outside shops. Representations of heterosexual and homosexual activities were part of the decoration of homes and gardens, and the exhibition includes erotic paintings of mythological scenes, marble sculptures of nymphs and satyrs, and erotic images from gardens, boudoirs and brothels.

As we wandered, a dozen Italian schoolchildren, mostly boys, entered with a young, bearded instructor. They looked about 12 and moved fast, wide-eyed and clutching notebooks. One of the few girls looked stunned.

At the exit, the boys erupted in giggles. When several returned about a half-hour later, sans instructor, a middle-aged woman visitor peering at a stone phallus gave them a sharp look, and they fled.

NAPLES FROM THE GROUND UP

Many major airlines fly from Kennedy Airport in New York to Naples Capodichino Airport with one stop, although Eurofly has direct fights a few days a week. Round-trip fares for travel in July started at about $750 in an Internet search last week. The airport is about five miles from the city center, and the Alibus, to Piazza Garibaldi and Piazza Municipio, costs 3 euros, or $4.35 at $1.45 to the euro. Once in Naples, you’ll find a good walking city and extensive public transportation including buses, subways and funiculars.

WHERE TO STAY:

Decumani Hotel de Charme (Via San Giovanni Maggiore Pignatelli, 15; 39-081-551-8188; www.decumani.com), in the heart of the city, was the 18th-century palazzo of the last bishop of the Bourbon kingdom of Naples; doubles begin at 99 euros.

Hotel San Francesco al Monte (Corso Vittorio Emanuele, 328; 39-081-423-9111; www.sanfrancescoalmonte.it), overlooking the Bay of Naples, is a renovated 16th-century convent. Doubles start at 150 euros.

WHERE TO EAT AND DRINK

Neapolitans like to say they invented pizza, but don’t ask for it by the slice. One local favorite, the Margherita — tomato, mozzarella and basil, for the three colors of the Italian flag — was created in honor of the visit of Queen Margherita of Spain in 1889. Sample one at Lombardi (Via Benedetto Croce, 59; 39-081-552-0780). With another local specialty, linguine cozze e vongole, thick with tiny clams, lunch for two was 28 euros.

Ciro a Santa Brigida (Via Santa Brigida, 71-73; 39-081-552-4072) served an excellent pizza alla Ciro (mushrooms, Vesuvian tomatoes, mozzarella, shrimp and garlic) and linguine Fra Diavolo, lush with shrimp, mussels and clams; lunch for two with a glass of wine was 32.50 euros.

For dinner, La Cantina di Triunfo (Via Riviera di Chiaia, 64; 39-081-668-101), a restaurant and wine bar, served soup, pasta, an entree of roasted pork with chestnuts and wine for 80 euros for two.

Taverna dell’Arte on the ramp of the church of San Giovanni Maggiore from Via Mezzocannone, in the historic center (39-081-552-7558), is harder to find but worth the effort. Try anything made with Vesuvian tomatoes. Dinner for two, with wine, was 83 euros.

At Scaturchio (Piazza San Domenico Maggiore, 19; 39-081-551-6944), a sfogliatelle and an espresso were 5 euros.

WHAT TO DO

Underground tours are given in English by Napoli Sotterranea (Piazza San Gaetano, 68; 39-081-296-944; www.napolisotterranea.org; 9.30 euros) and in Italian with English handouts by Libera Associazione Escursionisti Sottosuolo (39-081-400-256; www.lanapolisotterranea.it; 10 euros).

Catacombs tours are at Catacombs of San Gennaro (Via Capodimonte, 13; 39-081-741-1071; 5 euros) and Catacombs of San Gaudioso (Piazza Sanità, 14; (39-081-544-1305; www.santamariadellasanita.it; 5 euros).

Other archaeological sites include San Lorenzo Maggiore (Via dei Tribunali, 316; 39-081-211-0860; www.sanlorenzomaggiorenapoli.it; 5 euros) and Santa Chiara (Via Santa Chiara, 49; www.santachiara.info; 5 euros).

The Secret Cabinet collection of erotic art is in the National Archaeological Museum of Naples (Piazza Museo Nazionale, 19; 39-081-292-823; 10 euros).

Tattoo Body Map: What Your Bad Decision Says About You

Tattoos are reverse time machines: with time travel you can send a warning back to your younger self, with tattoos you send a mistake forward to your older self.

