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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Depeche Mode, Beastie Boys, Jane's Addiction to headline 2009 Lollapalooza

Depeche Mode, the Beastie Boys and a reunited Jane’s Addiction are expected to headline the fifth annual Lollapalooza Aug. 7-9 in Grant Park.

Though promoters would not confirm the information Friday, multiple sources inside the industry said the three headliners are a lock for the festival. Three more arena-level headliners are expected to be included when the complete lineup is announced next month.

Depeche Mode is releasing its 12th album, “Sounds of the Universe,” on April 21. Though it has been a staple of alternative music since the early ‘80s, the British synth-pop band has not previously played Lollapalooza, which ran as a touring festival from 1991 through ’97 in its first incarnation.

The Beastie Boys are also working on a studio album, tentatively titled “Tadlock’s Glasses,” for release this year. The New York hip-hop trio last played Lollapalooza in 1994. Their previous studio album, “The Mix-Up,” was an all-instrumental collection released in 2007.

The original Jane’s lineup of Perry Farrell, Dave Navarro, Stephen Perkins and Eric Avery headlined the first Lollapalooza tour in 1991, only to break up soon after. There have been sporadic reunions since, but none included all four original members until some one-off gigs last year. A national tour was announced a few days ago, but a Chicago date was conspicuously absent.

greg@gregkot.com

Buy Lollapalooza tickets

The Grand Canyon: Sunrise & Sunset

Seeing a familiar place in a new light can be tricky. But in this series of photos by Los Angeles Times photographer Mark Boster showing the Grand Canyon at sunrise and sunset, the rays that paint the iconic canyon at dawn and dusk give a new perspective.


Sunrise: 6:32 a.m.

Sunset: 4:02 p.m.


Sunrise: 8:29 a.m.


Sunset: 3:58 p.m.


Sunrise: 8:00 a.m.


Sunset: 4:03 p.m.


Sunrise: 7:53 a.m.


Sunset: 4:17 p.m.


Sunrise: 6:52 a.m.


Sunset: 4:23 p.m.


Moonrise: 4:31 p.m.


Sunset: 4:12 p.m.

Fart molecule could be next Viagra

THE stink of flatulence and rotten eggs could provide a surprising lift for men. Hydrogen sulphide (H2S) causes erections in rats and may one day provide an alternative to Viagra for men.

The penis is packed with spongy tissue that produces an erection when it fills with blood. Nitric oxide (NO) helps relax the walls of arteries that supply the penis, allowing extra blood to flow in. Viagra works by blocking an enzyme that destroys NO.

H2S has recently been shown to relax the walls of major blood vessels too. Now Giuseppe Cirino at the University of Naples Federico II in Italy and his colleagues have found enzymes that produce H2S in human penile tissue. Injecting this tissue with H2S dilated the blood vessels, while injecting it into the penises of live rats produced erections (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, DOI: 10.1073/pnas.0807974105).

Batcave or World's Coolest Wine Cellar? You Decide [PICS]

spiral-staircase-wine-cellar-design

Ever want a wine cellar but don’t have the space or money to build one? The Spiral Cellars design/build firm will dig a hole right in whatever room you want your cellar in and haul the dirt right out the front door. In the remaining void they infill a highly functionally and visually dazzling spiral-staircase wine cellar to fit all your favorite vintages and go with your favorite funky furniture designs.

amazing-cellar-design

Everything is designed with function in mind but the resulting form is equally compelling - the rows of wine face you as you wind your way down the central stair. Of course, you can store more than wine down in these as well - they are a great and continuously cooled pantry extension for all kinds of beverages.

spiral-wine-cellar-diagram-drawing

The cellars and kept at ideal temperatures, insulated on the sides and top. Cool air is piped in and warm air is piped out. Even when no air flow is needed for temperature purposes it is kept moving to keep the air fresh. Customers have had these installed in all kinds of ways, from flush- and hidden-door versions to entrances that intentionally boast their presence:

beautiful-dining-room-trap-door

Some of these are clearly made to stand out.

