10 Greatest Prison Escape Movies of all Time

From: http://www.popcrunch.com/

Prison break movies are always fun to watch, whether the escapes are made by Allied POWs or just common criminals. It appeals to the subversive side of human nature to see a convict stick it to the system and run free, especially one who the audience knows doesn’t deserve to be locked up in the first place.

Prison break films are very adaptable and can be written to coincide with many different genres, including thrillers, adventure movies and even comedies (as fans of Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times will know). Here we list the ten best jailbreak and POW escape movies of all time.

10. Papillon

The odd, trippy prison break movie that is Papillon stars Steve McQueen as a petty crook who is exiled to the infamous penal colony on Devil’s Island in French Guiana, where existence is a hell of scorching weather, dangerous animals and hideous disease. When your first day starts with hiding a metal cylinder full of money up your ass, you know you aren’t at summer camp… The movie chronicles the protagonist’s many escape attempts over the course of his 14-year sentence, as McQueen goes from… well… Steve McQueen in 1973 to a used-up, white-haired, broken-toothed old man — a bit like The Shawshank Redemption but with fewer posters of actresses to hide the tunnels behind. McQueen does a great job as the title character and absolutely dominates every scene he appears in, despite the formidable acting talent surrounding him (co-star Dustin Hoffman, for example). The dangerous cliff-jumping stunt performed during Papillon’s final escape attempt is also a milestone in cinema. A classic convict film.

9. Midnight Express

A grim and sometimes ultra-violent movie, Midnight Express tells the true story of US citizen Billy Hayes, a real-life figure who made the huge mistake of being caught smuggling hashish out of Istanbul. The would-be drug dealer ends up incarcerated for five years in a Turkish prison, one that turns out to make HBO’s Oz look like a kid’s playpen. The movie is tensely directed (especially at the beginning when the protagonist is trying to take the drugs past customs), and the twist in which Hayes finally manages to escape through sheer luck (after almost getting into serious trouble with the guard) is brilliantly done. Despite the criticism the movie received for its depiction of the Turkish penal system, if you want a real horror story about what can happen when you carry drugs in a foreign country this is definitely your film.

7. Holes

Based on a novel by Louis Sachar, Holes is the story of a wrongly convicted teenage boy sent to a camp in the desert where children are forced to endlessly dig the titular “holes,” day in and day out. This is one movie guaranteed to make you feel hot and tired just watching it… Unlike most Disney adaptations, Holes manages to keep the grittiness and “magical realism” (read: strangeness) of the original book intact, and it also features a hilariously repulsive performance from Jon Voight as the cowboy counselor, Mr. Sir. About the only bad thing you can say about Holes is that it introduced the world to the acting of Shia LaBeouf, who was fine in this movie but should now just go and get trodden on by a big CGI robot already.

7. The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)

The 2000s version of Alexandre Dumas’ classic revenge story, The Count of Monte Cristo upped the swashbuckling action while keeping the Bonaparte era intrigue which made the original such a timeless classic. The plot involves naval officer, Edmond Dantès (the titular Count) being betrayed by his friend, Fernand Mondego, and his imprisonment and eventual escape from the dreaded island prison of Chateau d’If. Although this is a period drama of a prison movie, Dante uses the classic POW method to get out: a tunnel under the wall. The movie was hailed by critics as a refreshing return to un-ironic adventure films, after an endless string of more self-aware movies like 1998’s The Man in the Iron Mask. It’s amazing that new audiences can still be introduced to one of the original prison break stories more than 150 years after it was created.

6. La Grande Illusion

“A film about the war where you don’t see any fighting or spying” (a quote from the trailer) may not sound promising for one of the great masterpieces of French cinema, but this story of class, ethnicity and politics told through the lives of POWs in a WWI German prison is a classic for a reason. The movie was controversial when it was released for its anti-war message and, for the time, shocking content, which included soldiers discussing STDs and prostitutes (although modern viewers are more likely to notice some of the frankly homoerotic scenes between the prisoners). There are especially heartbreaking moments during the French prisoners’ escape as the head of the German camp is forced to choose between his respect for the head officer of the prisoners and his duty to his country. La Grande Illusion also has the distinction of having been considered subversive by both the French and the Germans in WWII.

