vodpod.com — "I did this to protest the current blockade of Gaza.To protest the fact that the people of Gaza live in a virtual prison.To protest the fact that a year after the terror attack by Israeli armed forces destroyed most of their homes,hospitals,schools,and other public buildings,they have no possibility to rebuild because their borders are closed." RW
By G. Xavier Robillard
From: http://www.asylum.com/
If you've watched five seconds of the World Cup so far you're sure to be totally annoyed by the vuvuzela, a plastic horn that sounds like a mosquito near your ear. Or 15,000 of them all at once.
Associated Press
From: http://soccernet.espn.go.com/
JOHANNESBURG -- TV viewers can take out their earplugs -- the vuvuzelas are going to have a bit less buzz.
Host Broadcast Services, the company that provides the broadcast feed for the World Cup, said Tuesday it has doubled its audio filters to reduce the constant blaring buzz of vuvuzelas.
TV viewers around the globe have complained that the swarm-of-bees sound from the plastic horns is stinging their ears.
"Despite HBS' core philosophy, which is to provide 'realistic' host broadcast coverage reflecting the ambience in the stadiums, additional audio filtering has been implemented," according to the daily newsletter given to rightsholders Tuesday.
The filters also will minimize other crowd noise in the stadiums, such as chants and cheers.
Several broadcasters already had taken their own measures to reduce the drone. French broadcaster TF1 changed its microphones after the opening match between Mexico and host South Africa, replacing them with mics commentators hold close to their mouths to better filter sound.
The BBC, which had received 545 complaints from viewers as of Tuesday morning, said it is considering giving viewers the option of muting ambient noise while maintaining game commentary through its "red button" digital service. Viewers would push a red button on their remote controls to receive the quieter broadcast on a separate channel.
"We have already taken steps to minimize the noise and are continuing to monitor the situation," the BBC said in a statement. "If the vuvuzela continues to impact on audience enjoyment, we will look at what other options we can take to reduce the volume further."
The noise of the vuvuzelas has been the talk of the World Cup, so much so that British bookmaker William Hill is now taking bets on whether the horns will be banned at English Premier League stadiums next season.
"The vuvuzela certainly polarizes opinion, and we suspect that individual clubs will want to put a rule in place to enable them to ban them should they threaten to become widespread," Hill's spokesman Graham Sharpe said.
Hill's also is taking bets that the vuvuzelas will be banned by the end of the World Cup. But FIFA president Sepp Blatter has strongly backed the use of the horns since they were introduced to the wider football world at the Confederations Cup test event in South Africa exactly a year ago, and he said again Monday they're here to stay.
The vuvuzelas are something uniquely African, and Blatter said he is not about to ban the music traditions of fans in their own country.
Several players said the din of the horns is having an impact on the field. Netherlands striker Robin van Persie avoided a second yellow card -- and a ban from the next game -- by blaming the vuvuzelas for failing to hear an offsides whistle.
Argentina striker Carlos Tevez said the din of vuvuzelas makes it hard for players to communicate with each other on the field.
"Those sirens or trumpets -- I don't know what they are -- make it very difficult to speak on the field," Tevez said after Argentina's training session Tuesday at the University of Pretoria. "You have to shout and sometimes you run out of breath, you get a bit more tired. They are extremely bothersome."
But van Persie said he doesn't want to see vuvuzelas banned.
"I think we have to respect it, because we are in South Africa, and we need to respect where we are," he said. "This is their tradition. This belongs to them."
In Durban, Switzerland coach Ottmar Hitzfeld scheduled an extra public training session and invited South African fans, knowing they would bring their plastic horns.
Hitzfeld said it was good practice for his players to get used to communicating on the pitch when their voices are drowned out by the constant buzz.
Copyright 2010 by The Associated Press
This is Ridiculous! How did this guy get nominated?
Please someone tell me...
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann Interviews South Carolina Democratic Senate Nominee Alvin Greene - 06/10/10
Reporting from Berurim, Israel — —
If Willy Wonka had a farm, it would fit right in here in Israel.
Want a lemon-scented tomato or a chocolate-colored persimmon? How about some miniaturized garlic cloves for the home chef who doesn't have time to chop, or a purple potato that tastes buttery when cooked?