Just The Facts

  1. Tattoos theoretically could be thoughtful additions to your appearance. Unfortunately there are thousands of tattoo parlors (many open 24 hours) and people just don't have that many thoughts. So most are stupid.
  2. Tattoos are permanent. Your motivation/blood-alcohol level is not.
  3. Tattoos are now as edgy as a padded watermelon.

Who gets tattoos?

Tattoos are an excellent way to turn a single drunken decision into a lifetime of disfigurement and regret, which normally requires a car. Tattoos are associated with criminal gangs, the armed forces, and whiny white teenagers desperate for attention. Attempts to get all three to attend a common "Tattoo Conference" have unfortunately failed.

What Your Tattoo Says About You

Before you get a tattoo

There are some important questions to ask before getting a tattoo:

  • Have I wanted this for more than five minutes?
  • Am I, at this particular instant in sidereal time, drunk off my face?
  • Do the tattoo artist's past works resemble an art class for crash-helmet testers?
  • I meet the love of my life. I romance them for months, reaching a point where we can communicate our very deepest emotions and feel that we almost share souls (awwww). At this point, can I see myself naked and explaining this tattoo?

George Lucas Then vs George Lucas Now

Call me a luddite if you have to, but I miss the days in which science fiction movies were actually done with real gadgets, real models, real robots—even with dwarves inside—and real explosions.

On the left, Lucas surrounded by a ton of stuff from the first Star Wars trilogy, which ended with 1983's Return of the Jedi. On the right, Lucas surrounded by the only object that mattered in his second Star Wars trilogy, finishing with 2005's Revenge of the Sith: A green chroma screen.

There's something about real objects that—no matter how hard they have tried so far—3D computer graphics still have failed to capture. Yes, synthetic images have been evolving as fast as computing power, with new techniques that sometimes fool the eye. But while 1983 Star Wars may look bad at times compared to JJ Abrams' Star Trek, the former still feels... more real even while it looks less realistic, perhaps? I don't know how to define it, but it just feels better.

Certainly better than 2005 Star Wars, and not only because of the awful script. [Uberpix—Thanks Genevieve]

The 8 People You’ll Meet In Your Hometown Bar This Summer

Bar-Lead1

Well, school’s over for the year. You former freshman have moved back in with your parents and secured that summer job and, after the first couple of weeks, have discovered a sad truth: while you’re a college student, summers blow.

You’re working forty hour weeks in menial labor. None of your college buddies are around anymore. Your parents don’t seem to appreciate when you show up at your house drunk at 4 a.m. Your mom still does your laundry, but she’s sharing her car with you, so you have to let her know when you’re going anywhere. You never thought you’d ask this, but: is it September yet?

You call up the ever-dwindling number of people you still talk to from high school and see what they want to do, and at some point, somebody suggests going to the bar — you know, that crap-tastic small town dive bar filled with locals. Sure, why not? When you walk in, here’s what you can expect to find:

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Bartender1. Former Homecoming Queen/Current Bartender

Right off the bat, you recognize one of the bartenders: she was one of the most popular girls in your graduating class. She recognizes you, too, and though she calls you by the wrong name, she’s happy to tell you her plans for enrolling in the nearby community college and learning Spanish. Then another song comes on, and she and the other bartender climb on top of the bar and do an awkward, theoretically arousing dance like two Coyote Ugly rejects.

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regular2. The Regular

This is a kid from high school whom you’ve completely forgotten about, and might not have even recognized if your friend hadn’t nudged you and pointed him out. He’s at the end of the bar, talking idly with the owner. You don’t think much of it until later visits to the bar, when you see him in exactly the same spot, doing exactly the same thing, and never, ever moving.

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couple3. The Middle-Aged Couple

Man, are these folks having a good time. Since it’s summer, the bar is filled with more college students than normal, making the two forty-five-year-olds stick out like sore thumbs. But they seem slightly too tipsy to know or care. Instead, they’re rocking out to the Bruce Springsteen song that’s playing, and no, they’re not good dancers. You don’t know whether to be happy for them or throw up in your mouth a little.

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Guy you hate4. The Guy You Used to Hate

You have history with this guy. It’s no secret you both hated each other in high school. Maybe he was even a middle-school bully. Tonight, he’s clearly trashed, and treats you as though you’re his long-lost, presumed-dead brother. He comes out of nowhere to give you a hug, asks you about college, and even buys you a drink. You still secretly hate him, especially because he obviously forgot about this old grudge and you haven’t, but hey: free drink.

