Welcome to the SEC, Stephen Garcia! Signed, your local umpire
As if Stephen Garcia didn't have enough obstacles in his life -- keeping his pants on while being chased by police, dodging determined beers until his 21st birthday, controlling fire extinguishers with a mind of their own -- now he discovers in his first career start that, in South Carolina, the refs are unnecessarily rough with you:
I'm not sure what's going on here, and certainly not about to take liberties with the ethical reputation of officials in the SEC, the league that gave us the arbiter named "Penn Wagers." But assuming a disgruntled umpire is destined to take out a stunned ballcarrier somewhere, is it really a surprise it happened during a game featuring one team from Louisiana and another whose mascot is inspired by an illegal bloodsport? In fact, if you take a regular Saturday night in Columbia, then add the State Fair and several thousand victorious Cajuns in town, a ref thumping Stephen Garcia was probaby among the more mundane events of the evening.
The Wiz has a couple illuminating screenshots. It's great form, really. Chris Spielman would be proud.
.
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