You'll Need to Trenta-Stomach: What Else Starbucks' New Cup Can Hold

By City of Ate

From: http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/

Via Cockeyed.com

The Starbucks new Trenta coffee cup, which can hold 31-ounces of iced coffee, can carry an entire bottle of wine. There's video evidence to that fact, thanks to the good ol' Internet. This news came after the calculation that the new plus-sized cup is about as large as the average human stomach.

This led City of Ate to wonder, what the hell else can you fit in Starbucks Trenta? Bacon? A high-heel shoe? Lots of Lil' Smokies? Yes, maybe, and sure you can! Thus, we present a list: 12 things you can fit comfortably inside the new Trenta cup at Starbucks. By the way, Starbucks, Trenta kinda sounds like a planet in the Star Wars universe.

1. 2 Packages of Bacon, or 28 Slices
Perfect transport system for your camping trip in the wild.


2. 1 1/2 Packages of Lil' Smokies, or 75 Lil' Smokies
Need a new appetizer? Just fill a Trenta with Lil' Smokies and place under a warm lamp!

The Trenta can support roughly 75 Lil' Smokies.

3. 2 1/2 Beers
Think of all the drunk movie theater moments you've missed out on without the Trenta.




4. Double Car Bomb: Two bottles of Guinness, two shots of Jameson Irish Whiskey and two shots of Baileys Irish Cream
The Trenta's party potential is explosive, in more ways than one.




5. 1.32 Four Lokos
OK, maybe this isn't that impressive. One Four Loko, though, is one too many.



6. 1/2 a 12 oz. Bag of Doritos
Eating a Trenta cup full of Doritos also increases your risk of orange Doritos fingers.

Just tip head, and pour into mouth!

7. A pair of adult ballet slippers and a pair of tights...or a pair of gym shorts
 No need for a gym bag when you've got your Trenta. Keeps your sweat towel from funking up the car on the ride home as well.




8. An entire bag of cotton balls (or cotton swabs)
Open up that straw hole and you got yourself a recycled bathroom dispenser.




9. 45 ballpoint pens
You'll never be without a writing utensil when a potential date seems impressed by your straw sucking ability.




10. Two pints of Ben & Jerry's
A pre-emptive strike: Pack that shit in so you don't have to weep in self-loathing when you open the second container.




11. A fifth (and 1/5) of whiskey
"No, friendly arena employee, this is just iced tea. I swear. GO FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM!"

Cracked

Careful, after a fifth and 1/5th. You might do this.

​
12. 31 ounces of your own urine
Who needs to pull over when you can feel confident the Trenta will contain twice the volume of an average human bladder filled to capacity?

Relax, it's just Mountain Dew.

15 Things You Should Know About Caffeine

[Source: Homeowners Insurance]

The Best Coffee at Starbucks Isn't on the Menu

By: Dahlia Rideout (View Profile)
From: http://www.divinecaroline.com/

Like most office drones, it’s hard to pass by a Starbucks on the way to work without stopping for a cup of America’s finest. But a new trend has baristas cringing and customers rejoicing: the Instant Brew. It’s not on the menu, but most baristas will make you one if the store isn’t too busy.

The Instant Brew is when baristas brew coffee directly into the cup and not into a giant vat of joe. It’s also known as a pour-over or single-drop. This trend is becoming more popular among small specialty coffee houses, and it produces a stronger brew similar to a French press, but without the grit.

Thanks for the image Shawn!
There's a few more items from Starbucks which may further piss off your local barista.

• The Short Cappuccino: A cheaper, better cappuccino served in a smaller eight-ounce cup. This is a more European-size portion of the drink without the extra milk most baristas use to fill the tall cups. Most foodies agree that a proper cappuccino should be one part espresso, one part steamed milk and one part foam.
  
