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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fast Food Lasagna - Epic Meal Time

We got 45 burgers, a whole bunch of liquor and bacon.... this is Fast Food Lasagna.

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Dark Banksy: Dick Vador!


The First Zombie-Proof House


Somehow, ritual drunk-conversation concerning team captains for the apocalypse has become a major part of the lives of 20-somethings. Having been matured in the Grandaddy-crowned masterpiece film (put “A.M. 180” on and forget that you have a job), 28 Days Later, we’re all a little too ready to deal with the 2012 of our dreams.

“The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes, starts to get eerily close to something I could work with, if say 200 bludgeoned members of the undead army came over to eat their way into borrowing some sugar.

“The most essential item for our clients was acquiring the feeling of maximum security,” begins the designers’ website in the summary of the structure. Who wouldn’t feel safe in a concrete rectangle that folds in upon itself to become completely sealed? Even the windows are covered with a slab of concrete when the structure is on nap time.

The house, with its movable walls, has only one entrance, which is located on the second floor after crossing a drawbridge. Seems like the perfect opportunity to use a flamethrower and defend the life of your family, while stylishly nesting in a piece of architectural elitism.

The Hover Hand Song (Britney Spears Parody)!

Don't hold it against her.

From CH Staff

Martin Short Impersonates the Entire Cast of 'Jersey Shore' on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'


Martin Short, 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'Hey, MTV! There's no need to pay all those 'Jersey Shore' cast members all that money. Not when you can just pay one guy. Martin Short proved he knows what the kids are watching on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' (Weeknights, 12AM on ABC).

He put together a movie trailer for a 'Jersey Shore' film in which he plays every member of the cast, including the newest: Snooki's pickle baby. Yes, it's really a pickle.

The absurd short had Short dressed as each cast member, and he was surprisingly believable as most of them. He seemed to especially have a grasp on Snooki's personality and character.

So if you're missing 'Jersey Shore,' then why not try stopping by the 'Jersey Short.' Sure, they look a little older but they're just as crass and violent as the real cast, and they're funnier.

Watch the full interview here:

Libyan rebels's DIY weapon workshop is a sad combo of "Lawrence of Arabia" meets "Mad Max"

Posted by Alex_Pasternack


This really puts the whole DIY-maker-homebrew thing in perspective: Libya’s rebels aren’t just working with a hijacked cell phone network, but hobbling together their own weapons out of discarded military stockpiles. As this Al Jazeera report shows, they’re welding their own rocket launch platforms, affixing helicopter guns to pick-up trucks, and builidng missile firing controls out of light switches.

The ramshackle weaponry is a testament to the ingenuity and determination of the Libyan people, but even with the help of NATO airstrikes, it won’t be enough to destroy the regime. And as The Times’ C.J. Chivers reports, the whole post-apocalyptic weaponry idea is dangerous too. Rebel mechanics aren’t just unfamiliar with the ins-and-outs of say, a 57-millimeter rocket: they’re not very expert at aiming them either. The weapons haven’t done much to deter the military, but they have likely driven up civilian casualties and friendly-fire incidents. “Many Libyan rebels – more spirited than experienced – nonetheless approve of their rocket brigades,” writes Chivers. “With their almost sci-fi aesthetic, and the tremendous noise and show they make when fired, they are a morale-booster for troops who know little of effective tactics or of how modern weapons actually work.”

If the European and American forces really want to oust Gadaffi but won’t send the fresh weapons the rebels need (especially after a nasty fire that decimated one of their stockpiles), perhaps someone could start a Kickstarter campaign to send some hardcore tinkerers or This Old House fanatics to the desert. Firepower and precision is nice, but nothing says dogged persistence – and desperation – quite like a homebrew mecha with a flamethrower for an arm.

