Star Wars Bass Solo

From:http://furiousfanboys.com/

What do you do with a Kenner Millennium Falcon toy when you grow up? Turn it into the most epic bass guitar ever to make the Kessel run!

The First Wave of Action Figures: From G.I. Joe to Star Trek

From: http://io9.com/

By Charlie Jane Anders

Action figures are a fan's best friend. A squadron of Star Trek, Star Wars and comic book figures on your desk is the next best thing to having Darth Vader and Worf physically present in your cubicle to distract you from the horror of being trapped at work.

Maybe that's why the action figure industry is so huge, with billions of dollars in sales. But action figures weren't always quite so cool or as plentiful, and your desk would have been sad. When did action figures actually become awesome? We talked to some experts, in order to find out.

Top image: Tío Javi on Flickr.

So what are the things that make action figures awesome? In our book, there are a few things. 1) Being based on a cool movie, TV show, comic, or epic character. 2) Having lots of different figures so you can have them interact. 3) Having loads of cool accessories. 4) Being cool looking, and not obviously cheaply made.

To me, the first cool action figures were the Mego Star Trek figures, introduced in 1974 to take advantage of the rise of Trek's popularity in syndication. They weren't all that durable - I think I broke the knee joints of three or four Captain Kirk figures, leaving a small army of Kirk amputees to sit around the Enterprise bridge while the one intact Kirk went on away missions with Spock and McCoy. (Side note: Did you know Kirk's skin color got darker with each succeeding revision of the Trek figures?) But they were hella cool, and you could get a Mugatu action figure.

G.I. Joe

But the action figure story actually begins a decade before those Star Trek toys. Everyone agrees the first action figure was G.I. Joe, who was introduced in 1964 as a "male Barbie" to appeal to boys. The term "action figure" was coined to disguise the fact that it was basically a doll. According to Sharon Scott, author of Toys and American Culture: An Encyclopedia:

Don Levine of Hasbro was actively seeking a boys' toy that could equal the success Barbie was having in the girls' market. When an independent licensing agent named Stan Weston proposed the idea of the articulated soldier, Levine immediately snatched up the idea and began developing the product.

And G.I. Joe, in his early incarnations, was basically just a toy soldier, similar to the toy soldiers that had been mass-produced in the 1930s and earlier. The main differences according to Scott, were:

He had moving parts and a changeable wardrobe and could be outfitted to serve in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. Unlike the toy soldiers of the 30s and 40s who moved in companies and brigades, G.I. Joe is a one-man army that has the backup support of a small, but well equipped team.

Plus Joe was similar to Barbie in that the figure was cheap, but the endless accessories were expensive.

And according to John "Toyzilla" Marshall, author of Action Figures of the 1960s, Collecting Monster Toys and Comic Book Hero Toys, G.I. Joe actually had four different distinct figures, and outfits included "a scuba suit for the sailor, a flight suit for the Pilot, etc."

Joe didn't get "Kung-Fu Grip" until 1974. He didn't go into outer space until the late 1960s, when opposition to the Vietnam War was dampening demand for military toys. He didn't meet space aliens until the mid-1970s. The G.I. Joe we know today, with Cobra and Destro and Snake Eyes, was a 1980s thing.

Action Fact: According to Scott, the most valuable early action figure is the G.I. Joe prototype, which sold for $200,000 to Stephen Geppi in 2003, and now resides at Geppi's Entertainment Museum in Baltimore.

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But for a line of action figures that included an assortment of "characters, allies, and adversaries," you had to wait for Best of the West from Louis Marx & Company in 1965, says Marshall. Marx, according to Scott, was the first toymaker to realize that the more figures you released in a particular line, the more products you could move. Soon other action figure makers were following suit.

What are the crappiest and cheapest early action figures? According to Marshall:

Oh, there are so many. The Astro-Apes, Doctor Kromedome, Action Mike, Buddy Charlie… But all of them are of interest for one reason or another beyond their actual quality. There's one that stands out, though. Believe it or not, in 1975, Hasbro actually made their own GI Joe knockoff line to steal the thunder of GI Joe knockoffs such as Mister Action and Fighting Yank. It was called the Defenders, and the basic figure had five points of articulation (neck, shoulders, and hips) and was made out of cheap blow-molded (hollow) plastic. Many of the larger Defenders accessories barely made it to market back then, and ironically are some of the most sought-after items by many GI Joe collectors today.

The first licensed action figures

But the first action figure based on a TV or movie property was probably James Bond, which was introduced soon after G.I. Joe.

Says Marshall:

Gilbert released their James Bond and Man from Uncle figures as part of the spy craze merchandising in 1965. Captain Action arrived with the superhero craze of 1966. That's actually why GI Joe outlasted them into the 70s, because the GI Joe line was all-inclusive enough to add a few elements of a craze, without being all about the craze. For example, Mattel had a line of astronaut figures called Major Matt Mason, which fizzled as the heat from the moon landing cooled, GI Joe simply dropped their astronaut-related accessories and kept right on rolling.