• Biscotti Frappuccino: buy an individual biscotto and ask your barista to blend it into any Frappuccino drink for a crunchy treat.
• Red Eye: a shot of espresso in regular drip coffee
• Black Eye: two shots of espresso in regular drip coffee
• Green Eye: three shots of espresso in regular drip coffee (with a side of insomnia and serious heart palpitations)
• Poor Man’s Latte: order an Iced Americano with no water and half ice, then pour in your own half-and-half at the condiments station; the result is a Breve Latte for a fraction of the cost.
• Chocolate Cream Frappuccino: a Frappuccino made with chocolate syrup and chocolate Frappuccino base
• Cake Batter Frappuccino: a vanilla Frappuccino made with both vanilla bean and almond flavoring
• Crunch Berry Frappuccino: a strawberry-and-cream Frappuccino with hazelnut flavoring; it tastes just like Crunch Berries cereal.
• London Fog: Earl Grey tea blended with vanilla flavoring
• Zebra Mocha (aka Penguin Mocha): a combination white-chocolate/chocolate mocha
• Red-Tux Mocha (aka Bleeding Penguin): a Zebra Mocha plus raspberry flavoring

Starbucks is also testing new brewing methods in key markets. Their concept store, Roy Street Coffee and Tea, also serves beer and wine and creates little heart-shaped designs in their cappuccinos. More importantly they offer cold-press coffee using the elusive Clover coffee machine, an $11,000 device that takes hours to brew a pot of coffee, served cold and black.

The 9 Most Annoying People at Starbucks

From: http://www.holytaco.com/

Starbucks is the best and worst place on the entire planet. On the one hand, they have more than enough delicious caffeine, whipped cream, and overpriced travel mugs to satisfy your early morning cravings. On the other hand, they're usually a steaming hotbed of douchebaggery. Here are the 9 most annoying people you'll run into at your local Starbucks:

 

The Regular

 

Y'know what's awesome? When you walk into a Starbucks to find a line about thirty patrons deep, and then the person who gets in line behind you just shouts to their "friend" behind the counter: "Hey, Colby! I'm getting my usual!" Then, the line jumper spends the rest of his time trying to "just sneak in and pay real quick" so that he can avoid standing in line with all the other losers who don't come to this particular Starbucks as often as he does, and therefore don't deserve special service. If, by some miracle, the Starbucks employee forces The Regular to wait in line to pay like a normal person, then they still get their coffee way before anyone else does, and they get to stand there and enjoy their delicious morning beverage while everyone else is pulling their hair out in desperate need of their morning fix. This type of special treatment is just blatantly wrong, unless I'm getting the treatment, in which case I'm okay with it.

 

The Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker

 

At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn't have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But, since anyone who's over-qualified to be a Wal-Mart greeter is a Wal-Mart cashier, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin' dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your $4 coffee in peace, you have to deal with: "Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we're having isn't it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn't that be nice? It's sooooo sunny! And what's better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Hi! WELCOME TO STARBUCKS!!! And how are you doing today?!?!"

 

The Kid

 

It's been scientifically proven that if you give a thoroughbred horse a tall iced mocha right before a race, it will always win*. This is because of the massive and ungodly amounts of caffeine and sugar that are somehow contained within each Starbucks brand beverage. These drinks get you so wired that they should come with some kind of surgeon general's warning on the side of the cup. Yet, somehow, people allow 8-year old kids, who are all ready hyperactive thanks to the addition of these Starbucks brand energy injections into their normal diet, to pound back Caramel Machiatos by the dozens on a daily basis. Remember the crazy fast zombies in 28 Days Later? Well, this is the first step to making them. Keep it up, humanity!

 

The Manager Who Refuses to Recognize Standard Sizes

 

I understand: you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I'm speaking to you in that Native American langauge we used in World War II to deliver coded messages. You, Starbucks, are the one who's chosen to be "different" by calling your sizes something other than what they are. If you insist on looking at me like I'm a retard speaking Chinese whenever I order a "small" coffee, then I'm going to insist that you give me change for a dollar with "3 twinklies, 3 chartruse bubblebunnies, and a dragonplumber". Deal with it.

 

The Complicated Order Guy

 

When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam", you just drink a glass of water. They can make that pretty quickly, so you won't have to pace around in front of the pick up counter like a starving circus lion at lunch time. The best part about it: last I checked, a glass of water won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety (unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana).

 

The Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office

 

 

Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?" Then, instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he painstakingly inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You're better off flying to Colombia, slitting Juan Valdez's throat and stealing his invasive, coffee-harvesting burro.

 

The Writer Who Wants You to Know They’re a Writer 

 

Being a writer is a pretty cool (albeit thrifty) occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. However, feeling the need to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their brand new powerbook, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of Final Draft. After they get their overly-elaborate morning beverage, they'll sit at a table and stare at their computer screen, taking deep breaths, suggesting an intense and creative thought process that normal minds are not capable of. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people? The most important thing is that you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!