There are no chocolate rivers or edible teacup flowers on Israeli farms, but you will find carrots shaped like potatoes, strawberries shaped like carrots, star-shaped zucchini and "watermelon" tomatoes — dark green on the outside with a juicy red flesh.
There are also specially bred red peppers with three times the usual amount of vitamins, and black chickpeas with extra antioxidants. Not to mention worm-shaped berries and blue bananas.
Though some mock such colorful crops as "frankenfruit," an Israeli tomato breeder, Hazera Genetics, has created a boutique crop worth more than its weight in gold.
The former kibbutz supplier developed a yellow cherry tomato that its own researchers feared might turn off consumers. Instead, the hybrid became a hit in Europe, where the seeds sell for about $160,000 a pound.
Bolstered by Hazera's success, a growing number of Israeli farmers, agricultural companies and government-funded research institutions are jumping into the market for freaky fruits and designer veggies, hoping to stumble upon the next big thing.
"It's fun, it's interesting and it brings in the customers," said Uri Rabinowitz, a Tel Aviv-area farmer who has developed a national following for his strange-looking crops, including elongated strawberries and round carrots. "You can charge twice as much."
Rabinowitz and other Israeli farmers grow exotic fruits and vegetables from imported seeds, including the chocolaty persimmon from Latin America (which makes a tasty ice cream) and the buttery potato from the Netherlands.
Some are trying to create new foods in the lab. A team of Israeli and U.S. scientists created the lemon-scented tomato by splicing genes from lemon basil into tomatoes, producing an aroma and taste of lemons and roses.
Efraim Lewinsohn, who has helped lead the project to develop the lemon tomato at Israel's Volcani Agricultural Research Institute, said the goal was to inject a little spice into tomatoes that had become bland from years of mass production.
"People complain that tomatoes don't taste like they used to," Lewinsohn said. "That's the driving force behind this project: attempting to restore the flavor of the past."
From: http://www.metro.co.uk/
Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan (Picture: Absolute Film Archive)
But junior Jedis hoping to recreate the clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader should think again, as the Spyder III Pro Arctic is not a toy and its force could prove deadly, according to the manufacturer.
The 1watt tool, said to be the world’s most powerful portable laser, features a blue ray that is 1,000 times stronger than sunlight on skin.
‘Extremely dangerous is an understatement to the power,’ says Hong Kong manufacturer Wicked Lasers.
‘It will blind permanently and instantly and set fire quickly to skin and other body parts – use with extreme caution and only when using the included eye protection.’
The powerful beam can be seen by aircraft pilots 72km (45miles) away and should not be pointed at vehicles, children or animals, Wicked adds.
But, even though it is a potentially lethal weapon, it seems anyone with a credit card can order one.
Britain is listed as one of 70 countries the laser will be shipped to and there do not appear to be age checks on buyers.
Customers must agree to a Class IV Laser Hazard acknowledgment form before ordering online and the document says ‘people have been arrested, fined and jailed for misuse’.
The Spyder III comes with safety goggles but even these cannot fully protect against the rays.
A post on a laser enthusiasts’ website reads: ‘I just ordered one. It will be stored in my gun safe because it is about as dangerous as a handgun.’
(roitberg)
Back in the late 19th century, Coca-Cola hooked customers with a narcotic hit drawn from its namesake coca leaf. These days, Coke is cocaine-free, and may or may not still have coca-leaf flavoring, depending on who you speak to. But a new drink from Bolivia, Coca Colla, isn't shy about its ingredients, even sporting a bright green coca leaf on its label.
The energy drink, produced by a small Bolivian company that develops legitimate uses for coca leaves, uses coca-leaf flour as a key ingredient. It apparently lacks the cocaine that made early Coca-Cola popular, but is gaining cult status since being served at President Evo Morales' inauguration. Morales is no fan of the leading American cola, and the Bolivian government may help its own drink build some buzz:
“
The beverage is named after both the coca leaf, a plant that is virtually the national symbol of Bolivia, and the local population. The word "colla" is a local term referring to the descendants of the indigenous Aymara people, a heritage Mr. Morales shares. Mr. Morales has also headed a union of coca farmers.Although the Bolivian government is still studying Coca Colla and hasn't provided any financing, Mr. Morales is no fan of the other Coca-Cola. He has criticized the soft drink, and referred to Coke in a recent speech as "the liquid that plumbers use to unblock the toilets."