elegant-trap-door-cellars

Others blend more smoothly or seamlessly.

home-interior-trap-door-designs

Edible Excretions: Taiwan's Toilet Restaurant

toilet restaurant taiwan

"There's poop everywhere! Y-u-c-k," says 6-year-old Jordan Lien as he and his family dine at the Modern Toilet, a popular Taiwanese restaurant chain that's expanding into China and other parts of Asia. The boy was looking at the poop-shaped lights and dish covers and the curry on toilet-shaped plates.

Diarrhea for dinner? That's the point. "It's supposed to shock and confuse the senses," says Modern Toilet manager Chen Min-kuang. But as Jennifer Finch, an American who was dining there, described it, "They do it tastefully. It's all very clean." (See the top 10 food trends of 2008.)

Every customer sits on a stylish acrylic toilet (lid down) designed with images of roses, seashells or Renaissance paintings. Everyone dines at a glass table with a sink underneath. The servers bring your meal atop a mini toilet bowl (quite convenient, as it brings the food closer to your mouth), you sip drinks from your own plastic urinal (a souvenir), and soft-swirl ice cream arrives for dessert atop a dish shaped like a squat toilet. (See nine kid foods to avoid.)

I went there on a Wednesday evening, and the place was packed with students and families who were having a jolly time eating out of the john. "It's very progressive and irreverent, like a practical joke," says junior high school teacher Chen Kin-hsiang, who went because her students raved about it. "It's a little gross when you see other people eat," she says, "but when you're eating, you don't notice it, 'cause you're hungry and the aroma is appetizing." Smell is one poop-like quality the chef does without. (See pictures of China on the wild side.)

The reasonably priced food includes curries, pasta, fried chicken and Mongolian hot pot, as well as elaborate shaved-ice desserts with names like "diarrhea with dried droppings" (chocolate), "bloody poop" (strawberry) and "green dysentery" (kiwi). Despite the disturbing descriptions, the desserts were great. But after seeing curry drip down a mini-toilet, I may never have that sauce again. (See pictures of what makes you eat more food.)

The Chinese can take this, Finch muses, because they are more nonchalant about bodily functions, such as burping, farting or even going to the bathroom — an act performed squatting sans doors in some places in China. But many Westerners enjoy the novelty of toilet dining too. Chris and Julia Harris took their visiting mother, who they say is obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness, to "freak her out," but she had a great time (though she refused to drink out of a urinal). The only people who have a hard time, says Chen, are the elderly who have exclaimed, "I will not eat on the toilet!" (Folding chairs and normal dishware are available for the faint of heart.) (Read "The Science of Appetite.)

Toilet creations aren't new to China. The ancient Chinese may have been the first to use the throne — a flush toilet was found in a tomb of a Western Han Dynasty (206 B.C. to A.D. 24) king — and they invented toilet paper in the 6th century. Modern Toilet owner Wang Zi-wei, 29, an ex-banker, got his idea from the Japanese robot cartoon character Jichiwawa, who loves to play with poop and swirl it on a stick. Inspired by that image, Wang began selling chocolate ice cream swirls on paper squat toilets. Customers loved them and wanted more edible excretion experiences, so he opened Modern Toilet in 2004. The theme-restaurant chain now has seven outlets in Taiwan, one in Hong Kong and one opening in Shenzhen, China, this week. Plans for other cities in China, Macau, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia are also under way. Dinner à la latrine, anyone?

See pictures of bug cuisine.

See 10 things to do in Beijing.

Video: Introducing the Celtics' new dancing phenom

Shuffle aside, Gino.

Take a seat, (possibly) choreographed Bon Jovi dude.

The Boston Celtics have a new Garden JumboTron legend, and he's only seven-years-old.

Internet, meet dancin' in the aisles superstar Daylon Trotman; Daylon, The Internet.