 

The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Day

 

 

Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world's biggest bore and the world's biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won't shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they're taking over the world and how their coffee totally "doesn't taste like the gourmet stuff downtown." But when you bring up the fact that he's ranting about Starbucks while he's actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. "Well, here's the thing, I just didn't have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I totally can't stand that I have to come here, but that's what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you! They're everywhere!  Can you grab me a handful of Splenda?"

 

The Study Group

 

 

Screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to have your 20-person study session in an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every f*cking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over the frappucino machine. Would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.

Topless coffee shop burns down; official says it was arson

From Jason Kessler and Laurie Segall

(CNN) -- In the end, a coffee shop in Vassalboro, Maine, that gained national attention for its topless waiters and waitresses simply proved too hot -- the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop burned to the ground early Wednesday morning.

The building of the topless coffee shop was completely destroyed by a fire Wednesday morning.

A state fire official said it was arson.

The blaze consumed the risque, small-town business shortly after midnight, said Vassalboro Fire Chief Eric Rowe. He described the flames as "severe" and said the building was a "total loss."

"I really liked it here," waitress Krista Macentyre said after learning the cause of the fire. "We weren't hurting anyone. I don't know why someone would do something like this."

The shop's proprietor, Donald Crabtree, said he is determined to rebuild. "This is home" to a lot of people, he said.

For Crabtree the coffee shop literally was home. He and his two daughters, their two boyfriends, and his two infant grandchildren lived in quarters attached to the Grand View. The fire forced them to relocate to a motel.

Stephen McCausland, spokesman for the Maine Department of Public Safety, called it arson and said "evidence has been taken to the state police crime for lab analysis."

An ambulance crew returning to Belfast, Maine, noticed the fire around 1 a.m., waking Crabtree and six others, including two 4-month-old infants, according to McCausland.

"We weren't hurting anyone," said Krista Macentyre, who worked at Grand View.

Crabtree said he did not have insurance for the Grand View. If necessary, he said, he would be willing to reopen in a temporary mobile trailer on the site of the topless -- and now roofless -- coffee shop.

Crabtree said his 10 female and three male employees are "in shock."

While some Vassalboro residents expressed displeasure with the 18-and-over establishment, Crabtree said he had received no threats.

In a February interview with CNN shortly after Grand View opened, Crabtree said the coffee shop was doing brisk business in the small town of 4,500. "It's just been crowds mobbing in," he said at the time.

The Maine Department of Public Safety said they believe the fire was arson.

"This place was made to put smiles on people's faces," he said Wednesday.

Waitress Macentyre added, "This was a good innocent business."

"Every worker was just trying to take care of themselves and make a living -- just trying to live like everybody else," she said.

In Case You Want Your Coffee Served By Women in Bikinis...

It's service with a smile, bikini and
high heels.

Reporter: Al Naipo
Posted by: Scott Coppersmith

Garden Grove (myFOXla.com) - Some Vietnamese coffee houses in Orange County are brewing up something different.

No, it's not a new tea or coffee blend. It's the waitresses... who wear a uniform consisting of little more than a bikini with high heels.

Cafe Di Vang 2 in Garden Grove is one of a growing number of local Vietnamese coffee houses where the waitresses wear the revealing outfits.

According to one waitress there who spoke with FOX 11's Al Naipo in his video report, the place is more like an "Asian Hooters for coffee."

Hot beverages and smoothies... that's pretty much all they've got. There's no food, but the the waitresses will take time to sit and chat with the customers.

"We talk to you," says one of the waitresses. "(We) ask you how your day going. Care for you as a friend, too."

It's all about friendly service and making the customer feel at home... a place where they can watch tv, play cards or a board game, and just hang out.

The servers tell us they're ok with wearing very little and also that they rarely get customers who want more than what's on the limited menu.

"How they treat the customer is very respectful and nice," says owner, Dan Nguyen. "I don't have any problem at all."

By the way, if you're wondering what prices are like at Cafe Di Vang 2, here are a couple of examples... the coffee's $4.50 and the smoothies are $6.00.

Not a bad price to pay for the priceless service!

More information:

Cafe Di Vang 2
14221 Euclid Street
Garden Grove CA

Click here to visit them on the web.