”
The American company isn't currently planning any legal action against the Bolivian startup -- though we hear Coke may be investigating the local plumbing industry.
Global Marketing: Bolivian Coca Colla Is No Coke [Advertising Age]
by Neal - Johns Hopkins
from: http://coedmagazine.com/
COED’s Most Anticipated Movies of 2010 hailed the film adaptation of “Arrested Development” as the most eagerly awaited release. Talk about your all-time c*cktease. Looking at this year’s tentative slate of box office hopefuls, you might think Hollywood is unoriginal. WHAT?!? I hear you say. I know. Shocking. Lots of sequels, threequels, prequels, and Squeakwels (thanks, Alvin). You might also notice some big budget flicks have been passed over like a Jewish holiday. Even with with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley replacing Megan Fox, Transformers 3 has no chance of erasing the soiled diaper that was Revenge of the Fallen. We omitted the 18 Twilights set to release because we’re not tweens. Potters, Spy Kids, Lycans, and pretty much anything animated had to take it outside, take it outside. Even Death missed the list and that dude never misses. On the brink were Aziz Ansari’s first lead role in “30 Minutes Or Less”, The Farrelly Brothers’ “Hall Pass”, Ron Howard’s collabo with Vince Vaughn and Kevin James “Cheaters”, and the inspiring romcom “Cabin in the Woods.”
20. The Green Hornet
Studio: Sony Pictures
Director: Michel Gondry (Be Kind Rewind, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Human Nature)
Cast: Seth Rogen, Cameron Diaz, Edward James Olmos, Edward Furlong, Tom Wilkinson
Scheduled Release Date: 1/14/2011
Hmm, this nontraditional superhero flick just missed COED’s most anticipated list for 2010, so what happened? With Seth Rogen and Michel Gondry on the payroll, how could this get delayed six months? Originally tabbed for a late June 2010 release, the Sony Pictures project caught a case of the 3-D bug, not to be confused with The Human Centipede bug that causes movies to eat their own… never mind. So, the studio decided to re-purpose the footage for 3-D projection but why push to mid-January? Isn’t that a death knell for releases? The highest grossing opening weekend was Cloverfield in ’08 coming in at $40 or so million and that was made for about $25 mil. The script’s penned by Rogen and partner Evan Goldberg (Superbad, Pineapple Express), so this should be interesting. Diaz plays the love interest of a leaner, meaner Rogen and Ed “Motherf*cking” Furlong rises like a phoenix from the ashes to play Tupper. His last role in a “big” movie was 1999′s “Detroit Rock City” and “American History X”.
19. Green Lantern
Studio: Warner Brothers
Director: Martin Campbell (GoldenEye, Casino Royale, Edge of Darkness)
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Mark Strong, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Tim Robbins
Scheduled Release Date: 6/17/2011
Did I just go back-to-back Green on Green? Oh no he didn’t! Oh, I believe I did. And there’s good reason for it, too. Seems like every time you have movies closely mirroring each other – even on the most simplistic level (in this case, superheroes and the color green) – you confuse people. Dante’s Peak vs. Volcano in 1997, Deep Impact vs Armageddon in 1998, Aladdin vs. Prince of Persia Sands of Time. The list goes on. Yes, the dedicated hoards of fanboys expressed their allegiances, but what about the sheep? Who’s more bad-ass: a dude who wears a ring (every fist begins with ‘F’?) to give him powers or the guy with the Asian sidekick? Lantern has a more conventional superhero blockbuster aesthetic with Ryan Reynolds and his superheroic physique combined with a summer release some six months after people hopefully (for Lantern) forget Hornet. With Reynolds also starring in Deadpool, which is rumored to release in 2011, will (simpler) audiences have trouble following? Seeing as Chris Evans can be the Human Torch and Captain America, I guess studios think they won’t. Many critics feel this shouldn’t be a movie. Do you agree?
