Weird, Strange & Bad-Ass Martial Arts

Street Fighter IV

Photo: Capcom

Here's a Look at Some Martial Arts That We Wouldn't Mind Seeing in an Upcoming Video Game:

With the recent release of Soulcalibur IV, the impending arrivals of Street Fighter IV and Tekken 6, as well as rumours of Marvel vs Capcom 3 on the horizon and DC vs. Mortal Kombat being in development, there's lots for fans of fighting games to be getting excited about. Furthermore, there's a lot to be said regarding characters in fighting games. It seems that nowadays most game developers have a short laundry list of martial arts to draw upon: karate, judo, tae kwon do, kickboxing and muay thai, as well as made-up martial arts or generic movesets, such as "brawling." So, here's a look at some martial arts that we wouldn't mind seeing in an upcoming video game. Some of them are silly, some of them are fictitious, and some of them are real. Check it out!

Nguni Stick Fighting - Okay, so, teenagers in North America do things like sitting down and playing video games or cruising around on the Internet. Teenagers down in South Africa, though, like to practice hitting each other in the head as a way to pass the time. Nguni stick fighting is a martial art that is historically tied to the Zulu people and is seen by some folks as a part of the identity of being a Zulu. Apartheid laws in South Africa prevented people from owning firearms or possessing an izinduku (the name of the actual fighting stick), so practitioners were forced to improvise with items such as umbrellas. Also, Nelson Mandela was a disciple when he was younger.

Why this should be placed into a game: Being able to beat up M. Bison or Ivy as Nelson Mandela? Dude, that's almost as awesome as being able to bare knuckle box Abraham Lincoln!

Chances of implementation: Not very high, to be totally honest. Although there could be a ton of potential to institute something like this for a weapon based game, such as Soulcalibur, there's not enough "oomph" to make this truly appealing for folks.

Gymkata: actual results may vary
Credit: MGM

Gym Kata - What do you get when you combine the abilities of an Olympic gymnast with ninjitsu? Why, gymkata, of course, from the 1985 film of the same name...which was based on a book. Yes. Someone decided to write a book that combines gymnastics with ninjitsu and someone else thought it was such a kick ass idea that they just had to go and make a movie out of it. The amazing thing about all of this, though? There's almost a 30 year gap between book and film. I'll let you think that one over for a second. Anyway, gymkata, such as it is, is reliant on gymnastic equipment in order to be effective; things like uneven bars, pommel horses, etc. The rest is just your run of the mill martial arts stuff.

Why this should be placed into a game: In a genre that has sumo wrestlers, bull fighters, pacifist yoga experts and boxing kangaroos, having a gymkata character would not only be strangely fitting, but it'd also be hilarious to see. Besides, I don't think we'll ever see figureskatingkata, so this would be your best opportunity to punch out a smug, leotard wearing Olympiad.

Chances of implementation: Something like this would have to fit in as fan service of some kind. Unfortunately, I don't think that there are enough gymkata enthusiasts out there to get the attention of game developers. To put it another way: gymkata would need to defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance.

Metallikato - Back in 1987, interest was waning with the Transformers, thanks to the efforts of Johnny-come-latelys, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In an attempt to try and revive the franchise's toy line, Hasbro decided to introduce the Pretenders line of Transformers toys, which were basically Transformers who could disguise their robot forms. The line was fairly unpopular with fans and was one of the last set of toys that were released under the "original" set of Transformers toys. That said, the Pretender line also gave us Bludgeon, a Decepticon character who was a master of the Cybertron art known as Metallikato. While I won't try to get into a technical analysis here, Metallikato sounds like a simple enough premise: the ancient art of robot kicking and punching. Awesome.

Rejected Megadeth poster or a source of childhood trauma? You decide
Credit: Marvel Comics

Why this should be placed into a game: Are you friggen kidding me? ROBOT KUNG FU. 'Nuff said!

Chances of implementation: Pretty high if you stop to think about it. There's a Transformers sequel coming up pretty soon, and games like Soulcalibur have been known to introduce "guest" characters (see: Link, Spawn, Yoda and Darth Vader), so it wouldn't be a huge stretch for a Transformer to make it into a fighting game.

Dambe - Boxing characters in fighting games are, by and large, pretty damn lame. Balrog, the poster boy for boxers, is a pretty good example of this, having seen constant upgrades over his history as a playable character. I mean, it's pretty hard to be threatening when your entire repertoire consists of punches and your opponents are kicking you, throwing fireballs at you or zapping you with electricity. Meet Dambe, a form of Nigerian boxing. Depending on how you look at it, Dambe is either a variant of North American boxing or is a completely bad-ass martial art all in its own right. Let me explain: combatants have one hand that is designed for striking wrapped in a cloth, called the kara and bound with a cord called the zara. The striking hand is called the "spear." The other hand, which is used for blocking and deflection, is called the "shield." Strikes can be made using the spear, the feet, or head. Also, one leg is wrapped in a chain, called the akayau, and can be used as a weapon, and the kara, in some circles, is wrapped in ground glass.

OM NOM NOM, Balrog snacks on his glove
Credit: Capcom

Why this should be placed into a game: The potential for a character who is based on the Dambe fighting style is pretty high and could hinge around having a player, whose defense (using the shield hand) is an integral part of their game. This could be a turtler's dream, much to the annoyance and aggravation of everyone else.

