In Daily List, by stephaniem
Ever feel the distinct need to spend a crapload of money on some sugar and cream? Of course not, but let’s look at how the other half live, shall we?
I have compiled a list of wicked ridiculously expensive desserts that probably taste so-so, but intrigue all of us brownie out of the box eaters. Get your American Express ready, kids — it’s sugar and gold shopping time!
10. Diamond Fruitcake
We all know the holidays are coming up and if you want to ensure nobody will re-gift or trash your fruitcake, invest in this 1.65 million-diamond piece of awesome. This cake is encrusted with 223 diamonds and you can still eat it. Win, win, friends and who cares if it tastes bad…THERE ARE 223 DIAMONDS ON IT. And we all know it’s all about gifts at Christmas.
9. Strawberries Arnaud
This is no normal plate of strawberries, ladies. The berries are marinated in a wicked expensive port, served with fresh mint and cream and are garnished with a 5-carat pink-diamond ring. Just snatch the menu, order it and bill your beau later. Stop being a wimp. Do it.
8. The Sultan’s Golden Cake
If you’re thinking about taking a romantic trip to Istanbul (stop the sneering, it could happen.) stop by the Ciragan Palace and indulge in delicious rum, caramelized black truffles and gold, real edible gold, dessert. You get to keep the silver cake box it comes in and I say for $1,000, it’s a steal.
7. The Madeleine Truffle
This $250 truffle isn’t expensive because it’s made of gold or has diamond chunks in it; this lofty price tag is all about the labor. Apparently, the ganache is whipped by hand until it’s as smooth as your nana’s hands. Plus, the poor little old chocolate maker has to make the stuff in an ultra cold refrigerated room. Now get out your wallets and give this guy some cash. He deserves it.
6. The Brownie Extraordinaire
The fact that this $1,000 brownie is in Jersey still makes me giggle. I guess they’re trying to class up the joint by throwing in Italian hazelnuts, dark chocolate brownies and crystal atomizers so people can squirt port into their greedy, greasy mouths after every bite.
5. Golden Opulence Sundae
Gold. Gold. Gold. Although, this dessert chooses insanely expensive chocolate over Hershey’s syrup and candied fruits, gold covered almonds and chocolate truffles over walnuts and a maraschino cherry, I still can’t quite wrap my cheap mind around the $1,000 price tag for…friggin’ ice cream.
4. Chocolate Variation
Stopping by Italy? Shoot your heavy pockets into Mezzaluna and sample the scrumptious chocolate dessert that has been ranked one of the most expensive desserts in the world — $640. It’s made with champagne sorbet (made from Roederer Cristal) and, of course edible golden leaves. I’m thinking this is where all the cash for gold is going.
3. Macaroons Haute Couture
I searched and searched as to why these macaroons have the hefty $7,414 price tag, but other than the “fleur de sel,” butter cream and balsamic vinegar, I have no real explanation for you. I can tell you that they do have peanut butter one’s so, if you are a crazy peanut butter lover that feels like cleaning out your 401k, go for it.
2. The Fortress Aquamarine
This dessert served in Sri Lanka is $14,500 and well worth it. There’s some chocolate, cream, some sort of berry, a red squiggly on the plate and a gianormous 80-carat aquamarine gem. Gimme. Gimme. Gimme.
1. Platinum Cake
Dear Boyfriend,
I want this ordinary cake covered in platinum jewelry. It is only $130,000 and I will never ask for another piece of jewelry again…this year.
Thank you.
XOXO,
Stephanie (Feel free to cross out my name and insert yours.)