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Trashy5. The Popular/Trashy Girl

The clique of popular girls from high school all walk into the bar together: they’re still friends and still live in town. Unfortunately, an extra year of smoking nonstop has not been kind: they’re not nearly as attractive as you remember. Some go up to chat with the bartender to see when she gets off so they can hang out; one of them spots you and says hi. This is a girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day in high school, and now it occurs to you that you have at least a reasonable chance of sleeping with her this summer — and even though she’s uglier now, that would be rather cool.

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guys6. The Friends You Actually Came in With

These are easy to pinpoint: one will downright hate seeing all the people from high school, complain about it the entire night, and never talk to anybody outside your own group. One will barely even notice the people — he’ll be far more interested in consuming the large amount of alcohol he’s gotten used to drinking four nights a week in college. And one will have a bizarre, unexplained amount of knowledge about what everyone’s been doing for the past year. “That’s Meghan Conroy, from two grades ahead of us, remember? Yeah, I hear her dad just got cancer and she’s working at Pottery Barn.”

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Old7. The Old Guy

A staple not just of your hometown bar, but every bar everywhere. Late in the night you’ll go up to grab another drink, and this drunk guy who’s pushing sixty will turn to you and mumble something about “these teasing sluts.” You chuckle politely, say “Yeah,” and wonder why the PBR is taking so long.

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girl8. The College Girl Who Unfortunately is Now Better than You Are

In high school, this girl wasn’t that attractive and was always one of the brainy kids you either ignored or made fun of. Now she’s in the same boat as you — home from college and bored. When you go up to chat, you realize that she’s grown into herself, and as she starts talking about how fun her school is and how many extracurricular activities she’s doing, it hits you: unlike these other schmucks, she’s more successful than you are. What the hell is that all about? You politely excuse yourself from the conversation and go back to talking to people you can safely look down your nose at.

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6,000-year-old tombs found next to Stonehenge

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A prehistoric complex, including two 6,000-year-old tombs, has been discovered by archaeologists in Hampshire.

The Neolithic tombs, which until now had gone unnoticed under farmland despite being just 15 miles from Stonehenge, are some of the oldest monuments to have been found in Britain.

Archaeologists say they will hold valuable clues about how people lived at the time and what their environment was like.

The discovery is also close to Cranborne Chase, one of the most well researched prehistoric areas in Europe.

“It’s one of the most famous prehistoric landscapes, a Mecca for prehistorians, and you would have thought the archaeological world would have gone over it with a fine tooth comb,” Dr Helen Wickstead, the Kingston University archaeologist leading the project, said.

From examining similar sites, archaeologists know that complex burial rituals were common at the time. Typically bodies would be left in the open air until the flesh had decayed, leaving only a skeleton. Then bones were put in special arrangements in the tombs.

“The tombs were like bone homes for important people in the community,” Dr Wickstead said.

The tombs were discovered by Damian Grady, an English Heritage photographer, who flew over the area in a light aircraft taking aerial photographs of the land, looking for marks or features on the landscape suggestive of ancient monuments. One photograph showed two long mounds.

After discussions with colleagues, Mr Grady was left in little doubt that the mounds were the site of ancient tombs. He contacted Dr Wickstead inviting her to investigate.

After carrying out a survey of the land using electromagnetic detectors and ultrasound, Dr Wickstead created a map of what lay beneath the fields. She was able to identify the two tombs with troughs on each side, known as long barrows, typical of Neolithic burial sites.

Her team was also found artefacts, including fragments of pottery, flint and stone tools, close to the surface.

So far Dr Wickstead’s team have only used non-invasive techniques to figure out what lies inside the tombs, which are located on the land of a local female farmer.

Because the original surface of the land has been preserved beneath the mound, scientists will be able to examine it for traces of pollen and identify which plants and trees were common at the time.

Whether they are excavated will depend on local feeling, she says.

“We’re treading very carefully on the excavation issue,” Dr Wickstead said.

“We want to be sure that it’s what people living in Damerham village want. It’s their heritage.”

The Kingston University team are due to publish preliminary findings of their research in the journal Hampshire Studies.

JJ ABRAMS PRODUCING MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IV

J.J. Abrams wrote and directed Mission Impossible III, which was supposed to be a big deal at the time, but it only grossed a disappointing $134 mil domestically on a $150 mil budget (though it eventually made almost $400 mil worldwide). I always assumed that was because by the third film (after a second one directed by John Woo featuring a motorcycle joust fight - God that movie sucked), no one cared about the Mission Impossible franchise anymore. Nonetheless, word on the street is that Abrams is back as producer for a fourth movie. From TV Guide (via SpoilerTV):

“I am incredibly honored that Tom (Cruise) has invited me back as a producer on Mission Impossible 4. says Abrams. “Tom and I have come up with a really cool idea we are pursuing.”

