Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Mesa, AZ Arc

From: http://i.imgur.com/CmNAE.jpg

i.imgur.com

40 Years Later Charlie's Hiring Is Still Willy Wonka's Greatest Failure

Author: Mack Rawden
From: http://www.cinemablend.com/

Forty years ago, an eccentric genius with an impressive business acumen and a brilliant handle on sweets engineered one of the most ludicrous publicity schemes of all-time. A Howard Hughes-esque recluse for a portion of his life, Willy Wonka zealously guarded both himself and his factory of secrets until one day, he decided to find himself an heir and get obscenely rich in the process. To accomplish both of these goals, he hid five golden tickets inside candy bars and watched as chocolate-stained fingers forked over tens of millions of dollars for a peek inside his world of pure imagination.

It doesn’t take a Harvard Law Professor to deduce this might not have been the best way to go about hiring a CEO. Then again, it doesn’t take a degree in economics to deduce this may have been the greatest money-making strategy in history. Rich factory owners converted their plants into candy-opening stations. Rumors of false ticket finds propelled the streets into near anarchy, and all the while, Wilder’s Wonka likely sat inside his castle, piling money next to a trampoline and rolling around inside it like some fabulously wealthy raccoon.

In the end, an almost destitute child proved victorious. With a crazy old grandfather on his arm and a belly full of dreams, Charlie Bucket took his triumphant elevator ride and plotted his future. Admittedly, it’s a nice little rags-to-riches story, but it’s time we forecasted a bit into the future. What the hell will his succession mean for the future of the candy conglomerate? Does Willy Wonka even care that Charlie Bucket doesn’t know a damn thing about running a global empire? He might try to teach him, sure, but there’s no telling whether any of that knowledge will stick. He should have looked harder at other options. He didn’t have to pick Charlie. In fact, I’d argue he shouldn’t have picked Charlie. Here’s an ordered list of who I would have given the factory to…

willy wonka

10) Mike Teavee With an idiot box obsession and a propensity to try things without thinking through the consequences, Mike Teavee would likely run Wonka’s empire like that idiot who owns the shoe company on Parenthood. Plus, there’s no telling how small he’d willfully shrink himself if given unlimited access to that James Bond villain ray gun he miniaturized himself with the first time around. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, this mouth breather is hopeless. Apart from his eagerness to try new things which could result in a few unconventional products, I see no positives with passing the mantle on to Mike Teavee. He was bred to be a multi-divorced, low-level cog in a poorly run service industry department, and if promoted above his station, his cap guns would tarnish anything they fired at.

willy wonka

9) Veruca Salt Veruca Salt is quite possibly the most selfish piece of shit ever mistakenly birthed. She stomps her feet more than a tap dancer, crosses her arms more than a bouncer and screams more than an unattended infant. She’s never held down a job, made real friends or filtered a comment in her life. If left to her own devices, she would absolutely implode Wonka’s operation faster than Mike Teavee, but she gets the nod ahead of that moron because I am 100% positive she would put the company in someone else’s hands. A busy princess like this can’t be bothered to run the show herself, at least not while there’s still people left to act like a cunt toward. I even contemplated putting her higher since no one’s ever taken down a Fortune 500 company while tanning, but I’m not sure what the situation is with corporate credit cards inside the Wonka factory. Something tells me Veruca’s incapable of knowing what counts as a work-related expense.

willy wonka

8) Augustus Gloop What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats? Your fat ass stuck in the chocolate shoot apparently. This pudgy preteen may lack common sense and social interaction skills, but he does know a tasty snack when he tries it. Let me ask you a question. Let’s say you want to go out to dinner and gorge yourself on ribs. You’ve been craving that succulent deliciousness for weeks, but you have no idea where to go. Friend one, a three hundred pound glutton who constantly obsesses over food, tells you he knows the best rib joint in town. Friend two, a one hundred twenty-three pound female who frequently raves about Wheat Thins, tells you she also knows a place. Who’s advice are you going to take? Obviously the fat dude’s. That’s the logic behind why Augustus ends up eighth. He has nothing practical to offer except his propensity to eat, but at this point on the list, we’re still choosing the less awful.

