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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

TOP 50 Jewish Hotties

by Chaim "Shmegege" Shedayim

The Jewish people, despite never in our history having a population greater than that of, say, Cameroon, have given so much to the wider world. The fundamental text of Western literature. The foundation of Western law and justice. That Jesus guy. e=mc2. Hollywood. Superheroes. Most of the Great American Songbook. Stan Getz. "White Christmas." Philip Roth. The polio vaccine. ICQ. Han Solo. But perhaps our greatest gift of all to our pogrom-happy gentile friends and neighbors is one you might not expect: our fine, fine ladies. Jewish women have often been unfairly maligned by those self-haters in LA as ravenous maelstroms of emasculation supported by prominent noses, but those of us who came up within the maelstrom know the truth. Whether you're after brains, curves or the secure knowledge you'll never have (or be allowed) to make another decision ever again, the females of our tribe have got your number. What was good enough for Bogart is good enough for you - and here's fifty pieces of proof.