The 60 Greatest Contributions 'South Park' Has Made To The English Language

by Emma Jones

There are some things in life that school, parents or The Discovery Channel just can't teach us. Sure, if you're ever on "Jeopardy!" then it may be useful to know the capital of Kyrgyzstan or the author of "War and Peace," but for everything else, there can only be one reliable authoritah: "South Park."

Over the last 14 years, "South Park" has bridged the educational gap and raised awareness of some of the more taboo but important issues in society. Now in its 15th season (it premieres tomorrow!), the show has not only broadened our minds, but also our vocabulary. Just take a look at some of the words "South Park" has added to our vocabulary...

Artard: Complete moron, absolute idiot.

Authoritah: Authority that must be respected.

Baking Brownies
: Farting; more specifically, the occasional wet fart that leaves a brown stain on underwear.

Boneration: Alternative word for male erection.

Bono: A man who, no matter how many good things he does, comes acress as a huge piece of crap. This is because he actually is crap.

Bunshole: An alternative word to a**hole, invented by Mr. Mackey.

Buttfor: For pooping; i.e., "What's a Buttfor?"

Cancer Kazoo: An electrolarynx, akin to a megaphone, only it is held to a hole in the throat after the larynx is removed due to disease.

Cheesing: Getting high off cat pee.

Chinpokomon: Japanese toy franchise. All must be collected.

Couric: A unit of measure for fecal matter. One Katie Couric is equal to approximately two and a half pounds of excrement.

Crunchy/Crunchy Groove: A super sweet dig or song.

Day Walkers: Not fully Ginger (see Gingers). Characterized by red hair, but do not have freckles or light skin pigment.

Durkadur! (or similar): Southern "hick" word that is expressed with showing/supporting a certain subject.

Fag: Obnoxious Harley riders

Fingerbang: To masturbate a woman with a finger.

Fish Sticks: Of which liking means you are a gay fish. Enjoyed by Kanye West.

Flippity-floppity-hotchy-mama: A woman who nobody can take her place, no way they can match her face, no. She got it goin' on in a way so clear, you just wanna buy her a beer.

Fudge Dragon: A turd.

Gaylord: A super gay person (or, literally, a lord of the gays).

Gingers: Characterized by pale skin, red hair and freckles.

Goobacks: Humans from the year 3045 that time travel to seek work.

Green Apple Splatters: Acute diarrhea of an explosive nature.

Hot Carl: The sexual act of crapping on your partner's face.

Imaginationland: The land where all the beings created by human imagination reside. Accessible only by singing "The Imagination Song."

Jackovasaurus: A rare prehistoric humanoid duck.

Jewbilee: A Boy Scout-esque camp for Jewish boys.

Krocsyldiphithic: Something which has a krocsyldiph-like quality. Krocsyldiphithic is a hard word to spell.

Left the Oven On: Left something unfinished.

Let the Twins Out: Expose the female breasts.

Lestastic: Something fantastic to lesbians.

Lid: An ounce (typically, of marijuana).

Little Man in the Boat: Clitoris.

Limey: Limejuicer--a British sailor. So called because lime juice was used to treat scurvy among the sailors.

Manbearpig: A scary monster that is half man, half bear and half pig.

Marklar: An alien race. Also used a substitute for a noun in Marklar language.

Meecrob: Something that is worse than poo. Generally referring to food.

Melvin: A worthless member of society; someone who spends most of their time whining, pitying themselves and sucking at life.

Molestering: Accusation of which is a good way of getting rid of parents for a while.

Mud Monkey: A dookie in the urinal.

Muff Cabbage: Female genitalia. Believed to derive from Jersey Shore's "muff garbage."

Mung: The stuff that comes out when you push down on a pregnant woman's stomach.

Negroplasty: Surgery to make yourself black.

Poonanner: Female genitalia.

Poontang: See Poonanner. Can also be used as a derogatory name for a female.

Red Rocket: A canine erection usually obtained through milking.

Ritalout/Rittleout: Ritalin antidote.

