Was Nicolas Cage a vampire during the Civil War? This $1,000,000 photograph holds the answers

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By Cyriaque Lamar

Are you an unhinged billionaire? Are you a sucker for impulse buys? Do you sit around wondering if the fellow née Nicolas Kim Coppola is an immortal Confederate soldier who feasts on human blood? Then have I got an eBay purchase for you, pilgrim!

Behold this recent auction titled "Nicolas Cage is a Vampire / Photo from 1870 / Tennessee":

Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it's him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.

This is not a trick photo of any kind and has not been manipulated in Photoshop or any other graphics program. It's an original photo of a man who lived in Bristol, TN sometime around the Civil War.

I've had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography - images of dead people - from the 1800s. This photo was found in the very back of album that contained an unusual number of Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified by name - this man was not.

Photographer is Professor G.B. Smith. A contact of mine forwarded this interesting article (link) about the photographer, Smith. Turns out he was a confederate Civil War prisoner of war photographer.

Guaranteed to be an original 1860s-70s photograph and not a modern reproduction, copy or photo manipulation.

Cage has dabbled in vampirism before and is a man to speak in phantasmagoric riddles, so Nosferatuness isn't a total improbability. I bet this is the linchpin to the mystery of that naked man with the Fudgsicle.

[Via Buzzfeed]

OLIVIA MUNN SOMETHING SOMETHING

Olivia Munn is super pretty and her favorite thing to do ever is pander and give nerds boners, so of course she made a video making fun of Twilight. Nerds hate Twilight like they hate direct sunlight. I actually thought the first part (’you talk like someone from old history’ - nice) was funnier than the killing part that she’s in. But regardless, Seltzer-Friedberg are already planning to re-shoot this for their next movie, except with someone playing Amy Winehouse in it for some reason.

And yes, this was all just an elaborate excuse to post my favorite gif in the whole wide world:

It’s not even so much that you get to see Olivia Munn’s nice boobs jiggle — okay, a lot of it is, but still — it’s that she just giggles adorably about it. How come it never works that way for me? I swear, middle school chicks are so immature.

Oh, and here’s a bonus NSFW Olivia Munn gif where she maintains eye contact while showing you her nipple. Over and over for all eternity. Try not to burn a hole in your computer.

[via G4]

'Vampire' discovered in mass grave

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The dig site reveals a mass grave with the "vampire" indicated and, inset, a 3D model of the skeleton with brick (Image: Matteo Borrini)"

A SKELETON exhumed from a grave in Venice is being claimed as the first known example of the "vampires" widely referred to in contemporary documents.

Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence in Italy found the skeleton of a woman with a small brick in her mouth (see right) while excavating mass graves of plague victims from the Middle Ages on Lazzaretto Nuovo Island in Venice (see second image here).

At the time the woman died, many people believed that the plague was spread by "vampires" which, rather than drinking people's blood, spread disease by chewing on their shrouds after dying. Grave-diggers put bricks in the mouths of suspected vampires to stop them doing this, Borrini says.

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To stop the "vampires" supposedly chewing shrouds and spreading disease, grave-diggers put bricks in the mouths of plague victims (Image: Matteo Borrini)

The belief in vampires probably arose because blood is sometimes expelled from the mouths of the dead, causing the shroud to sink inwards and tear. Borrini, who presented his findings at a meeting of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences in Denver, Colorado, last week, claims this might be the first such vampire to have been forensically examined. The skeleton was removed from a mass grave of victims of the Venetian plague of 1576.

However, Peer Moore-Jansen of Wichita State University in Kansas says he has found similar skeletons in Poland and that while Borrini's finding is exciting, "claiming it as the first vampire is a little ridiculous".

Borrini says his study details the earliest grave to show archaeological "exorcism evidence against vampires".

True Blood Hotties Top List of TV's Best Nude Scenes

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Total Recall: Sexy Vampires

In honor of Twilight, we pay tribute to some of cinema's hottest bloodsuckers.

by Tim Ryan and Jen Yamato |

This week, the hotly-anticipated Twilight hits theaters. The film, starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in the tale of young vampires in love, got us thinking: blood suckers are sexy. Thus, we thought we'd present a compendium of some of the hottest vampires in big-screen history!