If that little guy doesn't bring a smile to your face, I am positive you have no soul. Kid's got faster moves than Rajon Rondo!

(Via MyFOX Boston, CelticsBlog.com)

Eee PC-in-a-Keyboard Coming Soon

By Charlie Sorrel Email

Asuseeekeyboardpc

If you can fit a whole computer, keyboard and screen into a tiny, fold-up 7" box, why not squeeze one into a keyboard? And while you're there, what about adding a little touchscreen in the space normally inhabited by the number pad?

What's that? Asus did it already? By jove, it did! Look at that! The Eee PC Keyboard is a netbook stuffed inside a keyboard: 1.6GHz Atom processor, 1GB RAM and either an 8GB or a 16GB solid state drive for storage. The touch screen is a five-incher and can be used for navigation and display. Should you feel the need for something a little larger, you can hook the Eee up to a monitor via VGA and HDMI or, in the case of the more expensive model, the display can be connected wirelessly.

The Eees will be available in May, for $400 and $600. One more thing: Is it just us, or does everything come with an Eee brand on it these days? It's certainly helping out the alphabet's second vowel, although as the English language's most popular letter, it doesn't really need it.

Asus keyboard PC due May. Or maybe June [The Reg]

Celebrity Jeopardy Is Back!

HaHa Suck It Trebek!

read more | digg story

Guns N' Roses To Tour With Van Halen?

Axl Rose intends to take the current lineup of Guns N’ Roses out on a worldwide stadium tour this summer, industry insiders told RollingStone.com.

Axl has been basically quiet, keeping out of the limelight for almost 15 years,” said Guns manager Irving Azoff in the news item. “People think they know him, but they really only know what has been said about him by questionable people. He is a good guy and often misunderstood—he is a professional who has worked very hard to build and maintain a high creative standard for Guns N’ Roses, which I support. We have some exciting things in the works this year for GNR, I’m looking forward to it.”

Right on the heels of this news come unconfirmed reports about a co-headlining tour with GNR and fellow L.A. hard-rock icons Van Halen. If this pairing comes to pass, we’re betting it’ll move some serious ducats.

Source: HITS Daily Double
Thanks: C.T.

These pictures are entirely made of food!!!

I found these fascinating and I had a lot of fun trying to figure out all the different kinds of food that the artist used.









Check out the cloud in the picture below. Can you see the face looking at you?











Patently Silly - The Humor of Invention

Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following are all real patents issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office.

Voice Communication Concerning a Local Entity

patent#: US 7113911

This has to be one of the strangest patent illustrations I've ever seen. Is this the future of telephone help lines? "I am a plant. How can I help you?"

The patent explains:

The voice services thus acts as a voice dialog proxy for the plant and gives the impression to the person... that they are conversing with the plant.
And what a stimulating conversation that will be! "How are the seedlings doing? Your leaves are looking lovely—photosynthesis sure has been kind!"

If you've ever wanted "voice interaction with a local dumb device" might I suggest going to your local pub?

filed under For the Garden, Computers
more | comments (1)
posted on 10/16/2008, patent issued on 9/26/2006

Voice Communication Concerning a Local Entity
Office Gym Exercise Kit

Office Gym Exercise Kit

patent#: US 7137935

The cubicle has become more than just a semi-private workspace. In today's workaholic culture it also doubles as a dining room, art gallery and YouTube mini-theater. So why not use it as a gym?

This kit provides a full range of arm, leg and back exercises. All you need is a chair, a desire to get fit and a willingness to look stupid.

filed under Exercise, Cubicles
more | comments (2)
posted on 10/6/2008, patent issued on 11/21/2006

Cross USB Drive

patent#: US D533179

Because Jesus saves.

filed under Computers, Made Fun
more | comments (0)
posted on 3/31/2008, patent issued on 12/5/2006

Cross USB Drive
Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow

Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow

patent#: US 7118242

Jesus said in the book of John, "I am the light of the world." Now have him light up your living room!