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And Captain Action, the first superhero action figure, was profoundly weak. He was the all-purpose hero who could dress up as different licensed characters. Here's how Marshall explains it:

Captain Action was a slightly different take, as he was a character who dressed up like famous superheroes, as opposed to having a line of figures, each one of which was an individual superhero. But again, like GI Joe, you had the basic character (Captain Action) and sold-separately outfit sets for Batman, Spider-Man, etc. I love action figures but never liked Captain Action, because in his superhero costumes, he looks exactly like what he is - not Batman, but a guy wearing a Batman costume - and not a very good one, either. But in 1966, if you wanted a fully-poseable Batman in scale with your GI Joes, that was your option.

But the rarest, most valuable action figures of the 1960s that actually appeared on store shelves come from the Captain Action franchise, according to Marshall. They're the four DC Comics heroines "sold by Ideal in the late 60s as an offshoot of Captain Action. (Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Mera, and Batgirl.) Even in these hard times, they have retained their value, which is several thousand dollars for examples in unopened original boxed. And they are nigh-impossible to find loose and complete with all original parts."

The Rise and Fall of Mego

Really, the story of how action figures became awesome is the story of Mego, which produced the World's Greatest Superheroes toys in 1972 and the Star Trek toys in 1974. As Scott puts it, the World's Greatest Superheroes line "blew up the action figure scene."

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The World's Greatest Superheroes toys, remarkably, included 33 characters from both major superhero publishers. Including Batman, Captain Marvel (Shazam), Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, Iron Man, and Wonder Woman.

Says Marshall:

Mego wasn't the first, but they basically showed the world what a commitment to a license could achieve. Licensed figures from Gilbert and Ideal did well but stuck to a handful of core characters. Mego saw the advantage of having, for example, not just Batman, Robin, Joker, and a Batmobile, but the marketability of Penguin, Riddler, Batgirl, a Batcopter, a Batcycle, a Batcave playset and incredibly even a playset of Bruce Wayne's Wayne Foundation building. They even had a Montgomery Ward's store exclusive [consisting] of Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Clark Kent and Peter (Spider-Man) Parker.

And those Mego superhero toys have become ultra-rare, says Sharon Korbeck Verbeten, former editor of Toy Shop magazine and author of several books about toys and action figures:

The Mego superheroes are pretty rare, and hard to find in great shape. I came on as editor of Toy Shop in the mid 1990s, and even back then they were kind of the coveted action figures to find. Often, they weren't in their boxes if you found them, or you found them without their cape or accessories. I'm sure there's pretty active clubs still around, some online sites, certainly searching on eBay.

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Mego struck gold by sticking to licensed properties. Mego became the first company to release action figures based on a movie series in 1973, with its Planet of the Apes figures. According to Scott, this toy line included "four plastic primates and one eight-inch astronaut" - and was so successful that Mego focused on movie- and TV-themed figures afterwards. Image via Tío Javi on Flickr.

The Star Trek figures are pure gold, and like the superhero figures they included a few playsets, including an Enterprise bridge, a Transporter, and a version of the temple of Vaal from "The Apple." There were three waves of Trek figures, including a ton of aliens and all of the main crewmembers. (But not Chekov, Sulu, Nurse Chapel or Yeoman Rand.) For total Trek nostalgia, check out the Mego Museum.

There were tons of imitators of Mego's action figures, but none as successful as the original, at least during Mego's heyday. Says Scott:

Mego's Martin Abrams recognized the value of exclusive rights contracts with entertainment companies. By signing contracts for popular characters, such as The World's Greatest Superhero's, Star Trek, and Planet of the Apes, Mego put many toy manufactures without popular media connections out of business during the 1970s.

Until Mego made one galactic mistake. George Lucas approached Mego with the action figure rights to his then-unreleased Star Wars movie. But the company declined, on the basis that it didn't want to invest in every "flash in the pan" media property. Plus Mego was already developing a huge new toy line based on the Japanese Micronauts figures.

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After Mego said no to Star Wars, Kenner picked up the license instead, producing smaller, cheaper figures with dozens and dozens of characters. Kenner quickly started to dominate the action figure market. As Scott explains, Mego tried to compete by putting out tie-ins to other space-opera series like Buck Rogers and The Black Hole, but none of these toys were as popular as Star Wars figures.

Concludes Scott: "While many companies produced science fiction toys during the late 1970s and early 1980s, Kenner seemed to be the only one turning a profit. Mego declared bankruptcy in 1983."

Death of Old-Style Lightbulb Forces Easy-Bake Oven Makeover

By Leslie Guevarra

From: http://www.greenbiz.com

0diggsdigg

The phaseout of the traditional incandescent lightbulb to push energy efficiency in the U.S. has sent the lighting industry and retailers into overdrive to meet the requirements that take effect next January.