willy wonka

7) Violet Beauregarde I know like two facts about Violet Beauregarde. She chews gum, and she hates that bitch Cornelia Prinzmetel. The gum chewing doesn’t have any bearing on running a business, but the willingness to step on her opponent’s throat no matter what certainly does. You think this cutthroat would bat an eyelash at running Ma and Pa chocolate maker out of business? I doubt it. She’s like Wal-Mart’s business model condensed and jammed into a four foot three inch package. Besides, unlike Mike Teavee and Augustus Gloop, I’m pretty positive she’s not stupid enough to get hoisted by the same candy petard. If only she could direct that pent-up rage into progressive trade policies. I’m not hopeful, but I can imagine a world in which Violet could effectively run a business. Then again, I can also imagine one where she’s pulling some rival mother’s hair at her son’s U-10 soccer game. Go get her, Violet.

willy wonka

6) Grandpa Joe Bring up Grandpa Joe in casual conversation and you’re likely to hear someone say, “Ohh, that nice old man Charlie brought on the tour?” He’s definitely older than Abraham and he did go on the tour, but nice is categorically the wrong adjective to describe Grandpa Joe. History has somehow been rewritten to let this geezer off the hook. The fact of the matter is this blowhard laid in bed day and night for years while his family struggled to feed itself. Sure, he talked about removing his wrinkled and lazy ass from under those sheets, but when it came time to get a job, he sulked and laid back down next to the three other apathetic bums. Hopped up on adrenaline from the realization that his legs still worked, he made it through the tour, but there’s no telling the awfulness his body is going to feel the next morning. Plus, can you really count on this guy to outlive Willy Wonka? I’m not even confident he can live through the night.

5) Charlie Bucket Enthusiastic to learn and chock-full of morals, you could do a lot worse than Charlie Bucket, but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend he’s Warren Buffet. He has no experience in managing assets. The one time he actually had disposable income ( that he found on the ground), he immediately spent it on chocolate despite the fact that his family is Southern Reconstruction level poor. During the tour, he needlessly and with full knowledge of what he was doing, disobeyed an order from Willy Wonka after he saw what happened to the other kids, and don’t even get me started on his lack of schmoozing abilities. His only friend is his own grandfather who lazes in bed all day and his lack of assertiveness won’t get him anywhere dealing with investors. I’d pay him fifteen bucks to mow my grass, but I certainly would not hand him the keys to a business.

willy wonka

4) Sam Beauregarde I don’t trust this asshole at all. He’s slippery and kind of pathetic looking, but I do appreciate his gusto for shamelessly promoting himself. He turned his own daughter’s press conference into a free commercial, and he’s always eager to tell anyone listening he’s a local politician and prominent civic leader. Do I think he could handle the responsibilities of a dessert empire? Hell no, but he would at least give it a go. Everyone lower than Sam Beauregarde is comically inept. He’s just plain inept, which means with the right team of advisors and a bit of luck, he could do a below-average job. He’s the guy who gets promoted for a year or so until the powers that be decide it’s in everyone’s best interests to return him to his old job. He’s Michael Scott. Great salesman, below-meh boss. There’s other people I’d choose ahead of Sam, but none I’d more like to give a sitcom to.

willy wonka

3) Henry Salt Now, I know what you’re going to say. This douche bag can’t even manage his own daughter. Very true. He has no handle on that brat Veruca, but overseeing a business and overseeing a family are not mutually exclusive. How many rich and powerful men have daughters who marry lowlifes or sons who turn into drug addicts? He’s already the perfect example of that. His daughter owns four mink coats, and he turned his entire factory into an Easter Egg hunting station to please her. You know why he can do that? Because he owns and operates a successful business that’s clearly taking in hundred dollar bills hand over fist. Unless he inherited it from his father, which I don’t think is mentioned, Henry Salt started an operation from the ground up and built it into a well-oiled machine offering society some type of desirable good. I don’t care what percentage of his own salary he’d spend on buying his wife and daughter more useless shit. That’s his personal life. He can fuck that up all he wants. We’re taking this from a business standpoint, and I’d put my money on him a hell of a lot faster than I would these aforementioned clowns.

