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Showing posts with label Witches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Witches. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Charlie Sheen Has Angered A Society of Warlocks

article written by: Andy Green
From: http://www.forkparty.com/

So, just when you think your brain couldn’t possible force in any more glorious Charlie Sheen winning, the internet goddess shines upon those of us who really don’t have much to do and from her tantalizing nether-regions squeezes out a golden game-changing egg filled with awesome like this.Charlie Sheen’s comparison of himself to the warlock community has set off a fiery seed within these harbinger’s of might and magic. Nay, shall they tolerate the insolence of someone who does not understand what it is to control the cosmos that goes around saying things that make “REAL” warlocks look silly!



A group of obviously unemployed mystics of the craft from Salem, Massachusetts performed a ceremony in which they “intervened” in Charlie’s use of the term “Warlock.”

Well, little do they know..that Charlie Sheen is not only a real warlock… he is one of the mightiest warlocks in the galaxy. Fueled by enough cocaine tiger’s blood to obliterate three solar systems.

Charlie Sheen continues his centuries long march across the sands of time to fulfill the curse placed upon his head by some mightier warlock…probably Gary Busey. This curse that sentenced Charlie to an insatiable zombie-like desire to bang as many prostitutes as possible while on the search for the ultimate state of mind.

So Salem warlocks/virgins, in the words of Iron Maiden — RUN TO THE HILLS… RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! You have tried to impose your will on the face of the almighty Sheen… and he proclaims with an echo through the mountains and a crash of lightning through the sky — “IT’S ON!”


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Salma Hayek Gets ‘Wicked’ on TV!


Salma Hayek Gets ‘Wicked’ on TV!
Salma Hayek (Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images)


Forget home, there’s no place like Oz.

Salma Hayek and ABC are developing an eight-part miniseries adaptation based on the Oz-centric book “Wicked,” according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Gregory Maguire’s best seller retells the “Wizard of Oz” story from the sympathetic viewpoint of the Wicked Witch of the West, the green Elphaba. It has already been translated into the hugely successful Broadway musical, but Hayek’s version will not be set to song.

Hayek and her producing partner Jose Tamez guide the version under their Ventanarosa Prod. with ABC Studios.

Erik Jenderson, who won an Emmy for his work on HBO’s “Band of Brothers,” is writing the script.
There’s no official word yet on whether Hayek herself will appear in the production.

NBC Universal is also developing a version of “Wicked” that is based on the musical (so, apparently, there will be at least two places like home).

Monday, August 23, 2010

Albino girl, 11, killed and beheaded in Swaziland ’for witchcraft’

An 11-year-old albino girl from Swaziland was shot dead in front of her friends and then beheaded in what police believe was a ritual murder.

Police believe children are targeted because of a belief by witch doctors that the blood and body parts of albinos can bring good luck and fortune when used in potions
Police believe children are targeted because of a belief by witch doctors that the blood and body parts of albinos can bring good luck and fortune when used in potions Photo: AFP/GETTY

The child had been washing clothes and bathing at a river with friends and was returning home when she was grabbed by a man wearing a balaclava.

As her friends looked on, the man shot her in the back before dragging her away. Her headless body was found upriver a short time later.

The murder is the latest in a series of albino killings in Sub-Saharan Africa, where sufferers of the rare skin pigmentation condition are concentrated.

Earlier this year, another 11-year-old albino child was killed close to the same spot in Swaziland and her hand was removed.

Police believe both children may have been targeted because of a belief by witch doctors that the blood and body parts of albinos - who lack pigment in their eyes, hair and skin - can bring good luck and fortune when used in potions.

Their value for black magic practitioners sees them often fall prey to human traffickers, one of whom was jailed for 17 years in Tanzania this week for abducting and attempting to sell a live albino man.

The girl murdered in Swaziland was named locally as Banele Nxumalo. A man identified as her father, Luke Nxumalo, told The Times of Swaziland that his late uncle had also been an albino.

“What happened to my child is very painful. I wonder why albinos are targeted because they are just humans like us and a gift from God,” he said.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

London's magical history uncorked from 'witch bottle'

by Linda Geddes

A rare insight into the folk beliefs of 17th-century Britons has been gleaned from the analysis of a sealed "witch bottle" unearthed in Greenwich, London, in 2004.

Witch bottles were commonly buried to ward off spells during the late 16th and 17th centuries, but it is very rare to find one still sealed.

"So many have been dug up and their contents washed away down the sink," says Alan Massey, a retired chemist formerly at the University of Loughborough, UK, who has examined so-called "magical" artifacts and was asked to analyse the contents of the bottle. "This is the first one that has been opened scientifically."

During the 17th century, British people often blamed witches for any ill health or misfortune they suffered, says Massey. "The idea of the witch bottle was to throw the spell back on the witch," he says. "The urine and the bulb of the bottle represented the waterworks of the witch, and the theory was that the nails and the bent pins would aggravate the witch when she passed water and torment her so badly that she would take the spell back off you."

The salt-glazed jar was discovered 1.5 metres below ground by archaeologists from The Maritime Trust, a Greenwich-based charity that preserves historic sailing vessels. When it was shaken, the bottle splashed and rattled, and an X-ray showed pins and nails stuck in the neck, suggesting that it had been buried upside down.

Further computed tomography scans showed it to be half-filled with liquid, which later analysis showed to be human urine. The bottle also contained bent nails and pins, a nail-pierced leather "heart", fingernail clippings, navel fluff and hair. The presence of iron sulphide in the mixture also suggests that sulphur or brimstone had been added.

"Prior to this point, all we really knew about what was in witch bottles was what we read from documents from the 17th century," says Brian Hoggard, an independent expert on British witchcraft who helped analyse the bottle. These texts suggest "recipes" for filling a witch bottle, but don't tell us what actually went into them.

Sulphur is not mentioned in any recipe Massey has seen, although a previously discovered bottle seemed to contain the remains of some matches, he says. "If you think about where sulphur came from in those days, it spewed out of volcanic fumaroles from the underworld. It would have been the ideal thing to [kill] your witch, if you wished to."

Further analysis of the urine showed that it also contained cotinine, a metabolite of nicotine, suggesting that it came from a smoker, while the nail clippings appear quite manicured, suggesting that a person of some social standing created the bottle.

"It's confirming what 17th-century documents tell us about these bottles, how they were used and how you make them," says Owen Davies, a witchcraft expert at the University of Hertfordshire in Hatfield, UK. "The whole rationale for these bottles was sympathetic magic – so you put something intimate to the bewitched person in the bottle and then you put in bent pins and other unpleasant objects which are going to poison and cause great pain to the witch."

Journal reference: British Archaeology

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