Roshambo: Method of dispute resolution. You kick each other in the nuts until only one person remains standing; that person wins.

Sand in Your Vagina: To have your panties in a bunch, be pissy, hold a grudge.

Science Damn It!: An interjection used to express anger, annoyance, disgust or dismay. More acceptable than "God Damn It!" within a secular crowd.

Scissoring: A sexual position practised between two women.

Skylarkings: Flights of fancy, tomfooleries, foolish behavior.

Smoosh Smoosh!: Sex as desired by the creature Snooki.

Smug: A destructive cloud formed from smugness.

Snuke: A nuclear device hidden within a vagina.

Sock Bath: To rub somebody down (who is dry) with bars of soap, before "drying" them off with multiple socks.

Succubus: A woman sent from Hell to suck the life out of a man. Plural: Succubi.

Super Best Friends: A superhero organization composed of the leading figures of all the world's leading religions.

Tits!: A positive exclamation for great, groovy, cool, rad, etc.

Torsonic Polarity Symdrome: A genetic condition that causes humans to be born with a set of buttocks over their facial organs.

Visitors: Extraterrestrials. Those who make frequent visits to this planet for some reason or another.

Weak: A negative exclamation for bogus, unfortunate, too bad etc. Opposite of "Tits!"

10 Famous Scenes Recreated In Lego

by chrisilluminati

Lego Joker from The Dark Knight Returns

People have way too much time. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m terrible at time management. Perhaps if I didn’t waste so much time sleeping, showering and eating I’d have time to make stop-motion movies with Lego figures. Got it! Going to stop blogging. That will free up plenty of time.

Here are ten Lego recreations of popular movies, TV shows, songs and movie trailers. Grab some popcorn. Real popcorn, not the Lego stuff. That gets caught in your throat you’re screwed.

Sick BackFlip Catch

Sick Backflip Catch - Watch more Funny Videos

My kind of art: 72,000 bottles of beer you can drink

Written by Carlo Alcos

Check out this exhibit by Cyprien Gaillard at Berlin’s KW Institute for Contemporary Art. It’s called “The Recovery of Discovery” and consists of 72,000 bottles of the Turkish beer, Efes. Apparently, you can climb the pile of cases — at your own risk — and drink away. The rules are you cannot take any bottles out of the room or clean anything.

It runs until May 22 (or, I suppose, until it’s all drank).

More details on what this exhibit is about can be found here.

Marvel Releases First Avengers Set Photo As Principal Photography Begins In Albuquerque

Author: Katey Rich


Not to be outdone by director Joss Whedon's personal note to fans, Marvel has also taken the opportunity to announce the official start of shooting on The Avengers. They also upped the ante by adding the first official set photo-- though before you get too excited, note that there's not a single human being or special effect in the image. Check it out below, then we'll go over some highlights of the press release.

Oddly, the production is referred to throughout the release as Marvel's The Avengers- I'm not sure if that's just a vanity mention on behalf of the studio sending out the release or something that's possibly going to be attached to the final product. In listing the cast for The Avengers the release also confirms the presence of Tom Hiddleston as Loki-- who has been rumored as the film's big villain--and Stellan Skarsgard as Professor Erik Selvig, confirming a rumor we previously heard.

Beyond that it's pretty much standard press release stuff, no surprise given that they've done a remarkable job so far of giving us the minimum amount of information about the film. The Avengers will be released on May 4, 2012, giving them just over a year to pull this massive project together.

Solo East Travel: Chernobyl Tour

23 Years Later, You can now tour the Reactor, town, and surroundings.


You can book a private tour or join one of the scheduled group tours below. If you're already in Kiev call us at 406-3500 and we might offer a very good price for you, students discounts for the tours scheduled on the next few days.

Watch in 2011 on Travel Channel - Julian and Camilla's World Odyssey in Chernobyl.
We provide the best guides - Watch our guests Filip & Fredrik i Tjernobyl (Swedish/English)


(Near Pervomaysk 300 km South of Kiev.)