5. Escape to Victory

Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone in the same movie? A soccer movie, even? It sounds like something Caine would have made during his bad old “throw me money and I’ll appear in anything” days, but Escape to Victory is actually a surprisingly decent film. (Very) loosely based on true events, the movie is about a group of WWII POWs and their plan to play a soccer match against their Nazi captors and escape during the game. Despite the distraction of Stallone’s giant, hammy facial expressions, which seem to fill the entire screen at times, most of the film is well put together. There are two really brilliant scenes: the French crowd singing “La Marseillaise” in defiance at the Germans, and the team refusing take the chance to escape in the hopes of winning the game. It’s just like the British to put soccer over everything else, even winning WWII…

4. Stalag 17

Made just eight years after the end of WWII, this film about American airmen interned in a POW camp is now considered an all-time classic. The plot concerns a group of servicemen attempting to survive while doing time, and the efforts of one of them to help a rich prisoner escape and deal with a “stoolie” (the unfortunate WWII name for a spy) who is determined to thwart their plan to break free. For a fairly funny war movie it boasts some impressive acting, with an Academy Award-winning performance from William Holden. Famously, Holden’s acceptance speech for his award was cut to just two words, “Thank you,” due to time constrains. The frustrated star was forced to take out full-page ads in Hollywood magazines in order to thank all of the people he wasn’t able to during his speech (presumably dozens, knowing Oscars speeches…).

3. Escape from Alcatraz

The granddaddy of prison break movies, Escape from Alcatraz starred Clint Eastwood on top form as grizzled master criminal Frank Morris. Imprisoned on the impenetrable island, Morris has a series of clashes with Patrick McGoohan’s smug warden while, as the title suggests, he attempts to escape from Alcatraz. Eastwood tends to play hard-to-like, anti-heroic characters whose only real redeeming trait is that the people they go up against are worse. As here, Clint’s a bank robber trying to break out of a legitimate prison, this is another situation where we really shouldn’t be on the man’s side, but you just have to respect him for his sheer balls. Who but Dirty Harry could break out of jail with a papier-mâché dummy and a spoon? Awesome.

2. The Shawshank Redemption

The Shawshank Redemption has been described as the best film made in the last few decades, and it’s consistently at the head of IMDBs “top 250 films” list as voted for by the public. It’s mostly a good movie but not quite as good as the hype — no film could be. The bad guys are a bit cartoonish. Morgan Freeman’s voiceovers range from inspiring to annoying, and Tim Robbins’ protagonist, Andy Dufresne, is pretty much a blank slate. Yet it’s definitely 100% worth watching for at least one reason: Dufresne’s escape is one of the best executed and most surprising ending in cinema history. It’s unusual for a twist in that it’s not been thrown in for shock value, but is genuinely meaningful and makes the rest of the movie’s message about hope much, much more powerful in retrospect. See it (if for some reason you haven’t) and be sure to bring some tissues for the manly tears…

1. The Great Escape

Most prison and POW movies are very introverted at heart: they are about people struggling against the system, people struggling against their own weaknesses, people struggling with the loneliness of being a convict… That’s why it’s so refreshing that The Great Escape managed to take a true story of a bunch of POWs tunneling out of a WWII era camp and turn it into a full-blown adventure movie instead (though admittedly one with a depressing ending in which practically all the prisoners are all recaptured or killed). From Steve McQueen jumping the wire in an attempt to escape his motorcycle-mounted guards, to the awesome theme music, to the great culture clash scenes in the prison between the American and British prisoners, the movie is full to bursting with great lines and classic moments. Along with the Indiana Jones series, The Great Escape helped to define what fun movie-watching is meant to be about.

World's poshest prison? Cells with en-suite bathrooms and no window bars (plus £1m Banksy-style art)

By Mail Foreign Service

From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

It's the ultimate prison break for murderers and rapists - en-suite bathrooms, £1million Banksy-style art and even windows without bars.

That's the 'hard-time' waiting for some of Norway's most dangerous criminals in the new purpose built £15 million Halden Prison.

The jail took 10 years to build and has been touted to be the most humane in the world for its 252 inmates.

Home away from home: One of the private cells at Norway's new Halden Prison - which appears to be nicer than most university dormitory rooms

It's the end of 'dropping the soap' jokes with these posh en-suite bathrooms for inmates at the new £15million prison

Prison authorities claim the luxury environment of the 75-acre site helps reduce the country's already very low crime rate.

Each inmate gets a private cell with mini-fridge, flat-screen TV and even a private en-suite bathroom and barless windows - because they let in more sunlight.