That idea? Tom Cruise must travel back in time to find the source of all the lens flares. (Tom’s thinking alien spirits).

Medical marijuana in WA: Pushing the legal limits | Part 1 of series

By ANDY HOBBS
Federal Way Mirror Editor


En route to a patient's house, "Bob" whips out a sack of candy that smells like pot.

The plastic bag contains chocolates wrapped in fluorescent foil, along with a tiny clear cup of caramel — all infused with the active ingredients of marijuana.

As a medical marijuana patient, Bob treats pain caused by a past head injury and hepatitis C, among other ailments. He also suffers from grand mal seizures. "I'm in a lot of pain," he said.

The caramel, with a shiny purple star on the lid, provides multiple doses of medicine. So does an oatmeal cookie about the size of a hand — "that's 10 good doses for me right there," said Bob, who asked that a pseudonym be used for this report.

The Federal Way resident embraced medical marijuana about six years ago and entered another side of the cannabis culture. Patients refer to themselves as patients. Slang terms and stoner jokes are noticeably absent. Medication is a personal matter for patients, but also a mission. Most patients join an informal collective community of sorts, where sick people seek relief from one another through marijuana.

Doctors can't prescribe medical marijuana, but they can recommend it. Patients need a qualifying condition, which includes AIDS, hepatitis C, Crohn's disease, cancer or fibromyalgia, among others. With a recommendation, patients gain access to a cooperative network of inconspicuous clinics that supply marijuana. Patients must provide medical records before learning a clinic's location. Patients can choose caregivers who are also allowed to retrieve medicine.

"If someone invented marijuana, they'd get a Nobel Prize because it's a miracle drug, although most people don't understand that," Bob said. "I have seen that stuff help wounds...there's some creams I put on sores, and my sores healed up so fast it was unbelievable."

In 1998, Washington state voters approved a law that removed criminal penalties and established a defense for qualified patients who possess or cultivate cannabis for medicinal use.

In 2008, the "60-day" supply for patients was defined as 24 ounces and 15 plants; both numbers have attracted intense debate from medical marijuana advocates. The law allows patients to exceed these limits if the patient can prove medical need, according to the Washington State Department of Health.

Technically, the cannabis clinics are illegal. Federal law classifies marijuana as a Schedule 1 drug, in the same league as heroin. Washington's medical marijuana laws help patients with a legal defense in local or state courts. Federal laws ultimately trump state laws, however, and do not recognize the medical use of marijuana. Anyone found in violation could still be prosecuted under federal laws.

Tight-lipped patients

Despite legal protections, most patients keep a low profile under fear of being arrested by law enforcement or robbed by thieves.

Over the years, Bob has been involved with medical marijuana clinics in the area. One clinic is housed in a non-descript office complex, tucked inside an eclectic Seattle neighborhood.

A friend of his runs the clinic, which is registered to a medical marijuana advocacy group. The friend handles the finances, but the lease is in Bob's name. Inside the tiny room, there's a desk and several couches. Hand-written posters alert patients to the clinic's hours and rules. A slate-colored safe that's out of sight contains several boxes of baggies, each filled with about an ounce of marijuana buds. The fragrant baggies bear a tag with the clinic's name and logo. Patients are not allowed to medicate on the premises.

In West Seattle, one of Bob's fellow patients and clinic supporters was the target of a home-invasion robbery in mid-May. The patient lost plants and cash to the thieves, but still had a few young plants growing under lights in the basement. The sweet smell of marijuana permeates this non-descript middle-class home. Two water pipes — also known as bongs — sit in the front room, along with a tray of crumbled cannabis, a mini-baggie of Chicklets-style green gum, and a couple of prescription bottles containing marijuana. The patient suffers from hepatitis C and arthritis, and grows six months of medicine at a time for personal use while supplying other patients. The patient claims to not profit from the marijuana, instead relying on Social Security to pay the bills.

After the home-invasion robbery, Seattle police treated the patient with dignity and respect — and did not confiscate any medicine, the patient said.

Law enforcement

The biggest roadblock for medical marijuana, legally speaking, is the federal government's classification of cannabis as a Schedule 1 substance.