Chances of implementation: Moderately high, if you ask me. All it would take is the proper attention being given to the sport in a movie or in something like MMA to give it some buzz. That said, trying to create a character that uses Dambe effectively could be a designer's nightmare. Tough call.

Rex: wife of Starla, champion of freedom and justice
Credit: Paramount Pictures

Rex Kwon Do - The fighting "system" showcased in Napoleon Dynamite. Not much is known about this rather unique system of martial arts that was developed "in the Octagon." Extremely effective against those smaller and weaker than you, and guaranteed to give you the "strength of a grizzly bear and the reflexes of a puma," Rex Kwon Do would seem to be an overpowered fighting system, with mastery occurring within 8 weeks.

Why this should be placed into a game: Although Napoleon Dynamite has more than jumped the shark, I would argue that Rex Kwon Do hasn't. And who doesn't want to pummel their opponent senseless with slaps to the back of the head while yelling "BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!" at them?

Chances of implementation: Zero. We'd have a greater chance of having Chuck Norris, an equally beaten-to-death fad, thrown into a fighting game than we would of seeing Rex Kwon Do anytime soon.

Krav Maga - Developed World War 2 Hungary and Czechoslovakia to defend the Jewish communities from Nazis, Krav Maga is a martial arts system that, unlike other systems which focus on neutralizing or subduing an opponent in less than lethal ways, assumes that your opponent is out to kill you. As a result, Krav Maga tries to do the same right back. A fairly popular "flavor of the month" right now, Krav Maga is fairly brutal and tons of videos can be found kicking around online. Training can and does include anything from learning how to defend yourself from a knife attack to how to escape from being garrotted. Krav Maga isn't pretty, but it certainly gets the job done.

Why this should be placed into a game: It was developed to help fight Nazis, and is a completely brutal style that would fit right in with the insane world of fighting video games.

Chances of implementation: It's a bad ass fighting style and is becoming more and more well known. Unlike, say, Jailhouse Rock, which is fairly unheard of, Krav Maga has a fairly high profile even amongst those who aren't that well versed in martial arts. Out of everything listed here, it stands the best chance of making it into a fighting game sometime down the road.

Jailhouse Rock - Described as being America's only "native" martial art, Jailhouse Rock is apparently a system of fighting that originated amongst black slaves in the United States. Needing a way to defend themselves, the Jailhouse Rock system, also known as "52 Hand Blocks and Stato," began to evolve in the US penal system. One of the aspects of JHR, being able to operate in a closed and confined space, made the martial art incredibly useful in the narrow confines of most American prisons. Jailhouse Rock has been mentioned in song by the Wu-Tang Clan and was featured in Lethal Weapon where Mel Gibson's Martin Riggs is trained in JHR.

Martin Riggs mugged a high school student for his varsity jacket
Credit: Warner Bros.

Why this should be placed into a game: It has a cool back story, it could make for an interesting grappling character that isn't based on a professional wrestler (Zangief, King, etc), and it has some "street cred." Plus, it has been featured somewhat in the mainstream.

Chances of implementation: Pretty decent, as there are already a ton of characters based on felons/convicted felons and this would help to make them more "authentic." Yes, authentic in a game world where wooden dolls come to life and movie stars fight alongside professionally trained assassins. Moving on...

Unagi - Ross Geller's "technique" from Friends, also translates to "freshwater eels" in Japanese. Apparently Unagi is a state of being, and, if Ross' depiction of it is accurate, it's the state of being incredibly annoying. Near as I can tell, Unagi involves lurking in hallways screaming "DANGER!" and jumping on the backs of unsuspecting women. The efficacy of this particular fighting style is highly debatable, however, as we don't see Ross ever actually DO anything.

Why this should be placed into a game: You can't tell me you haven't ever felt the urge to want to beat the tar out of that annoyingly smug and "geeky" Ross. I mean, HE winds up with Rachel? Brad "Tyler Durden" Pitt knocked Rachel to the curb and ROSS gets her? No way.

Dan Hibiki (pictured, sitting) doing what he does best
Credit: Capcom

Chances of implementation: Hey, Dan Hibiki has managed to make a career out of being an obnoxious loser. Why not have A NEW CHALLENGER APPEAR?

Gun Kata - Brought to light in the movie Equilibrium, Gun Kata is essentially the art of being a complete badass while armed with a gun. The movie explains that the martial art is based on analysis of thousands of recorded firefights and has given a statistically predictable system for practitioners to utilize. The effectiveness of Gun Kata is unquestioned, as seen in the film, protagonist John Preston (played by Christian Bale) takes out 30 opponents in under a minute using Gun Kata. Although it's incredibly flashy and movie friendly, Gun Kata is also a highly impractical 'real world' martial art. Still, it looks cool.

Why this should be placed into a game: Because, outside of another movie picking up Gunkata, such as what happened with the ultra horrible Ultraviolet, we're really not going to be able to see this showcased anywhere else. Plus, it'd be interesting to see Gun Kata adopted for a fighting game.

Jill Valentine has her own persuasive argument as to why guns should be in fighters
Credit: Capcom

Chances of implementation: Okay, before everyone goes "you can't have guns in a fighting game!" I'd like to point out two things: we have seen guns used by characters in video games (most notably with Cable from Marvel vs. Capcom 2), and as gun kata doesn't exclusively revolve around firing a gun, pistols can also be used as a melee weapon. That said, the chances of seeing Gun Kata in a game rate fairly low, although seeing a knock off of Gun Kata implemented? Entirely possible, given video game companies knack for "borrowing" cool concepts and ideas for their own use.