Check out the realest fake trailer ever:
18. Horrible Bosses
Studio: Warner Brothers
Director: Seth Gordon (“King of Kong”, November 2010′s “Freakonomics”)
Cast: Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day
Scheduled Release Date: 7/29/2011
Talk about WB bringing out the big guns for this dark comedy – they’ve assembled the dynamic duo from the Miami Vice remake (Farrell and Foxx), the “Wild Card” from “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” (Charlie Day), Jenna Maroney impersonator and SNL’s Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis), and Dark Comedy Knight Master Bateman. Topping it off is leading lady in every romcom ever, cougalicious Jen Aniston playing “her raunchiest role yet.” How can you miss it? I’ve been saying for years that you have to unleash her inner ho. Every trailer you see with Aniston you know A) she’s gonna pout B) she’ll have her heart-broken and C) it’s not her fault or if it is you’ll empathize with her because of A and B. You want to tap into the American male market? Go flip mode on us. Give bad girls gone good and good girls gone bad. Lady – street. Freak — bed. I want to bathe in this laugh riot soup and dry off in a d*ck towel. Oh, the plot features “three friends who hate their jobs and decide to murder each other’s bosses.” Like a darker version of “Nine To Five” but with d00dz. Count me in.
17. Red Riding Hood
Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Lords of Dogtown, Thirteen)
Cast: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Shiloh Fernandez, Carmen Lavigne, Jen Halley
Scheduled Release Date: 4/22/2011
Ever seen “Thirteen”? It stars Marilyn Manson plaything Evan Rachel Wood as bad ass jailbait who likes to steal stuff, take painkillers and get punched in the face. It’s heartwarming and uplifting. Anyway, Catherine Hardwicke directed that award-winning indie and now she has her sights set on lensing another adolescent girl, only this time the chick’s generally known in Fable Land as an airhead. Will David Johnson’s script give her more of an edge like this chick? Well, for starters she falls for an orphaned woodcutter (generally known as the bad boy of medieval townsfolk) and has to avoid / conquer a werewolf that terrorizes her village. Also, how awesome is Gary Oldman? he could play ever male role in this pic and nail it. Plus, film’s produced by Leo. That dude does not get involved in things that suck (unless it’s really really really smoking hot models).
16. Born To Be A Star
Studio: Sony Pictures
Director: Pro Bowl New England Patriots QB Tom Brady (not really, but that’s his name)
Cast: Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff, Pauly Shore, Nick Swardson, Justin Timberlake, Hilary Duff
Scheduled Release Date: 4/22/2011
“A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents’ footsteps — and become a porn star.” This cumedy from Sony Pictures raises several questions: Has porn become mainstream? Is it no longer taboo? Are we no longer allowed to be ashamed of that folder labeled, “DO NOT OPEN” in “My Videos“? I mean, people are watching it at work, 95% of semi-SFW men’s sites have at least one article on it per week (stop looking at us!). This premise isn’t so shocking as it would’ve been in the 70s or 80s. Had it been made then it’d probably be a drama since the subject matter is so controversial. My hopes are Christina Ricci gets all Black Snake Moan on us and makes me remember why I get up in the morning (besides to p*ss excellence) – to work my tail off so one day I can afford to buy her a ring. And not that Green Lantern sh*t either! The pseudo skin flick was originally scheduled to release in early September but my assumption is they’re retooling it to be in 3-D. Then it and you can both OPEN WIDE!
15. Contagion
Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Steven Soderbergh (Michael Clayton, A Scanner Darkly, Syriana)
Cast: Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Marion Cotillard, Laurence Fishburne
Scheduled Release Date: 10/21/2011
Once you wipe the spunk off your face from watching Born To Be a Star in 3D, you can then enjoy a deadly virus! That’s right Contagion, “an action-thriller centered on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak”, will come at ya in three dimensions as well. I can’t find anything wrong with this cast and Soderbergh always does a fantastic job of making me ask, “Is this real life?” like I’m a kid fresh out of dental surgery. My gut says this could be the next “Children of Men,” which has some of the most intensely real action scenes I’ve ever witnessed.
