February 15, 2008
Paris Hilton's A Trampy, Spoiled Version Of The Crazy Cat Lady Except It's Dogs And There's Probably More Oral Sex And Cocaine Going On
So Paris Hilton told Ellen DeGeneres that she owns 17 dogs. Seventeen. I hope her cleaning staff is top-notch otherwise that place is going to smell like the seventh ring of canine hell. Anyway, there's some law in Los Angeles that says you can't own more than three at one time. So The LA Dept. of Animal Services arrived earlier this week to her house to investigate her ass. You know there were dogs in pink sweaters yipping "please help us, she tests her makeup on us" at them. In actuality, when they showed up they discovered all of the animals were with different handlers so they couldn't really call her ass on anything. Paris told Ellen she has so many because the bitches keep getting knocked up and she feels bad giving them away. ""They keep having babies and I feel bad about giving them away. If I had a baby and someone gave it away for me I feel bad for my dogs." Like she's never given away a baby in her lifetime. If she thought about it, those "babies" would have better lives if she had given them away! Hmm, nice life in an average suburban house with a big backyard, or having to deal with Brandon Davis throwing up in your waterdish and Paris spreading peanut butter on her nipples and forcing you to lick them? You do the math!