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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Pro Basketball Cheerleaders: America Vs Europe

With the NBA season in full swing, there's little question that in past decade European basketball players have begun to become much more prominent in the NBA. Many have become big stars, like Dirk Nowitzki and Tony Parker. In addition to that, pro European leagues have also improved drastically, helping to mold talent like Andrei Bargnani. Hell, Europeans even kicked our butts in the 2004 Olympics. Yes, Argentina won the gold (note: not actually European), but Italy won the silver. Yes, Italy. And Spain nearly knocked us off in the gold medal game in Beijing.

So if Europe's catching up to us - or even passing us - in terms of basketball skill, could they also be pulling ahead of us in terms of pro basketball cheerleading? That's not possible, right? After all, we invented cheerleading. Well, in all honesty, I have no clue if we invented cheerleading, but we definitely made it what it is today. So let's check it out, to see how pro European basketball cheerleaders match up against the best the NBA has to offer. By the way, if you think this is just a hotness contest, you're wrong. There's much more to cheerleading than being hot. Like dancing and, uh, other stuff. So anyway, here we go.


We keep it simple here in the US. When cheerleaders - like the Phoenix Suns ones - go for a theme look, it's predominantly the classic sexy cowgirl. Effective yes, unique no.

This is from the Opel Cup Tournament in Turkey. Now, you may say Turkey isn't part of Europe. Wrong. Part of Turkey is considered to be part of Europe. Now that we've finished the geography lesson, I have no clue what the hell the theme is here. Sexy beer wench? German fairy nymph? Definitely blows away the US on unique points, but loses points for pretty much everything else.

EDGE: US, for keeping it simple.


Ah yes, now this is an area America dominates in. This is from All-Star weekend. Notice the precise timing, the incredible choreography, and last but not least, the overly suggestive pelvic thrusts. Also, they picked a song that's at least semi-current.

This is from some Greek league and frankly, it's a disaster. The song, although traditional, doesn't lend itself to the always pleasing pelvic thrusts. Plus the brunette is having some trouble. And to top it all off, they do circulating leg kicks, which went out of style in the 1930s.

EDGE: America. By far.


Since we invented dunking, naturally our cheerleaders kick butt at it, like this Rockets cheerleader doing a nasty flip.

Didn't invent dunking, which leads to cheerleaders having this happen to them. (Yes, she's a cheerleader, I checked)