14. Immortals
Studio: Universal
Director: Tarsem Singh
Cast: Mickey Rourke, Kellan Lutz, Isabel Lucas, Henry Cavill, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff
Scheduled Release Date: 11/11/2011
Director Tarsem Singh’s last recognizable directing credit was a trippy mindf*ck about a psychotherapist called “The Cell” starring Jennifer Lopez. I had seizures watching the trailer and that was just from J Lo’s booty. Imagine what he can do with Mickey Rourke, Rourke’s affinity for unusual looking animals, and Greek mythology. On a side note, is Dorff vying for Comeback Actor of the Year? I might suffer from Dorfferload. Ew. I could never date Isabel Lucas. I’d be too worried our car would crash or she’d turn into a deception, which in turn would probably make our car crash. Either way, I don’t have insurance.
13. Real Steel
Studio: Disney
Director: Shawn Levy (Date Night, Night at the Museum 1 & 2, Cheaper by the Dozen, Just Married)
Cast: Evangeline Lilly, Kevin Durand, Hugh Jackman, Hope Davis
Scheduled Release Date: 11/18/2011
The title and the premise of this boxing drama pump me the F up. I mean, it’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots for adults! Then, I saw that Disney is distributing it and I sharted, then stabbed myself. Hey Mouse House, you don’t have apply a 15th coat of sugar to make something inspirational and emotional. Here’s to hoping Evangeline Lilly goes back to her Lost roots and does the love triangle thing with Durand (also on Lost, X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and Jackman. Considering director Shawn Levy’s track record, be prepared for a toothache. Still, the possibilities! If you had Fincher or Eastwood behind the camera and Warner Brothers distributing, this would put Terminator to shame.
12. Sucker Punch
Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300, Dawn of the Dead)
Cast: Vanessa Hudgens, Carla Gugino, Jena Malone, Jon Hamm, Michael Jai White, Emily Browning
Scheduled Release Date: 3/25/2011
The producers describe this effort from Watchmen and 300 director Zack Snyder as “Alice in Wonderland with machine guns” that blends dragons, B-52 bombers, and brothels. Um, I really have to wait ’til next f’n March to see this? Story follows “Baby Doll” (Emily Browning) who is imprisoned by her evil stepfather in a mental institution where he’s planned to lobotomize her in 5 days. To escape, she enters an alternate reality where she has to collect 5 objects before getting caught by some gnarly dude. She’s joined by her inmates as her imagination helps her make way in real life only to have the lines blurred. If there’s not a massive honey-drenched nude wrestling match in this, I will take umbrage, Mr. Snyder. Vanessa Hudgens‘ casting kind of throws me off, but then I see Carla Gugino and Jena Malone and all is well. You better bring it Vanessa, and not in that cheerleader kind of way either.
11. Drive Angry
Studio: Summit Entertainment
Director: Patrick Lussier (The Eye, My Bloody Valentine, Scream)
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Kaley Cuoco, Amber Heard, Katy Mixon
Scheduled Release Date: 2/11/2011
Nic Cage channels his Gone With 60 Seconds and Ghost Riders skills to chase down the dicks who terminated his daughter. Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco, Pineapple Express pretty little peach Amber Heard, and Eastbound & Down’s Katy Mixon provide you with eye candy so you don’t go all road rage on someone after the lights come on in the theater. Flick is sure to be a combination of 1975′s Death Race 2000 and 2007′s Grindhouse: Death Proof. You know that feeling you get in Grand Theft Auto when you’re kinda sick of trying to accomplish missions so you just gank the closest car and mow down as many pedestrians as possible? Prepare to see Nic Cage lose patience and enjoy the ride.
10. The Night Chronicles: Devil
Studio: Universal Pictures
Director: Drew Dowdle & John Erick Dowdle
Cast: Geoffrey Arend, Bojan Novakovic, Caroline Dhavernas, Chris Messina, Jacob Vargas
Scheduled Release Date: 2/11/2011
Not only does the Devil Wear Prada but he also takes many shapes and sizes; Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled, Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate, Harvey Keitel in Little Nicky, Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick, Peter Stormare (nihilist in Big Lebowski, goon in Fargo) in Constantine, and Gabriel Byrne in End of Days. The list goes on and on. So, with a story from M. Night Shyamalan about a group of people trapped an elevator who discover one of them is the devil, you have to figure there’s some kind of ridiculous twist. Like they’re all devils. And the guy who thinks he’s the devil is really God. Or the socialite’s chihuahua is an angel who must murder the innocents inside in order to prevent the devil from ever leaving hell. Or maybe the only food they have are devil dogs and the person who eats the last one becomes the Devil. Or maybe future Hall of Fame goalie Martin Brodeur from the New Jersey Devils is… M. Night Shyamalan.