Then for every 12 to 15 rooms there is a top-notch kitchen with stainless steel work tops and lounge areas complete with IKEA-style sofas and coffee tables.

To cap-off their stay at Halden, the pampered prisoners can even enjoy a gym - complete with rock-climbing wall - a music studio and luxury library.

Keeping prisoners healthy: The rock-climbing wall and basketball nets in the new gym at the prison

Banksy-style: A £1million mural in the prison courtyard by Norwegian street artist Dolk

Architect Hans Henrik Hoilund admitted Halden holds some of Norway's most dangerous prisoners but - believes its design means they don't re-offend.

He said: 'The most important thing is that the prison looks as much like the outside world as possible.

'To avoid an institutional feel, exteriors are not concrete but made of bricks, galvanized steel and larch; the buildings seem to have grown organically from the woodlands.

'And while there is one obvious symbol of incarceration - a 20-foot concrete security wall along the prison's perimeter - trees obscure it.

'And it's top has been rounded off, so it isn't too hostile.'

A jail cell corridor in the new prison - where half the guards are female as it is believed this decreases aggression

The landscaped prison grounds surrounding the institution

The Norwegian Banksy-style artist Dolk was also hired to paint a £1million mural on the prison wall showing a prisoner in striped uniform using a ball and chain as a shot put.

Halden opened it's doors officially last month, taking in the first batch of inmates. Prison governor Are Hoidal said there have been no escape attempts.

He said: 'In the Norwegian prison system, there's a focus on human rights and respect.

'We don't see any of this as unusual.

'When they arrive many of them are in bad shape and we want to build them up, give them confidence through education and work and have them leave as better people.'

Halden also features jogging trails in nearby woods and a freestanding two-bedroom house where inmates can host their families during overnight visits.

In Norway only 20 per cent of prisoners end up back in jail after release, compared to between 50 and 60 per cent in the UK.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1277158/Halden-Prison-Inside-Norways-posh-new-jail.html#ixzz0npeFMERz

15 Impressive Creative Works Made In Prison

From: http://blog.koldcast.tv/
By: By B.Z.

As long as there has been civilization, there has been crime, and it’s up to the police to help bring criminals to justice and stick them where they belong. Jail, prison, house arrest…it doesn’t matter to a good cop, just as long as they’re off the streets. The hard-edged cops in our new series “Central Division” know a thing or two about throwing the bad guys in the joint. But what happens to the perps once they’re behind bars? A few enterprising inmates use their scant resources and overflowing free time to create fascinating works of art. Here are a few of our favorites. And remember: Don’t mess with the law, or you might have to find some new hobbies.

1. The Sailor

Most inmate art logically depicts the artist’s feeling toward the very concept of incarceration. Perhaps dreaming of an escape, this inmate hand-painted an idyllic sailing scene on an administration-building window at the Montana State Prison.

2. The Courtyard Mural

Sometimes prison artwork is a collaborative effort. Several inmates contributed to transforming a wall of Australia’s Fremantle Prison courtyard into a beautiful mural.

3. The Fiery Horizon

Shortly before it closed in 1990, Fremantle allowed prisoners to decorate the walls of their cells. This inmate mainly used black, yellow and red for a fiery sunset effect.

4. The Micro Cell

Using popsicle sticks and other odd items found within the prison walls, this inmate created a miniature cell. The attention to detail is stunning, from the tiny bunk beds to the miniature toilet.

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5. The Makeshift Postcard

Because they have limited access to art supplies, prisoners often have to get creative with the materials they use to create their work. Even a mailing envelope can serve as a blank canvas.

6. The Pin-Up

It helps to have an artistic eye when your resources are limited. Using pre-existing cracks in his cell wall, this prisoner created a detailed portrait of a woman.

7. Dinner And A Mural

At quick glance, it may look like someone hung a painting, but this landscape portrait was actually scrawled over the tiles in the cafeteria of the West Virginia State Penitentiary in Moundsville.

8. The Wall Bible

Many inmates use their time behind bars to grow spiritually. This illustration from a cell in a New Mexico state prison is evidence that, even when a hard copy of the Bible is not available, a cell wall can become one.

9. The Spanish Lady

It takes a lot of talent to draw on just about any surface, but the attention to detail in the illustration scrawled onto this rough surface in a Madrid prison is particularly impressive.