But of course, a light up Jesus would seem too simple to be patentable. But what if we add a little animatronics? According to the patent, "Jesus' head rises with light actuation." That's right, wake him up right at his most painful moment.

But the spiritual uplift doesn't end there. The inventor threw in some dripping blood pumps for that I-can't-believe-how-much-this-guy-suffered-for-me effect.

Mel Gibson, why hast thou not pursued the merchandising tie-in?

filed under Made Fun
more | comments (10)
posted on 6/5/2007, patent issued on 10/10/2006

Method of Using a Water Pipe

patent#: US 7122000

I had heard of snorting coke off of a strippers tits, but taking a bong hit out of her vagina?

This "water pipe providing sexual stimulation" seems to be just too depraved to be true. In instances such as this, I find it best to let the patent do the talking:

"The lower end cooperates with the wall of the vagina to form a water reservoir holding water in the lower end and the vagina. A stem is received into the inlet port with an end opening submerged in the water reservoir. Suction applied at the exit port draws air through the stem to bubble through the water reservoir to generate stimulatory vibrations transmitted to the vagina. Optionally, a bowl holding combustible material communicates with the stem such that smoke bubbles through the water reservoir to simultaneously filter and cool the smoke and generate stimulatory vibrations."

I don't doubt that the experience is pleasurable, but pleasurable enough for a woman to allow bong water in her vagina? Perhaps the only thing not surprising about this patent is that it was invented in Vegas. Hopefully, it will stay there.

filed under Drugs, Dildos and Vibrators
more | comments (11)
posted on 2/12/2007, patent issued on 10/17/2006

Method of Using a Water Pipe
Sanitary Security Sock System

Sanitary Security Sock System

patent#: US 7012525

We all know the drill: Take off you shoes, put them on the conveyer belt to be X-Rayed and walk through the metal detector. All because of that one stupid m*th#rf!ck%r!

Deep breath. Okay. So what's wrong with this system? The inventor points out:

"With the increase in airport security measures, many recent inventions have focused on improving the accuracy and efficiency of current airport security systems. However, none of these inventions have focused on the health concerns that have surfaced as a result of the implementation of the new security standards."

That's right people, Al Qaeda may not have hijacked any planes since 9/11, but there's a new terrorist threatening our airports—foot fungus. Have seen those advertisments where the little fungus rips up a toenail and walks inside? It sounds messed up, but on a visceral level, I find that image almost as disturbing as the footage of the twin towers.

Diane Ghioto's "one size fits all" sock system picks up where the department of Homeland Security left off—protecting the nation from the ground up.

filed under Homeland Security, Shoes
more | comments (6)
posted on 2/5/2007, patent issued on 3/14/2006

Weed Cutting Golf Club

patent#: US 6988954

This sly club comes in handy when you've landed in the rough. No need to bogey the hole just because your surrounded by two foot high grass—hack your way to a clear shot!

But inventors John Buell and Troy Nowell see their gas-powered weed whacking wood as more than the latest must-have golf accessory: It's humble small contribution towards world peace. It is "a weed cutting golf club for relief of stress" that can "lighten the mood and decrease stress levels in order to provide a more relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere." Rev up and chill out.

filed under Golf
more | comments (2)
posted on 1/29/2007, patent issued on 1/24/2006

Weed Cutting Golf Club
Retractable Table Top for a Toilet

Retractable Table Top for a Toilet

patent#: US 6983493

Some of the best ideas come when you're sitting on the john. It's as if opening one end to eliminate the physical, we make more room on the other side for the metaphysical. One might conclude then that the more time you sit on the toilet, the more inspiration you will receive.

Rafik Shaumyan has at last conquered the "shortcomings" of standard facilities with his table top: "A device for providing a working surface while a user is seated on a toilet."