9. X-Men: First Class
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass, Layer Cake)
Cast: Aaron Johnson, James McAvoy
Scheduled Release Date: 6/3/2011
Out of all the Origins stories Marvel could tell in the X-Men franchise, I’m not too keen on Professor Wheelchair and Magnet Man. We saw a glimpse of Magneto’s origins in the first X-Men and I don’t exactly remember Sir Charles X ever getting the back story treatment. Matt Vaughn, who directed cult favorite Kick-Ass (that already has a sequel announced), will helm this project and it’s rumored his male lead in Kick-Ass Aaron Johnson will play Magneto while Wanted’s James McAvoy takes time out of his schedule to stop bending bullets with his gun and starts bending bullets with his mind. Mind control versus metal control. Mental vs. Metal. Brian vs. Bronze. Come to think of it, I’m getting more and more pumped with these opponents. I personally enjoyed seeing the evolution of Wolverine and Sabertooth from brothers to mortal enemies, but that deconstruction was muscle-backed physicality whereas this is more of high octane chess game.
8. Rise of the Apes
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Rupert Wyatt
Cast: James Franco
Scheduled Release Date: 6/24/2011
The prequel to Planet of the Apes will feature James Franco as a genetic engineer whose work on the cure for Alzheimer’s leads to an inter-species battle for global dominance. I’ve always wondered what the hyper evolved and intelligent Planet of the Apes apes think of a gorilla like Amy from the movie Congo. Like is she considered to be the Timmy from South Park or Corky from Life Goes On? I saw Tim Burton’s remake of Planet of the Apes with Mark Wahlberg and Helena Bonham Carter in the theaters and I dug it when the leader of the funky bunch wasn’t panting and breathing heavily every scene. Who would you have in a nostril flaring contest – Franco or Wahlberg? Say hi to your mother for me.
7. Battle: Los Angeles
Director: Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning)
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriquez, Michael Pena, Bridget Moynahan
Scheduled Release Date: 2/18/2011
This real-time war movie about a marine platoon’s defense against an alien invasion has been described as “Black Hawk Down meets Independence Day”. Sign. Me. Up. Tell me the soundtrack is Rage Against the Machine‘s Battle of Los Angeles and I’ll pay you for two tickets right now. The movie is based on a mysterious event that happened in Los Angeles during World War II in which the US military spotted UFOs and shot some down then blamed it on Al Qaeda or something. The event was labeled as a “false alarm” with “war nerves” used as an excuse for unleashing absolute hellfire on some weather balloons. As anyone ever seen a weather balloon? I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those suckers, you get yer ass split by military grade weaponry.
Studio: Universal Pictures
Director: Jon Favreau (Iron Man 1 & 2, Elf)
Cast: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell
Scheduled Release Date: 7/29/2011
Based on the graphic novel series of the same name, this sci-fi western focuses on what happens when seven strangers are picked to live in-house and have their lives taped, when they stop being polite and start getting real. No, actually, it’s what happens when aliens land in mid-1800s Arizona aiming to take over the world and end up dealing with Lone Rangers, Sundance Kids, Wild Bills, Roy Rogers, Fighting Illini, Braves, and the Tribe. This is like the David vs. Goliath of primitive versus advanced civilizations. This exquisite dish has all the right ingredients for blockbuster pie with a healthy chunks of James Bond (Daniel Craig), some Han Solo / Indiana Jones seasoning (Harrison Ford), and a squirt or five of hot (possibly alien) Olivia Wilde Wilde West.
5. James Cameron Presents: Sanctum 3D
Studio: Universal Pictures
Director: Alister Grierson (5 movies I’ve never heard of but I’m sure they’re good)
Cast: Richard Roxburgh, Alice Parkinson, Rhys Wakefield, Dan Wyllie, Christopher Baker, Ioan Gruffudd
Scheduled Release Date: 3/11/2011
Anything with James Cameron’s name attached to it is going to make straight cash homey. You could release “James Cameron Presents Rectum” in 3-D and it could be just a toilet bowl shot of him taking a dump and it would gross $700 million worldwide. Hey folks, 3D’s been around for a while but you put out once blockbuster in that format and every Tom, Dick, and Harry Connick, Jr wants to follow suit. James opted not to his present his bunghole, instead he offers up a father and son expedition team that deep sea dive into “the least accessible cave system in the world” only to encounter life-threatening crises. Just slip the bouncer a $20 and offer to buy a bottle or two. That should take care of it.