"A national policy would be helpful," said Don Pierce, executive director, Washington Association of Sheriffs and Police Chiefs. Pierce said a major problem in Washington state is the conflict with federal law when it comes to enforcement. Different rules apply to drug task force cases that involve federal agents.

In 2008, the Washington State Department of Health issued guidelines on the definition of a 60-day supply. These guidelines have made enforcement easier, Pierce said. However, some residents hide behind a medical marijuana defense in cases that appear to involve manufacturing for sale or other "nefarious purposes," Pierce said.

Pierce started his law enforcement career in 1970, eventually serving as police chief in Normandy Park, Tukwila, Bellingham and Boise, Idaho. He worked in Washington state when the medical marijuana initiative passed in 1998, along with an amendment to the law in 2007.

"We in law enforcement thought (the medical marijuana law) was going to be a way bigger problem than it turned out to be," Pierce said, adding that the main problem was implementation of the law.

"We don't spend very much time in our meetings talking about medical marijuana," Pierce said.

In fact, Seattle and King County are considered the state's havens for medical marijuana rights. King County Prosecuting Attorney Dan Satterberg is viewed by some local patients as a prominent public official on their side.

As the state's largest urban area, King County has more experience with medical marijuana compared to other counties. That experience has an influence on the internal standards and procedures of law enforcement, Satterberg said.

"It's our job to enforce the law," he said, noting that the current medical marijuana laws are not well written. The idea is to approach the spirit of the law and allow people who are truly sick to find relief, Satterberg said. He referenced a May 26 incident in Seattle, in which a medical marijuana patient was robbed by fake drug enforcement agents, then had several cannabis plants confiscated by police. Satterberg called this particular incident a success because no one got hurt, and the patient was able to keep 15 plants as allowed by law, he said.

"I don't want to prosecute any sick people," Satterberg said.

Others call the May 26 incident a violation. Mark Spohn, the Seattle patient who was robbed, said in news reports that he was cultivating more than the 15-plant limit in order to help supply fellow patients.

King County may serve as a model for Washington state in terms of medical marijuana tolerance, but still has a long way to go, said Seattle-based attorney Douglas Hiatt. Specifically, Hiatt called the guidelines for a 60-day supply "a step backward." Patients often struggle to fill the gap between one harvest and the time it takes a new batch of plants to reach maturity, he said.

"What the Department of Health has done is unconscionable," said Hiatt, who represents patients across the state, usually at no cost. "You couldn't get a 60-day supply out of 15 plants unless you're a master gardener."

Check out part 2

Click here to read the next installment of this series, which will examine the efforts of medical marijuana supporters in Washington state, including Douglas Hiatt, a Seattle-based attorney who donates his services to defend patients; Steve Sarich, an outspoken advocate who runs a support network in King County; Ken Martin, who suffers from a brain tumor; and two Federal Way area patients who grow their medicine.

Federal Way Mirror Editor Andy Hobbs can be reached at editor@fedwaymirror.com or 253-925-5565.

First Trailer for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island

Must Watch: First Trailer for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island

June 10, 2009
Source: Apple
by Alex Billington

Shutter Island Trailer

Paramount has debuted the first official trailer for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Emily Mortimer, Michelle Williams, Max von Sydow, and Jackie Earle Haley. It looks like Scorsese has finally decided to take on Hitchcock head-on, and DiCaprio may finally get that Oscar he's been waiting for. Shutter Island is the first movie we've seen anything from that is a big Oscar contender this year. And wow does it look incredible. The performances all seem exceptional, DiCaprio and Kingsley especially, and I can't wait to see this story unfold under Scorsese's direction.

Does this trailer live up to all of your expectations? Let us know what you think of Scorsese's latest below!

Watch the first trailer for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island:

You can also watch the trailer for Shutter Island in High Definition on Apple

The story of two U.S. marshals, Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo), who are summoned to a remote and barren island off the cost of Massachusetts to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a murderess from the island's fortress-like hospital for the criminally insane.

Shutter Island is directed by prolific filmmaker Martin Scorsese, of everything from Taxi Driver to Raging Bull to Goodfellas to Cape Fear to Gangs of New York to The Aviator to The Departed. The screenplay was written by Laeta Kalogridis, of Night Watch, Alexander, and Pathfinder previously. This is based on Dennis Lehane's novel of the same name. Paramount is bringing Shutter Island to theaters on October 2nd.