The high light of the trip is being a descent 33 meters down to the bottom of the Unified Launch Control Center!

  • Take an underground corridor to the massive doors which lead to a self-contained silo-based 12-storey Command Post which could function sealed from the outside world for 45 days.
  • Sit in the Command seat and experience what Soviet officers could feel during the Cold War and being in charge of nine missiles SS-22. You can touch the button that could cause a catastrophe if pressed 18 years ago.
  • Look inside SS-18 'Satan' Intercontinental Ballistic Missile - equipped with up to 10 warheads and 40 penaids - it used to give Soviet Union "first strike" advantage over the U.S. - it's operating range 10,200-15,200 km, Weight 209,600 kg (462,000 lb) Length 32.2 m (106 ft) Diameter 3.05 m (10.0 ft).

Fire ants assemble as a 'super-organism'

By Katharine Gammon

Fire ants assemble as a 'super-organism'
Ants float because of the buoyancy of the air bubbles trapped next to their bodies. A thin layer of air can be seen around its antennae and body as well. Credit: Ant Laboratory, Georgia Institute of Technology

The ants may go marching one by one, but they end up forming a superstructure of thousands -- and together they can form a raft that stretches the boundaries of the laws of physics, according to new research released today.

Ants have exoskeletons that are naturally hydrophobic, or water repellant. A single ant can walk on water because of the buoyancy of the air bubbles trapped next to its body, and the water's own surface tension. However, when thousands of ants stand on top of each other, their multiplied weight should cause them to sink. But for years, biologists have observed fire floating down flood plains and rivers in their native South America.

For the first time, a group of engineers has attacked the question of ant flotation from a physics perspective. Ants float as a group because they can harness the power of nearby air bubbles. Grasping each other's mandibles or front legs with a force 400 times their body weight, the ants are able to trap small pockets of air between them -- like a group floatation device.

"The ants are so tightly knit together, that air pockets form between the water and the ants, and water cannot penetrate through any part," said Nathan Mlot, a graduate student at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta and one of the study's authors.

The bottom layer of ants rests on top of the water's surface, and others pile on above them. Even when they do get submerged, the pockets of air bring them back to the surface quickly -- and allow them to breathe. When they get submerged, the ants flex their muscles in unison to form a tighter weave.

To understand exactly how the structure worked, the researchers took a raft of several thousand ants and dropped it in , immediately freezing it. Then they were able to look at the structure on an ant-by-ant level under an electron-scanning microscope. "We were surprised at just how waterproof raft was -- its ability to repel water and keep afloat," said Mlot.

What if you want to drown the ants? Just add soap to the water, which greatly reduces its of water and sinks the raft, said Mlot. "With soap, the ants will drown within a matter of seconds, whereas they can survive for days or even weeks on the raft otherwise."

Fire ants assemble as a 'super-organism'

When fire ants are gathered into a group, they have some of the same properties as a liquid, like the ability to flow from one container to another. Credit: Ant Laboratory, Georgia Institute of Technology

To test some of the behavioral dynamics inside the pancake-shaped raft, the researchers painstakingly picked ants one by one from the top of the structure. Soon, a new one would climb from the bottom to keep the raft the same thickness.

"We know that self-assembly and self-healing are attributes of living organisms, and we have seen that ant rafts develop these on a macro scale," said Mlot. The study was published today in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"Each ant does one tiny job, but they can build these incredible structures," said Kenneth Ross, an entomologist with the University of Georgia who was not involved in the work. Ross says that the rafts include not only worker ants, but also the queen and her brood -- the reproductive cells of the giant superorganism. From what he has seen in his research, the queen usually stays in the center of the raft, with an even tighter ball of ants around her.

This level of social organization isn't common, said Joshua King, an insect ecologist at the Central Connecticut State University, in New Britain. "This study reinforces how unique the collective behaviors of social insects are when compared to other animals."