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Aaliyah Appears in: Queen of the Damned (2002) Tomatometer: 14% Six years after Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt surprised Anne Rice fans with a commercially-successful adaptation of the author's novel Interview with the Vampire, Warner Bros. rushed into production on a follow-up, skipping Interview's direct sequel The Vampire Lestat in favor of shooting a revamped version of Rice's sexier third book; the result was 2002's Queen of the Damned, a critical and commercial failure that drew comparisons to the Goth-pop music videos streamed on MTV. Despite all this, Queen of the Damned featured a central performance by the late R&B star Aaliyah (the victim of a tragic airplane crash six months before the film's release) that remains one of the sexiest, if utterly camp-tastic, vampire portrayals put to celluloid. Scantily clad and golden-eyed as the Egyptian vampire queen Akasha -- the oldest and most powerful of all vampires on earth -- Aaliyah slithered her way through Queen with the lithe poise of a dancer, and memorably joined Stuart Townsend's Lestat in a rose petal-strewn bath that still has us steamed. Damned to the ranks of rotten on the Tomatometer? Yes. Queen of the sexiest vampire movies in history? Undoubtedly.

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Kate Beckinsale Appears in: Underworld (2003), Underworld: Evolution (2006) Tomatometer: 27%, 14% As if Kate Beckinsale needed to do anything more than slink into a black leather bodysuit, her Selene in 2003's Underworld possesses superhuman strength, packs major firepower, and has a taste for blood -- the ultimate lethal, sexy succubus. The only thing that could make this vampire sexier? Her steamy forbidden romance with one Michael Corvinus (Scott Speedman), the human-turned-werewolf who happens to be the newfound enemy of her people. That the camera in both Underworld and its 2006 sequel, Underworld: Evolution, near-fetishizes Selene's every move doesn't hurt (director Len Wiseman begun dating his star halfway through filming on Underworld and married her in 2004). While the next Underworld installment, Rise of the Lycans, will go Beckinsale-less -- it's a prequel story starring Rhona Mitra and Michael Sheen, Beckinsale's real-life ex -- look for her hugely anticipated return to the vampire lady assassin role in a rumored fourth Underworld film.

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Anne Parillaud Appears in: Innocent Blood (1992) Tomatometer: 42% This gangster/vampire hybrid from John Landis failed to excite the critics, who found it to be an uneasy marriage between supernatural and crime drama tropes, with an excess of gore. However, there's a good reason to see it: Anne Parillaud, who plays a Pittsburgh blood-sucker that gets in over her head when she fails in the contract killing of a crime boss, who becomes one of the undead himself. Parillaud, hot off a supporting role in La Femme Nikita, didn't quite crack the American market with Innocent Blood, but her performance as a sex-and-blood crazed vampire turned some genre fans' heads.

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Catherine Deneuve Appears in: The Hunger (1983) Tomatometer: 44% Long on atmosphere but short on plot, Tony Scott's debut, The Hunger, is still remembered for Catherine Deneuve's performance as of the sexiest vampires in movie history. Deneuve stars as Miriam Blaylock, who looks terrific given the fact that she's been feasting on human blood since the days of King Tut. John (David Bowie), her longtime companion, is on death's door, aging decades in hours. He turns to an attractive young doctor named Sarah Roberts (Susan Sarandon) who is baffled by his condition; when she turns up at John's house, Miriam is waiting, and decides Sarah might make a suitable replacement. Critics felt that the love scene between Deneuve and Sarandon was one of the few reasons to see The Hunger, but for many, that's reason enough. Plus, The Hunger provided young Goths with one of their most treasured love songs -- "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus.

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Vampyros Lesbos Appears in: Vampyros Lesbos (1970) Tomatometer: 50% A classic of Eurotrash exploitation cinema, Vampyros Lesbos has a classy veneer that belies its seedy subject matter. Vampyros stars the beautiful Soledad Miranda in one of her last roles (she died in 1970 in an auto accident) as Nadine, a vampire that haunts the dreams of American lawyer Linda Westinghouse (Ewa Stromberg), who is tasked with handling Nadine's inheritance. Linda is both attracted to Nadine and scared of her -- after all, she is a sexy vampire. In retooling Bram Stoker's short story Dracula's Guest for the psychedelic era, director Jesus Franco concocted a brightly-colored soft-core fantasyland, with cheesy freak-out camera work, beautiful Turkish locales, and a sitar-mad, way-too-funky soundtrack that Quentin Tarantino memorably cribbed for a key scene in Jackie Brown. In terms of both eroticism and scares, Vampyros Lesbos might seem tame by today's standards, but it's still pretty hot.