Shaumyan has thoroughly analyzed society's plebian use of the crapper and restored its royal dignity. As he puts it:

"The toilet seat can more rightly be called "the throne" if certain conditions are met above and beyond the simple support and flush provisions. A supply of toilet paper needs to be furnished and at a convenient location or locations, not a marginally accessible location. A supply of reading material from which a selection can be made is usually welcome, and for some an ashtray, cigarettes and matches are needed. Some may prefer to prepare notes such as shopping lists, and these will need pencil and notepaper and backing for the note paper. "

All the convenience fit for a king.

filed under Toilet
more | comments (1)
posted on 1/23/2007, patent issued on 1/10/2006

Pet Operated Ball Thrower

patent#: US 7114465

Perhaps the loneliest invention I've seen since the Solo-Operable Seesaw.

filed under Pets
more | comments (6)
posted on 1/16/2007, patent issued on 10/3/2006

Pet Operated Ball Thrower
Penile Volumetric Measuring Device

Penile Volumetric Measuring Device

patent#: US 7147609

Penis size: For too long (puns are inevitable when discussing the subject), it has escaped the rigorous analysis of modern science and has been left prone to self-serving exaggeration. Thankfully, one fearless inventor has arrived to clear the field of biased pseudoscience:

"Throughout history, there has been discussion and focus on the human male sex organ. Generally, having a large penis is seen as more masculine and manly than having a small penis. Well-endowed male pornography stars are looked at by many with admiration and envy due to the size of their penis."

"there is a remarkable lack of convenient and accurate methods for measuring the penis. Most men merely take a ruler and measure the size of their penis in inches. However, to adequately describe the size of a penis the length alone is not enough. Nor is it enough to know the diameter at an arbitrary point. The penis is not shaped like a true cylinder, but rather it has a more complicated shape. Therefore, a method for measuring the size of a penis needs to account for the unusual shape and size of the human penis."

In the short 22 centuries since Archimedes first shouted Eureka from his bathtub, inventor Jason Turner has applied the same techniques of fluid displacement to accurately measure the one-eyed trouser snake.

Of course, scientific breakthroughs can often be met with fierce resistance: Knowledge is power, but the truth, if small enough, can hurt.

filed under Impotence
more | comments (15)
posted on 12/15/2006, patent issued on 12/12/2006

Cucumber Sandwich

patent#: US D527165

Readers keep asking, "Daniel, when are going to comment on the recent McDonald's sandwich patent application?" (1, 2) Well, I hate to say it folks, maybe never. I only tip my hat to true innovations—those deemed patentable by the supreme beings at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (the McDonald's applications haven't been approved yet). They know who's been naughty, who's been nice and who deserves a fourteen year limited monopoly.

Like this beauty, the Cucumber Sandwich!

Unlike McDonald's who needed a committee of three to come up with their painfully-smothered-in-a-special-sauce-of-legalese "Method and Apparatus for Making a Sandwich," the Cucumber Sandwich needed just one man, a knife, and a cucumber.

I prefer to celebrate the little guy. McDonald's knows that even bad press is good press. All the attention they've received for their "meat and/or cheese filling" in a "bread cavity" has given them yet another reason to roll around in their pit of plastic balls filled with money at the McExecutive PlayPlace.

I prefer to feature Alexander Stenzel of Pacific Palisades, CA, whose only English-language Google result appears to be in relation to this elegantly crafted raw food masterpiece. I salute Alexander and his unprecented use of a cucumber: It's simple, it's elegant, and it's fashion model-friendly. Mr. Stenzel, you deserve a break today.

filed under Eats
more | comments (7)
posted on 12/7/2006, patent issued on 8/29/2006

Cucumber Sandwich
No-Crap Craps: Crapless Craps Done Right

No-Crap Craps: Crapless Craps Done Right

patent#: US 7134660

Wheel out the guillotine, 'cause this game's getting decrapitated. Merdé she wrote!