10. A Car On Crack

Where most people would only see a cracked wall, some inmates see a blank canvas. Here, prisoners from Costa Rica’s San Lucas Island Prison made innovative use of the cracks in a wall to create a surprisingly realistic illustration of a car.

11. Stained Glass, Prison Style

Most prison chapels lack the ornamentation of a more traditional church. But inmates of a prison on the coast of French Guiana took matters into their own hands, painting this beautiful mural on the wall of theirs.

12. The Cavity Search

This wall illustration, found in the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp in WWII Germany, has more than one meaning. Cartoon vegetables represent the kitchen in which the painting resided, but also depicted is the humiliating cavity search that all incoming inmates had to endure.

13. Mini Log Cabin

The most ideal art projects for prisoners are those that will help pass time. This miniature log cabin, built by an inmate in Louisiana’s notorious Angola Prison, undoubtedly fits that bill; it must have been quite labor-intensive.

14. The Wood Train

Renato Norelli made this train during a “lockdown,” and his cellmate did all the painting and chose the color scheme. Knowing how limited inmate artists are, this astoundingly detailed train is all the more impressive.

15. The Wood Chopper

Miniature versions of large-scale objects certainly seem to be a trend among artistic prisoners due to extra down time and limited materials. Using only wood, Larry Sabo crafted a finely detailed miniature motorcycle. It’s going for $240 at prisonart.org.

Rather not find out whether you’d make a good prison artist? Well, it’s hard to catch a criminal who thinks like a cop, so keep watching “Central Division” and start thinking like a damn good one.

Lady Gaga's New Music Video Tackles Penis Rumor, Lesbian Prison Babes

From: http://gawker.com/

Lady Gaga's Telephone music video, which premieres tonight, shows the Lady of Gah tackling her penis rumor with burly prison lesbians who rip her clothes off and mutter, "I told you she didn't have a dick."

As Lady Gaga attempts to dispel one rumor (hermaphrodite) with another (lesbian with Beyonce) our quest for pop culture's Loch Ness Monster continues.

Ambling into a recklessly stylish, diamond-studded women's prison (perhaps the one from Chicago, where stiletto heels are not security hazards) Gaga is flanked by a pair of butch prison guards, one of whom later surfs some kind of lesbian Manhunt knockoff called PlentyofFish.com (-4:50). They rip off her clothes and we are treated to a booty shot (-8:30) and the guards murmur, "I told you she didn't have a dick," and "Too bad." Indeed, later thong-clad gyrations boggle the mind. Where is she hiding her penis?

A deus ex machina of the phallus comes in the form of Beyonce, who bails Gaga out of prison in a pick-up truck labeled PUSSYWAGON. As Thelma and Louise of the dykes, they go Natural Born Killers (and Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill) on a diner. Here, we get a subliminal message explaining where the penis has gone. At -2:30, the camera zooms in on Beyonce's jerk boyfriend painstakingly slicing a big, greasy sausage. Suddenly everyone is choking on their food and dying, and B and Gaga run off together in happy, sexy bliss—for Lady Gaga has chopped off her penis.

That's right, Lady Gaga's penis is gone, sliced from her body to improve her ability to make puns about pussy with Beyonce. But you know what they say: Every time you cut off a hermaphrodite's penis, two grow in its place. The penis will be back, mark our words.

Send an email to Maureen O'Connor, the author of this post, at maureen@gawker.com.

Netherlands: Woman tunnels out of jail - using spoon

By Toby Green

A female prisoner at a jail in the Netherlands has escaped after using a spoon to tunnel her way out. File photo / Hawke's Bay Today

Tunnelling under the prison walls has long been a favourite method of breaking out of jail, but now one female convict in the Netherlands has managed to gain her freedom by digging herself out with a spoon.

The 35-year-old prisoner displayed her resourcefulness with cutlery to escape from a prison in the Dutch city of Breda, in the south of the country.

"She used a spoon to make the tunnel to escape on Sunday morning," Wim de Bruin, a spokesman for the Dutch Public Prosecution Service, said yesterday.

According to the Dutch public broadcaster NOS, the tunnel was dug not in the prisoner's room but in a cellar under the building's kitchen. A hatch was used to keep the escape route hidden.

It is also believed that the fugitive was abetted by one or more collaborators. They are thought to have helped the prisoner by working loose parts of the pavement outside the jail where the tunnel emerged.