willy wonka

2) The Oompa-Loompas How long do Oompas live anyway? Are they on human years or dog years? And what’s the reproductive situation? There’s no female Oompas in the movie. Do they have a clear leader? I’m definitely not endorsing some sort of fucked-up communist arrangement here. All of these questions would need to be answered before I officially signed off on the Loompas, but I appreciate their work ethic and clear willingness to laugh at the misfortune of others. I also like that they toil endlessly in exchange for cocoa beans and move large objects in packs, a lot like ants. Plus, the transition of power would be almost completely seamless and guards could be posted on the doors to prevent against Vermicious Knid attack. Goddamn vermicious knids…

willy wonka

1) Arthur Slugworth As far as we know, Arthur Slugworth (real name Wilkinson) is Willy Wonka’s only human employee. He trusts him enough to test each of the children on whether or not they’ll sell the Everlasting Gobstopper secret, and the two seem to share a close and joyful relationship. Doesn’t it seem like this CEO job should have been his to lose? Am I missing something here? Is he mentally-disabled? Does he have lupus? Slugworth seems like the Tom Hagen of Willy Wonka’s world. I understand why you might not want him to rule forever, but he should be at least the transition guy between Wonka and his heir. After screwing him out of the job that’s rightfully his, Wonka should be worried about him selling the company’s secrets. Hey Arthur, you’re not getting my job, but I do need you to go test random twelve year olds to see how competent they would be. What a slap in the face.

Who do you think Willy Wonka should have given his empire to? Tell us in the poll below, and then, for vermicious knid’s sake, go watch Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.

Also check out the cast 40 years later: http://www.pocketburgers.com/2011/05/cast-of-willy-wonka-chocolate-factory.html

The Dark Knight Rises Teaser Poster Suggests Gotham Will Crumble

Author: Sean O'Connell
From: http://www.cinemablend.com/

With Comic-Con around the corner (the fest overruns San Diego July 21-24), fans can expect a flood of superhero-related news items to spread across the Internet as studios line up future tentpoles and kick start viral marketing campaigns. And even though Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises isn’t expected to have much of a presence at the convention, the anticipated sequel just made a pre-Con splash by tossing a teaser poster into the mix.

Check it out the first ever Dark Knight Rises poster below:

It’s bleak. And it’s not just the washed out, black-and-white tones. It appears to suggest that major skyscrapers in Gotham are crumbling to the ground … a stark contrast to bright lights and bustle that was reflected in posters for The Dark Knight. Either that or massive pieces of popcorn are popping in Gotham. Maybe Bane (Tom Hardy) and Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) have a delicious scheme cooked up for the Caped Crusader?

Speaking of the announced antagonists, they’re noticeably absent from this teaser poster. Some of the best marketing for The Dark Knight gave us glimpses of Heath Ledger in his Joker outfit, working his bloody smile into the imagery. It immediately created a memorable image that this poster doesn’t quite convey. Bonus points for working the Bat signal into the design, though. Look closely, and you’ll see.

Hopefully we’ll get even more in the teaser trailers that are supposed to be attached to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 this weekend. And then there’s always Comic-Con, where Warner could continue to generate buzz for a sequel that doesn’t really need it.

Now it's 4D film: The high-tech cinemas which will make you feel sick, damp... and punched

By Daily Mail Reporter
From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
Hollywood is converting blockbuster films into 4-D because cinemagoers are shunning pricey multi-dimensional 3-D versions

But the experience has left some fans feeling sick, damp and pummeled after watching movies like Kung Fu Panda 2 and the latest Pirates of the Caribbean box-office hit.

A Korean company has built cinemas with seats which rock and special effects like wind, fog, strobe lights and scents are synchronised with the on-screen action.

Success in 4-D: Kung Fu Panda 2 with the voice of Jack Black as panda Po

The company, CJ 4DPlex, has opened an office in Los Angeles where computer programmes are written for the action films.

It plans to build America's first 4-D screen multiplex in New York and if it is a success, they will expand into Europe.

The biggest 4-D film in Seoul last week was Kung Fu Panda, the martial arts cartoon adventure with the voices of Jack Black, playing panda Po and Angelina Jolie.

A Korean blogger called Prof Miscreant reported in the Sunday Times: 'The seats have massage chair motors so that they punch you (lightly) in the kidneys or bottom when Po gets hit or falls down.