Finally, someone's done it right! Let me tell you, crapless craps done wrong, is, well, just plain crappy. I'm not much of a gambling man, but something tells me if you take the crap out of craps, you don't have much left (thanks, high-fiber diet).

Besides having the crappiest name for a patent I've ever seen, I've come to learn that this is the latest in a series of attempts to cut the crap from the popular dice game. "Craps" refers to a losing result (a 2, 3, or 12) on your very first roll of the dice, known as the "come out". As we all know, there's nothing worse than for craps to come out when you're trying to impress your date at the high roller's table.

There have been several attempts to remove this downer moment from the game, all with trademarked names; Crapless Craps, Never Ever Craps, and now, No-Crap Craps. How many ways can you scrap the crap? Now excuse me while I go wash my hands.

filed under Gambling
more | comments (1)
posted on 11/28/2006, patent issued on 11/14/2006

Delivery of Caffeine Through an Inhalation Route

patent#: US 7078016

There's nothing quite like the smell of coffee in the morning, but let's face it – we don't drink it for the flavor, we drink it for the caffeine. So why wait for coffee to brew when we can just snort the caffeine directly into our addicted little nostrils? I want to be caffeinated, and I want to be caffeinated NOW!

If you've ever worked in an office building, you've probably noticed how corporations are more that happy to provide their employees with free coffee, tea, cola beverages, etc. – anything with a healthy dose of stimulating jitter juice. This invention puts caffeine into an aerosol. So, productivity manager, why waste valuable office space on a kitchen, when you can just pipe the stuff directly into the climate control system?

filed under Drugs
more | comments (10)
posted on 9/27/2006, patent issued on 7/18/2006

Method and Apparatus of Karaoke Storage on a Wireless Communications Device

Method and Apparatus of Karaoke Storage on a Wireless Communications Device

patent#: US 7079026

Dispatch from the Near Future:
Perhaps it was inevitable. No one could blame us for not seeing it coming, or rather, not hearing it. Nothing like this had ever happened before. One moment we were smiling and singing, the next we were holding our ears to keep in the blood. Sure we all loved the sound of our own voices, but everyone else's... and at the same time? It was too much.

And to think of how scared we were of global warming. No one but cranky old buggers took noise pollution seriously.

And outside the sun still shines and the ice caps are still solid and blue. But those of us who can still hear hide deep down – beneath the bedrock – the one place where the phones don't get reception. The one place where the karaoke does not melt the brain like microwaves through a bowl of instant oatmeal. And here we will remain until the batteries run out or there is no one left to dial.

filed under Cell Phones, Entertainment
more | comments (6)
posted on 9/18/2006, patent issued on 7/18/2006

Device for the Treatment of Hiccups

patent#: US 7062320

Is there any cure for hiccups that is not patently silly? Some people breathe into paper bags, others like a good scare, and the more acrobatically inclined like to drink a glass of while standing on their heads. But the cures get even more extreme as the condition lingers. According to the inventor:

"Hiccups lasting up to 48 hours are classified as 'bouts'. Hiccups lasting longer than 48 hours are called 'persistent.' Those lasting longer than a month are called 'intractable.' "

Hiccups lasting longer than a month! I would call that a living nightmare! At this point sufferers may resort to more extreme measures such as "inducing vomiting, or applying traction on the tongue or pressure on the eyeballs." As always, if all else fails, try poking yourself about the face and see what happens.

Faced with the above options, you can see the incentive to invent something new. This device (which peculiarly looks like a hands-free version of one of those "cup and string" phones) is a metallic cup with one electrode making contact with your cheek and another electrode making contact with the temple. When the cup is full of water and you begin to drink, an electrical circuit is created, thus stimulating the vagus and phrenic nerves and "reliably interrupting the Hiccup Reflexive Arc."

Ions to the rescue!

Check out the official website at Hic-Cups.com
(Thanks, KB)!

filed under Medicine
more | comments (8)
posted on 8/24/2006, patent issued on 6/13/2006

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