At the time, the prisoner was reportedly being held in a special building where long-term inmates are kept in the run-up to their release.

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As a result they have more freedom than in the standard cells - something the woman in question took full advantage of.

The prisoner - who has not been named - "was sentenced because of a violent crime", Mr de Bruin added, although he would not confirm local media reports that she had been convicted of murder and still had 22 months of her sentence to serve.

Dutch police are still searching for her.

- INDEPENDENT

By Toby Green

Send California inmates to Mexico, says Schwarzenegger

From: http://news.yahoo.com/

AFP/Getty Images/File – The California Institution for Men prison is seen in Chino, California. A riot took place at the prison …

• Play Video Video:Schwarzenegger Eyes Sending Prisoners To Mexico CBS 5 San

SAN FRANCISCO (AFP) – Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger suggested California could ease its crowded prison system by sending thousands of undocumented inmates to specially built jails in Mexico.

Speaking to reporters at the Sacramento Press Club, Schwarzenegger said California could ease its strained finances by a billion dollars if 20,000 illegal immigrants currently held in the state were housed across the border.

"I think that we can do so much better in the prison system alone if we can go and take, inmates for instance, the 20,000 inmates that are illegal immigrants that are here and get them to Mexico," Schwarzenegger said.

"Think about it -- if California gives Mexico the money. Not 'Hey, you take care of them, these are your citizens'. No. Not at all.

"We pay them to build the prison down in Mexico. And then we have those undocumented immigrants down there in prison. It would half the costs to build the prison and run the prison. We could save a billion dollars right there that could go into higher education."

Schwarzenegger's remarks come as California prepares for the latest in a long line of state budget crises.

Schwarzenegger declared a fiscal emergency earlier this month, warning severe cuts were necessary to stem a 19.9-billion-dollar deficit.

California has some of the most overcrowded prisons in the United States, with an estimated 170,000 inmates housed in facilities designed for 100,000 people, according to 2007 figures.

Schwarzenegger said he believed the financial burden of California's prisons could be eased if the private sector moved into the industry.

"I think that there is no reason why we should have just state employees and public prisons," Schwarzenegger said. "Why shouldn't we have private prisons and private prisons competing with public prisons?

"I don't want to go and get rid of public prisons, not at all. It's not an attack on their labor union even though they may take it as such.

Prisoner dupes guards, grows pot in cell

From: http://www.upi.com/

PORTLAND, England, Dec. 7 (UPI) -- A British prisoner convinced guards his marijuana plants were tomato plants -- and they even allowed him to decorate one as a Christmas tree, a source said.

Mohamed Jalloh, 28, of Brent, North London, grew his pot plants at Verne Prison in Portland, Dorset, in southern England, and for five months, guards admired his gardening, The Sun reported Saturday.

But after another inmate told guards what the plants really were, they checked out photos of marijuana plants on the Internet, and the jig was up.

"You could see the plants from the grounds, as his cell looks on to the education department and communal outside area," a source said. "They were on show for the world to see."

Jalloh is serving eight years for supplying drugs.

© 2009 United Press International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

The Wonderful World of Prison Inventions

Someone once said that necessity is the mother of all invention. Prison is one of the few places where very few common wants and needs are fulfilled; resources are incredibly limited and ardently regulated. Prisoners, who are not content to only posses what "the man" tells them they can have, are forced to use their critical thinking skills (prison-genuity, anyone?) to craft what can be some very MacGyver type shit. As many of us know from experience, situations in prison sometimes call for something a little more intimidating than a whittled down toothbrush shiv, or a sharpened spoon. The following is a tribute to those not satisfied with the standard prison accommodations - we have The Wonderful World of Prison Inventions:

Basic Needs

Cigarette Lighter

Source

With cigarettes being the go-to currency of choice for prisoners (at least the movies would have you believe this), there wouldn't be much use for a smokable commodity if there was no way to light it. Prisoners are forbidden from having lighters and matches for obvious reasons, so some clever inmates have devised a way around the rules. This example of a lighter is a simple yet intelligent design, a AA battery is wrapped in duct tape with a wire strapped to the negative end. Simplly touch the other side of the wire to the positive end and the metal coil in the center of the wire heats up.