4. Captain America: The First Avenger
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Director: Joe Johnston (The Wolfman, Hidalgo, Jurassic Park III, Jumanji, The Rocketeer)
Cast: Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Hugo Weaving, Tommy Lee Jones, Stanley Tucci, Hugo Weaving
Scheduled Release Date: 7/22/2011
The jury’s still out on Chris Evans as superhero just as it is for Ryan Reynolds. These actors are known for their quirky expressions and comedic chops, so to take them seriously as saviors is, well, going to take a heroic effort. I mean, when he saves the woman I fully expect him either rip a fart or sneeze on her. In case you’re unfamiliar with the Admiral USA story, it follows a soldier who’s discharged from military service and decides to volunteer for a top-secret research project, which ultimately turns him into the red, white, and blue brute you see to the left. America’s taken a real bad rap of late, so maybe this will turn the world’s POV around. I mean, I think even America hates America at this point. Should be nice to see a little pro-USA propaganda again. Joe Johnston’s track record is suspect, but it’s hard to f up a film with Samuel L. Jackson and Tommy Lee Jones.
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Director: Kenneth Branagh (1996′s Hamlet, 1994′s Frankenstein, 1993′s Much Ado About Nothing, 1989′s Henry V)
Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Rene Russo
Scheduled Release Date: 5/6/2011
I’m not comic book nerd, probably because I got ripped off on a bogus copy of Superman when I was in 6th grade, but, to me, Captain America ranks above Thor in popularity and awareness, yet this release seems to be hyped more. The movie poster alone gets the blood flowing. Kenneth Branagh as director? Interesting choice. He’s mostly helmed Shakesperean remakes, which I’d watch to skip reading the books/plays, but if he can bring that fiery acting intensity to a Hollywood blockbuster overflowing with CGI and special effects, you might be looking at the best Marvel pic of the bunch. If you’re only exposure to Thor is “Adventures in Babysitting” then you should probably know Thor is “a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war.” As punishment, he’s sent to Earth where he battles the most dangerous villain in the world, Spencer Pratt.
2. Super 8
Studio: Paramount
Director: J.J. Abrams (Lost, Cloverfield)
Cast: None announced. Not even rumored! SICK!!
Scheduled Release Date: 2011
I have a confession to make. I want to have J.J. Abrams’ baby. Yes, this even comes after the clusterf*ck that was the Lost finale. I lost days, weeks, and months at a time at work trying to figure out what the HELL Cloverfield was. I never watched Alias but moving forward if you want me to watch something, throw his name out there. I’ll bite. Not convinced yet? Not a JJA fan? I have two words for you: Spiel Berg. That’s right, the man who molded my childhood will produce what is sure to give theater audiences simultaneous orgasms. In true Abrams fashion, he’s not letting cats any out of any bags. All beans will remain unspilled. The only elements confirmed are the setting (1979), the genre (sci-fi, supernatural, mystery), and this radtastic trailer:
1. The Hangover 2
Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Todd Phillips (Starsky & Hutch, Road Trip, Old School, Frat House, The Hangover)
Cast: Zach Galifinakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha
Scheduled Release Date: 5/26/2011
It doesn’t matter where I am, who I’m with, or what I’m doing, if I see “The Hangover” is on pay cable, basic cable, or a poster ad in the subway, I’m watching it all the way through to the end. I’ve been a fan of Todd Phillips ever since 2000′s “Road Trip” and it’s been a bucket list item of mine to have one unforgettable cameo in one of his movies. The entire main cast is confirmed to return and rumor is Zach Efron makes an appearance. Well, if Vanessa Hudgens can be in a Zack Snyder film, I don’t see why Zef can’t get absolutely abused in Hangover 2. I mean, he needs to be kicked, punched, spat on, vomited on, peed on, dragged through garbage, and pushed to the absolute limit of human suffering for the audience to get on board with him being in the film. Then, he saves the day (by sacrificing his life).
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