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Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt Appear in: Interview with the Vampire (1994) Tomatometer: 59% Critics were split on Neil Jordan's adaptation of Anne Rice's bestselling vampire chronicle, but there was one demographic that was thoroughly impressed: the ladies. Starring Tom Cruise at the height of his powers, and Brad Pitt on the way up, Interview with the Vampire was, for the fairer gender, a gothic nightmare and a dream come true all at once. Cruise played Lestat, the merciless bloodsucker who leads despondent Louis (Pitt) to the dark side; Louis is conflicted, but later decides to sink his teeth into his new lifestyle, bringing a young girl (played by Kirsten Dunst) along for the ride. If some found the violence to be a little much, that didn't stop Interview posters from lining the walls of female dorm rooms across the country.

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Salma Hayek Appears in: From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) Tomatometer: 66% In Robert Rodriguez's From Dusk Till Dawn, George Clooney and co-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino play a pair of bank-robbing brothers on the run from the law. While cooling their heels in a boarder gin house (the name of which is unprintable in a family website), the brothers gaze lovingly upon the exotically-monikered Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), the bar's main attraction. She's something to behold: a dancer who's minimally clothed, save for a giant snake, she's also got a taste for blood -- which she shares with the rest of the establishment's employees. From Dusk Till Dawn was a breakout role for Hayek, and it's not hard to see why: she makes sharp teeth look hot, and brings new meaning to the term "snake charmer."

more info...

Jason Patric Appears in: The Lost Boys (1987) Tomatometer: 77% Joel Schumacher's 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys had more than a few magic elements going for it: a gang of modern-day punk vamps, a hunky 21-year-old Jason Patric (or, if you prefer, a hunky 21-year-old Kiefer Sutherland), and the two Coreys! The comedy-horror tale of brothers (Corey Haim and Patric) who stumble upon a network of vampires in a seaside California town benefited from its teen idol cast -- which included actress Jami Gertz in her hottie heyday -- as much as it did from the eternally-quotable Frog brothers (played by Jamie Newlander and Corey Feldman). But Patric's tortured, drool-worthy performance as the half-vampire Michael (not to mention his sweltering love scene with Gertz' Star) earned him a spot on our Tiger Beat-plastered walls -- and made us think we wouldn't mind drinking a little vampire blood wine ourselves.

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Monica Bellucci Appears in: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Tomatometer: 81% Bram Stoker's Dracula, Francis Ford Coppola's sensuous vampire flick, makes a key point about the Count: It's not the worst gig in the world. Sure, you have to suck blood, live in the dark, and avoid garlic, but there's hardly a shortage of female companionship. In BSD, Dracula (Gary Oldman) is hot for Mina (Winona Ryder) and Lucy (Sadie Frost), but when he's not ravaging innocents, he's got three hot wives waiting at home -- among them Monica Bellucci, who made her English language debut here. Despite their vivaciousness, however, the brides come with a downside: they're always nagging the poor count to get them more blood.

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If you're new to the world of Twilight and could use a quick primer on the major players, check out our Twilight Character Guide here. For a rundown of star Robert Pattinson's five favorite movies, click here. And for the complete Total Recall archives, click here.

Finally, here's a vampire with a face only his (presumably thousand-year-old) mother could love:

Top Six Sexiest Vampires to grace your theatres

October 31, 2008 by kevin

Vampires are fascinating creatures. They need human blood to survive and can make us their slaves. In such a scenerio, The Daily Dust have put together a list of vampires who we would most like to donate our blood to.

6. Ingrid Pitt

Much to our benefits, Ingrid Pitt landed a role in the 1971 film Countess Dracula. Ingrid plays a scantily clad vampire who slays young virgins to keep her self young and supple. A worthy cause.

5. Leonor Varela

Blade II is full of vampires the competition for hottest vampire was fierce. However, Nyssa, a sexy fighting vampire played by the hot Chilean actress Leonor Varela took the crown.

4. Monica Belluci

In the 1992 film, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Dracula has three brides. His first was played by the gorgeous Monica Belluci who stole the scene, even with two other very sexy vampires

3. Salma Hayek

IN From Dusk Till Dawn , Salma Hayek brings a vampire infested strip club to a boil with her incredible dance with a big snake. One of the sexiest scenes in cinema ever.

2. Aaliyah

The late Aaliyah played the seriously sexy vampire, Akasha, the queen of the damned.

1. Kate Beckinsale

In the 2003 film Underworld , Kate Beckinsale showed us to match sexy with horror and action, playing Selene and dressed in skin-tight black, she had to win.

Let us know in the comments below if we have missed any hot vampires.