This type of research could eventually help in many fields, from making a better rain jacket to building robots that can think. When the ants link up their mandibles and legs, they form a highly waterproof weave, which could be the basis for next-generation materials for lifejackets or boats. In addition, social insects like ants have long been the inspiration for autonomous robotics that could link up to build a larger structure.

" are like little computers, acting on a few simple rules of engagement," said Mlot.

More information: -- Mlot, Tovey & Hu. 2011. Fire ants self-assemble into hydrophobic rafts to survive floods. PNAS , … s.1016658108

Ants as Fluids: Physics-Inspired Biology, Micah Streiff, Nathan Mlot, Sho Shinotsuka, Alex Alexeev, David Hu, arXiv:1010.3256v1 [physics.flu-dyn]


Fire ants use their claws to grip diverse surfaces, including each other. As a result of their mutual adhesion and large numbers, ant colonies flow like inanimate fluids. In this sequence of films, we demonstrate how ants behave similarly to the spreading of drops, the capillary rise of menisci, and gravity-driven flow down a wall. By emulating the flow of fluids, ant colonies can remain united under stressful conditions.

Provided by Inside Science News Service (news : web)

New York Libraries: Come on in and Watch Some Porn


If you don't mind getting your face punched in, New York's public libraries might just be your new favorite place to watch people have sex with each other on the internet. Sure, you're surrounded by other patrons, but it's free!

You might think that watching people pound away at each other in the most graphic and jarring manner in public might run contrary to a library's mission of promoting literature and the arts, while providing a safe and tranquil place to read, work, and study. And sure, in 1973 Miller v. California pulled porn out of the categorical forcefield of free speech. But, the NY Post reports, NYPL rep Angela Montefinise thinks everyone's favorite part of the Bill of Rights includes PornHub: "In deference to the First Amendment protecting freedom of speech, the New York Public Library cannot prevent adult patrons from accessing adult content that is legal."

This is a sticky (sorry) situation! On the one hand, we tend to agree that people should be able to access whatever information they'd like in a free society. And what if you're a gender studies major, and you're writing a thesis on pornography? Or something. Cases like that are likely the infinitesimal exception to the rule that is creepy dudes without a home internet connection who just want to spend the afternoon watching porn, but censorship never quite sits right, even when it's something I probably wouldn't want my (hypothetical) little kids to see when I take them to the library to read Goodnight Moon.

So which side to err on? Liberal progressive western civilization, or not wanting to expose children to HD gang bangs? Masturbating in public is always illegal, whether you're doing it to internet porn or Jane Eyre, so that shouldn't be an issue as long as there's some diligent librarian to enforce it (and my God what an awful job that would be). So perhaps we could make exemptions for those occasional cases in which porn-viewing would have some scholarly justification—but really, the first amendment is about information and ideas, and libraries are about accessing just that. No matter how much of a free speech zealot you are, we can all agree that porn (especially two minute clips online) convey nothing except naked doing it—erotic stimulus, not information. So, sorry, creepy guys of New York (and beyond)—I think the libraries need to rescind this invitation. With that being said, online porn is a wonderful thing, and I would take to the streets with an AK-47 to defend its legal consumption in the privacy of your own home. [NYP via Gawker]

Shutterstock/Robert Kneschke

Will The Royal Wedding Be The Largest Non-Sporting Gambling Event In History?


There are those who will watch next week's royal wedding with crossed fingers and bated breath, meticulously timing the length of Prince William and Kate Middleton's first kiss, breathlessly waiting to see the color of the queen's hat, and calculating the length of the train on the bride's wedding gown, all in the hopes of seeing a fairy tale come to life.

But there will be tens of thousands of others, similarly glued to their televisions, equally anxious and obsessed with the same details but for a very different reason: money. Lots of it.

Millions of dollars will be bet on the April 29 wedding, in what is expected to be the largest non-sporting gambling event in history, eclipsing wagers for the Academy Awards.