'At the end bubbles floated down from the ceiling to simulate fireworks - hilarious and well worth the 18,000 won (£10) ticket price.'

Blockbuster Avatar: Special 4-D audience effects were a huge hit with Korean movie fans

But not every movie fan is happy with the physical effects.

Some customers complained of feeling damp from the water effects after watching Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides but 'smelling sweet' like Captain Sparrow star Johnny Depp.

And there were reports of people becoming nauseous and going temporarily deaf after watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon where the major smell is the scent of burnt rubber.

CJ 4DPlex was the first company to make a 4-D version of James Cameron's 3-D futuristic blockbuster Avatar.

Audiences lapped up the smell of explosives and the howling wind effects so much so that the company is opening another three 4-D cinemas with seats that bend backwards and fly into the air.

A Seoul film distributor told Variety magazine: 'They are in a niche right now, like Imax giant screens a decade ago.'

Father and Son: Pictured at the launch of both STS-1 and STS-135

From: http://www.flickr.com/

Father and Son: STS-1 and STS-135

The picture we waited 30 years to complete. (hi reddit!)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Google to Stabilize Video for Google Talk on Android

by Charlie White
From: http://mashable.com/

A common problem with video chatting using tablets is shaky video. Now Google has selected SRI International to embed its video stabilization software inside the Google Talk app in Android 3.0 devices, promising to smooth out those jittery video transmissions from front-facing cameras on Android smartphones and tablets.

The Menlo Park-based nonprofit SRI International, formerly associated with Stanford University and responsible for the invention of the computer mouse in 1964, has been working on this stabilization software since the early 1990s. Now, Android tablets are fast enough to allow the software to perform its magic in real time.

The software works by identifying the user’s face, stabilizing that video before it’s compressed for transmission. There’s an added benefit to that steady shot — the video is easier to compress because there’s less movement involved, making the picture look sharper with less video noise.

So far, this video stabilization is only available for Google Talk with Android 3.0 installed. There are stabilization apps for the iPhone and iPad (such as SteadyCam Pro, which we favorably reviewed), but they don’t yet work in real time, a necessity for live chatting.
[via Ubergizmo]

Graphic courtesy SRI International

Nissan works on recharging Leaf with solar power

By YURI KAGEYAMA - AP Business Writer | AP

YOKOHAMA, Japan (AP) — Japanese automaker Nissan is testing a super-green way to recharge its Leaf electric vehicle using solar power, part of a broader drive to improve electricity storage systems.

Nissan's Leaf went on sale late last year, but the automaker is looking ahead to about five years time when aging Leaf vehicles may offer alternative business opportunities in using their lithium-ion batteries as a storage place for electricity.

Nissan Motor Corp. acknowledges that, once the Leaf catches on, a flood of used batteries could result as the life span of a battery is longer than an electric vehicle's.

Electricity generation and storage are drawing attention in Japan after the March 11 earthquake and tsunami caused massive blackouts in the country's northeast. A nuclear power plant that went into meltdown, Fukushima Dai-ichi, after backup generators were destroyed by the tsunami, is also renewing fears about a power crunch.

In the new charging system, demonstrated to reporters Monday, electricity is generated through 488 solar cells installed on the roof of the Nissan headquarters building in Yokohama, southwest of Tokyo.

Four batteries from the Leaf had been placed in a box in a cellar-like part of the building, and store the electricity generated from the solar cells, which is enough to fully charge 1,800 Leaf vehicles a year, according to Nissan.

Although interest is growing in renewable energy such as solar and wind power, a major challenge is the storage of electricity, which remains expensive without a breakthrough in battery technology.

Such interest is likely to keep growing in Japan because of fears about the safety of nuclear power. The Hamaoka nuclear plant is being shut down because of such concerns, and more may follow.

Other Japanese automakers, such as Toyota Motor Corp. and Honda Motor Co., are working on similar projects, such as linking hybrids with solar-equipped homes as part of energy-efficient communities called "smart grids."

Electric vehicles produce no pollution or global-warming gases but need electricity, whose production mostly relies on polluting oil or gas.

