Seattle Dive Bar: Five Point Cafe
415 Cedar St
Seattle, WA 98121
2624 Commerce St
Dallas, TX 75226
Los Angeles Dive Bar: The Goat Hill Tavern
1830 Newport Blvd
Costa Mesa, CA 92627
New York Dive Bar: Welcome To The Johnson's
123 Rivington St
New York, NY 10002
Las Vegas Dive Bar: Dive Bar
3035 E. Tropicana Blvd , Suite E & F
Las Vegas, NV 89121
This bar is on this list because of the ridiculousness of their pretense. "Dive Bar - King of Bars". It's like when you tell the son of Ford Motor Co.'s CFO to create something "cool" or what "the kids will like" and he comes ups with a bar that has a really nice logo (Flames and Poker imagery) and serves filet mignon. I mean, I like that you have horrible live music, scheduled on the regular, but if "Dive Bar" is just a clever name, you suck at life. I'm just kidding, I don't like horrible live music - so provincial. On a side note, the bar is in the Walmart Shopping Center just off Tropicana, so you can bulk up on rollbacked Lamar Odom shirts for $0.88 after you get liquored up and it sounds like a good idea.
Portland Dive Bar: Shanghai Tunnel
211 SW Ankeny St
Portland, OR 97204-2706
Atlanta Dive Bar: Gravity Pub
1257 Glenwood Ave SE
Atlanta, GA 30316
San Francisco Dive Bar: Trad'r Sam
6150 Geary Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94121
Trad'r Sam makes this list because the last time I went here, I got blind drunk and couldn't make it back to my friend's house only 3 blocks away. I ended up taking two cabs and it took me three tries to find a roach motel that had a vacancy. The good news is that I got laid and free continental breakfast, the bad news is that the evening cost me an arm and a leg and I ended up on the other side of the city. Thank you 4 Scorpion Bowls. The best way to describe this place is that the owner was probably gay (tropical) in the early 1980's, but then got married and had some kids and decided to fund his 401k rather than reinvest some money into the bar's interior. This place is also great if you like not being able to lock the bathroom door and you still pay with cash. Rude bartenders too...but who cares? Everyone here is drunk.
San Jose Dive Bar: Tres Gringos
83 S 2nd St
San Jose, CA 95113
You know what the world doesn't need? Another beach-themed bar not even near the beach. Rule No1: Straw awnings do not belong indoors.However the main reason why Tres Gringos is on this list is because they are able to bring a Mexican Dive bar straight out of spring break and into the nerdiest city in the world. It is even complete with a taco stand at the front, and plenty of taco resembling puke at the bathrooms in the back. The other reason it is on this list is the seriousness with which Beer Pong is both played and administered here. Beer Pong which normally belongs in the basements of fraternities and binge drinkers, is now brought into the public sector and it is drunken gold. The chaos after a few hours of beerpong at a bar on wednesday nights is unprecidented. If you are the kind of person looking for a few sips on a martini while chatting about how the nasdaq dropped 3 points, you'll probably want to steer clear.
Houston Dive Bar: The Proletariat
903 Richmond Ave
Houston, TX 77006
This bar is a hipster mainstay, and a douchebag-who-thinks-he's-cool-mecca. Yeah bad service and bad environment were cool, like 5 years ago. In Los Angeles or New York. But Houston? Just go on and become that rancher that you were supposed to be. The next Elliott Smith is coming from the above cities, not Texas. People like me go to to Texas to eat ribs and ride mechanical bulls, so please figure out a way to live up to our expectations. Also, this bar looks like its about to fall apart, is super smoky, the black walls are disgusting and now I kind of want to go there and get in a fight, have a one-night stand, and maybe even break a bottle over someone's emo kid's head.
Chicago Dive Bar: Matchbox
770 N Milwaukee Ave
Chicago, IL 60622
Miami Dive Bar: Zeke's Roadhouse
25 Lincoln Rd
Miami Beach, FL 33139
Austin Dive Bar: Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon
5434 Burnet Rd
Austin, TX 78756
Ahh, Texas: Seedy, Racist, Loud and Raucous. Make sure you visit Ginny's on Chicken Shit Sundays. They convert a pool table into a giant bingo card and cage a chicken on top of it. Bar patrons are invited to buy numbers, and when the chicken shits on all 5 of your numbers, you win $100. This takes place every Sunday. Every other night of the week there is live (shitty) music. Good, cheap beer doesn't make up for the fact that I could care less if Texas were to secede from the U.S. This bar recently won an award for Austin's Best Budget Date Spot 2008.
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