Bookmakers across the United Kingdom and around the world have set odds on virtually every variable in the wedding, from the shade of white for Middleton's dress -- 2-3 for ivory, 3-4 for cream -- to the length of her train. Even whether Prince Harry, William's younger brother and best man, will drop the ring during the ceremony (25-1 says he will, 1-50 says he won't.)

Gambling is perfectly legal in the U.K. and most towns have a betting parlor on the main street. Most of the wagers already placed online have come from British gamblers, said Ed Pownall, the politics and entertainment oddsmaker for Bodog, the world's biggest gambling website.

But thousands of pounds are being wagered from elsewhere around the world, particularly India.

Indeed, many of the countries where the Queen's image is still on the currency -– including Canada, which has seen a spike in bets recently -- or which were former colonies such as India are betting heavily.

Gambling, for the most part, is illegal in the United States. U.S. casinos don't take bets on non-sporting events such as the Oscars because the results are already known to a handful of people. But online betting at sites based overseas is a legal gray area, and many Americans go to Bodog and similar sites to bet on things such as the winner of "American Idol."

Royal Wedding: Queen Leads All Bets

"We are seeing a real interest in the royal wedding from the U.S., especially given how much coverage it's getting over there," Pownall said. "All three networks are going to be showing the ceremony."

The most popular bet so far is about the color of the hat Queen Elizabeth will wear. The leading choice is yellow.

Following a rumor that the hat would be yellow, the odds changed from 10-1 to 6-4, meaning they're now almost even.

The biggest long-shot gamble: Middleton becomes a runaway bride, leaving William jilted at the altar. That bet pays out $1,000 for every $1 gambled.

Live coverage of the event means bookies will be creating new bets as the ceremony takes place. The wedding is a national holiday in the U.K. and bookmakers are betting that gamblers -- or punters, as they're called in Britain -– stay home and make continuous bets.

"To be honest," Pownall said, "most weddings are actually quite boring. If you can have a bet, it creates an added interest. Betting on who will cry, the dress color, the length of the sermon helps to hold your interest."

But it's not just gambling that will allow armchair guests to participate in a little celebratory debauchery.

A group of friends created a page on Facebook a few weeks ago outlining the rules for a royal wedding drinking game. Since then, about 188,000 people have joined the group to learn the rules and add some of their own.

Rules include taking a drink every time the queen appears on screen, and taking three swigs whenever Friday's wedding is compared to the 1980 nuptials of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer.

White House releases Obama birth certificate


WASHINGTON — The White House released the long form of President Barack Obama's birth certificate Wednesday in response to questions about whether he was really born in the U.S.

The certificate says Obama was born in Hawaii, which makes him eligible to hold the office of president. Obama released a standard short form before he was elected in 2008, but requested copies of his original birth certificate from Hawaii officials this week in hopes of quieting the lingering controversy.

White House spokesman Jay Carney says Obama felt the debate over his birthplace had become a "sideshow" that was bad for the country and political debate.

White House officials have said the issue was settled long ago. But so-called "birthers" opposed to Obama have kept the issue alive. Potential Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump recently began questioning why Obama hadn't ensured the long form was released.

"The president feels this was bad for the country, that it's not healthy for our political debate," Carney said in releasing copies of the long form to reporters.

The certificate is signed by the delivery doctor, Obama's mother and the local registrar. His mother, then 18, signed her name (Stanley) Ann Dunham Obama.

The form says Barack Hussein Obama II was born at 7:24 p.m. on Aug. 4, 1961, at Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital, within the city limits of Honolulu.

There's no mention of religion. It says his father Barack Hussein Obama, age 25, was African and born in Kenya and his mother was Caucasian and born in Wichita, Kan. Obama's mother and the doctor signed the certificate on Aug. 7 and 8.

Hawaii's registrar certified the new photocopy of the document provided to the White House on April 25, 2011.