Tattoo Gun

Source

While your in prison, why not get a tattoo to commemorate " the time of your life", and there's also no better way of showing your commitment to what ever gang you choose to join while in the clink. The basic design uses any form of battery to power a small motor, which in turn pushes a needle in and out of a pen to give inmates authentic jailhouse tats. Sadly choice of colors is usually limited to whatever Bic's they have on hand and are typically blue or black. Beggars (Neo-Nazi's included) can't be choosers though.

Pipe

Source

Just because you got thrown in the slammer doesn't mean you might not get the occasional chance to enjoy some weed. Stoners, who are notorious for being able to shape a pipe out of anything litterally, occasionaly get locked up and are forced to use their skills on the inside. The above example is fashioned out of a tube of German horseradish and has a great design, not only because it functions well, but for the fact that it is very incognito in case of the occasional room toss. At a quick glance its really just looks like an ordinary tube of something. Genius, pure genius.

Weaponry

Hidden Shiv

Source

The sodomite, who thought he'd take advantage when he saw his roomate bent over kneeling in prayer, probably got a big surprise when this crucifix magically transformed into a very mean looking stabbing weapon.

Razor Comb

Source

Its hard to see in this picture, but there are three razor blades attached by copper wire and a shoelace, to this "unbreakable" plastic comb. This is the type of weapon to use for minor altercations such as Scrabble areguments, or getting that "creepy fucker" out of your favorite chair, but wouldn't be all that effective in a full blown shower fight. Truly a weapon for your day-to-day type needs.

Rash Knuckles

Source

This variation on brass knuckles works incredibly well for cutting faces and smashing motherfucking jaws, or, if your a fancy-pants, for adding a little fresh grated parmesan (Gene!) to the typically bland prison gourmet.

Whip/Cat-o-nine tails

Source

Nothing says foreplay like a few lashes from this bad boy. This invention works well because of it's lengthy reach and compact design, and is probably more of an intimidation tool rather than a lethal weapon. After all if someone approached you with a electrical taped shard of glass and you pull this out, they'll at least think twice before charging in.

Dummy Gun

Source

A dummy gun made to look exceptionally real works well for prison escapes because you can use it to take a hostage and at a distance it looks very much like the real thing. As long as whoever you are using this on thinks the gun is real it serves a funtional purpose.

Zip Gun

Source

A zip gun is a homemade gun that can either has a pin to fire real bullets, or like this one, to fire everyday projectiles. Strike anywhere match heads, or other combustibles, can be used as a charge to fling nuts, bolts, or rocks at lethal or near lethal speeds.

4 Barreled Zip Gun

Source

This is a variation on the zip gun that really shows complex, well thought out design. There are four barrels all loaded with a projectile, the end of the gun operates on a swivel that brings each barrel around to the firing pin, creating essentially a semi-automatic weapon. After all, doesn't everyone remember the old saying, "In the land of the shiv, the man with the 4 chambered zip gun is king"

Advanced Engineering

Alcohol Still Heating Coil

Source

The razorblades on the end of this modified extension cord act as a heater to be used for making alcoholic beverages. Just smuggle some fruit or other fermentable food back to the cell, drop in the heating coil, and voila! you have your own moonshine/whiskey still. This gets bonus points for also doubling as a weapon if someone tries to steal the fruits of your hard labor.

Salt & Pepper Shaker

Source

In prison, inmates have to go without even the most basic comforts such as a salt and pepper shaker. Poor guys, right? Well not for long... This advanced design shows thats some prisoners ("pussies", we call them on the outside) make items for everyday use, just to make them feel a little more normal - as opposed to only making weapons meant to kill fools who get caught steppin'.

Toaster/Heating Grill

Source

This is a grill that could be used for preparing food, and is fashioned from wire, tin foil, and a busted heating rod. Although it does show a great measure of ingenuity, the failure of the design is that it is rather large and easily confiscated by over zealous wardens who don't want anyone to have any fun.

Muff Bag

Source

Probably the biggest complaint and hardship for any prisoner is the lack of voluntary coitus to something that is or resembles a vagine, and if your doing a lifetime bid in the joint, even masturbation gets a bit dull after a while. More industrious prisoners have fashioned makeshift sex dolls, called "muffbags", to help cope with their carnal desires. It is simply a blanket, rolled tightly with some platic wrap complemented by some baby oil to lube it up. Sounds great, but i have to mention that the sex doll does bear an unmistakable like to an ass. Even in prison with a home made sex doll you cant get away from the anal sex stereotype. C'est la vie...