Even after a Leaf is ready to be scrapped, its battery is likely to have 80 percent of its capacity. On the plus side, the Leaf with its high-capacity battery can store the equivalent of two days of household electricity use, Nissan said.

"What's important for Nissan is to show solutions through EVs, step by step," said Corporate Vice President Hideaki Watanabe.

A joint venture with Sumitomo Corp. called 4R Energy Corp. plans to offer eletricity storage systems like the one at Nissan headquarters for business and public facilities as a commercial product by 2016.

Nissan also hopes to start selling such storage systems for regular homes by the fiscal year starting in April 2012. It will carry out field tests from December, 4R Energy President Takashi Sakagami said.

___

Yuri Kageyama can be reached at http://twitter.com/yurikageyama

McDonald's to Serve English Pub Burgers: Is Fillet of Fish and Chips Next?

By Laine Doss
From: http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/


Burger Business
The new McPub...Wonder if they'll be a McGuiness to go with it???

Burger Business has reported that a new McDonald's English-style pub burger is in the works.
The English Pub Burger is an Angus third-pound burger, garnished with hickory-smoked bacon, white cheddar and American cheeses, grilled onions, steak sauce, and smoky Dijon mustard sauce on an artisan roll.

The burger is set to be tested in the Midwest. No word yet whether the English Pub Burger will be hitting South Florida's McDonald'ses anytime soon.

The slogan on the American ad campaign (via tray liner) says the burger is so good, you'll be gobsmacked (that's British slang for "astounded," but in McDonald's case, "freaked out" is just as good).

We're hoping this starts a completely new era for McDonald's, which has a slightly tired menu (I mean, how many people actually admit to eating there?)

How about a McFillet of Fish and Chips? Or a McCurry Chicken Sandwich? Or a warm, crisp mincemeat pie in a box? We think the combination of bland English pub food and bland bad McDonald's is a match that's been a long time in the making.

18 Sexy Disney Tattoos [Photos]

by Ryan McKee

from http://clutch.mtv.com/

Spicy Canadian Shenae Grimes played Darcy Edwards on "Degrassi: The Next Generation" and now plays Annie Wilson in "90210." As for her role in real life, that seems to be the bearer of confusing tattoos. First, she appeared with a black heart on her cheek, which, thankfully, it turned out to be a temporary. Now she's gone and put a tattoo of Peter Pan's cap behind her ear. Why? She wrote on her website that the reasoning is too personal to share. Fine, leave us in the dark. We'll just go stare at other women who did their Disney tattoos correctly and made them sexy, à la Janet Jackson. She has a tattoo of Mickey and Minnie doing it under her pants.

Via CelebrityTattooSite.com

Via Tumblr

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Via BlogSpot

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Via Flikr

Via Evil Tattoo

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Via Ink Art Tattoos

Via We Heart It

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snow-white-disney-back-tattoo-snow-white-back-piece

Via BlogSpot

Via Tumblr

Enter Sandman (on Bike Horns)

Bill Bailey's message to Metallica

Uploaded by sonisphereuk on Jul 1, 2011

Bill recorded this special message to Metallica during his rehearsals for Sonisphere UK at Knebworth!

Millions of jellyfish invade nuclear reactors in Japan and Israel

By IBTimes Staff Reporter

From http://www.ibtimes.com/

A nuclear reactor in Japan was forced to shut down due to infiltration of enormous swarms of jellyfish near the power plant.

A similar incident was also reported recently in Israel when millions of jellyfish clogged down the sea-water cooling system of the power plant.

Such massive invasions of the species have raised speculations and scientists are trying to figure out the reason behind such unusual growing trends.

"The several [power plant incidents] that happened recently aren't enough to indicate a global pattern. They certainly could be coincidental," LiveScience quoted Monty Graham, a jellyfish biologist and senior marine scientist at the Dauphin Island Sea Lab off the Gulf Coast of Alabama stating.

Recent studies have found out that jellyfish blooming occurs mostly during the summer and spring months.
Check some amazing visuals of jellyfish infiltrations below:

Millions of jellyfish invade nuclear reactors in Japan and Israel.

A nuclear reactor in Japan was forced to shut down due to infiltration of enormous swarms of jellyfish near the power plant.