New fart-absorbing linens will save your marriage

By Peter Rugg

From: http://blogs.pitch.com

He just farted. But she'll never know....

​Apparently frustrated by the limited selection of fart-related products at Spencer's, a new company has created a blanket to absorb your spouse's gas and save your marriage.

Called the "Better Marriage Blanket," the special cloth is supposed to filter the odorous chemicals coming out of your butt, leaving the bed smelling fresh, and whoever is next to you blissfully unaware.

Starting at $29.95 the blanket comes in twin, queen, and king size, and in your choice of beige or white. It's being marketed by Overland Park's own Evans Media Group.

Based on the media response, it's poised to become the next Snuggie.
"The product has tested off the charts. When we put this up on YouTube, it got 1,300,000 views in six days. That's more than the Snuggie got." says Paul Evans, president of Evans Media Group. "It's been picked up by Graham Norton on the BBC, it's been picked up by the Today Show, and it was on Howard Stern yesterday."

​The Better Marriage Blanket still isn't available in stores, but considering the interest it seems likely you'll be able to find one in the as-seen-on-TV section of most major retailers soon.

The blanket's Web site calls it a "real solution to a very real problem," plaguing marriages today. It also recommends the blanket as the perfect gift for weddings and anniversaries. It also promises that the product contains the "same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons."

Eat, Fart All You Want at SoCal Baseball GameLake Elsinore Storm understands dangers of all-you-can-eat promotions

By OLSEN EBRIGHT

Getty Images

You can finally pass gas without clearing out your section.

It's finally safe to pull your friend's finger at a ballgame.

The Lake Elsinore Storm, the Class A California League San Diego Padres affiliate, is teaming up with Subtle Butt to conceal fans' farting. "You can probably deduce that all-you-can-eat ballpark food might lead to substantial gas emissions, which is where corporate sponsor, Subtle Butt, enters the picture," Storm officials said in a news release. Although it should be obvious from its name, Subtle Butt is a disposable cotton shield tucked into your undies to conceal the odor of flatulence. Not everyone will be able to toot toot for the home team. Only the first 250 fans at the April 14 game will be able to get in on the Subtle Butt promotion. If you miss the game, don't worry though. You can always spring for Subtle Butt ($9.95) on its web site.