Now toymaker Hasbro is hastening to redesign a childhood classic. The Easy-Bake Oven, which uses a 100-watt bulb as its heat source, is getting a makeover.

“We are aware that the 100-watt incandescent lightbulb will no longer be available beginning in 2012,” Hasbro said in a statement. “In fall 2011, Hasbro will launch the Easy Bake Ultimate Oven, introducing a new way to bake for the next generation of chefs.”

Hasbro product photo.

Hasbro has already retooled its website to feature “Easy-Bake Microwave & Style” sets, a kit that can be used to make baked goods with fondant-style decorations in a microwave oven.

Inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame in 2006, the Easy-Bake Oven has frequently changed its look in the nearly half century since its debut in 1963, when the plaything was made by Kenner Products, now a division of Hasbro.

The original Easy-Bake looked like a pint-sized, four-burner range and oven. The most recent model is shown in Hasbro product photos above.

A 2006 model.

Throughout the years, the oven’s operating principle hasn’t changed much. But starting in fall, the new model will feature “a heating element that does not use a lightbulb and offers an extensive assortment of mixes reflective of the hottest baking trends for today,” according to Hasbro’s statement.

As GreenBiz.com readers know, lighting companies have introduced a host of new products in preparation for the rolling phaseout of incandescent bulbs, effective January 1, 2012. Under the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, 100-watt incandescent bulbs will be the first to go. Seventy-five-watt traditional bulbs follow in 2013 and sale of 40- and 60-watt bulbs are to end in 2014.

Among retailers, IKEA began pulling incandescents from its shelves in August and with the new year declared that it no longer sells any incandescents, even though the first stage of the phaseout was a year away and applies only to 100-watt bulbs.

With the retirement of the 100-watt lightbulb, the traditional Easy-Bake is destined to become a collector’s item, and those who have them in good working order will have to stockpile bulbs to keep using the toy.
The stockpile strategy, though it runs afoul of the government's energy efficiency campaign, is being contemplated by a significant percentage of Americans if a recent survey by Osram Sylvania is any indication. About 13 percent of the people responding to the latest Socket Survey said they intend to: “buy a lot of 100-watt lightbulbs while they are still produced and continue using them.”

Top image and first inset photo from Hasbro. Inset photo of a 2006 model from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

Kids try to decipher old tech

Des enfants d'une école au Québec sont placés devant des anciens objets des années 80/90 et doivent en deviner l'utilité.

© http://www.cyberpresse.ca
- Journaliste : Jean-Christophe Laurence
- Réalisation : Top Multimédia
- Classe de Cristina - Ecole St-Grégoire-le-Grand (Québec, Canada).

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Kids from a school in Québec, Canada, are in front of 80s 90s generation technologies have to find what are those objects used for.

© http://www.cyberpresse.ca
- Reporter : Jean-Christophe Laurence
- Producer : Top Multimédia
- School class of Cristina - Ecole St-Grégoire-le-Grand (Québec, Canada).

THIS MAN REALLY, REALLY LIKES E.T.

From: http://www.viceland.com/

Nick Gjoka got his first E.T. toy soon after he saw the film, when he was four. When he hit his teens he stepped up his game and started hunting for more obscure bits of E.T. merchandise in flea markets and yard sales. Then came eBay. “When I turned 21 or 22, that’s when I started to really collect,” he says. He’s now 32, and estimates there are thousands of items in his collection. He didn’t want to discuss such matters over the phone so we enjoyed this sprightly email exchange.

Vice: What’s your living situation?
Nick: In March, I moved in with my Grandmother who has Alzheimer’s, to take care of her in Pennsylvania. My collection is mostly boxed up in a storage spot. I don’t collect as much as I used to, but when I do find something I usually bring it here first or have the item shipped here and my family doesn’t mind. They think that it’s funny and they always ask questions about it.

What do you do for a living?
My “life” is on hold right now. All I do is take care of my grandmother. It truly is a 24/7 job. Everyday I also ride my bike (bicycles and no, not one with an E.T. on front), meditate, read, workout, and cook. My Gram and I like to take naps watching Lifetime TV network movies too. When I’m not doing this, I can be found (or not found) traveling, touring, cooking, skating, cycling, snowboarding and going to shows.

What do you think it is that compels you to collect?
I’m pretty sure it’s in the family. My parents collect and sell antiques. I was raised around it. An average summer holiday get away would be for a weekend of drag racing, flea markets, 50’s doo-wop, rock ‘n roll, and hot rods. I used to hate it back then but I look back at it now and I am glad that I was raised around that stuff. Besides that, I really like E.T. because it reminds me about my Grandfather that I had growing up. I can clearly remember opening one of my first E.T. toys at his house on Christmas morning. He was my only Grandfather growing up, and I thought maybe my collecting was a connection with him. When I was younger and had started collecting, E.T. items became an easy gift to get me, so all of a sudden I had a huge collection and started looking for more rare E.T. things.

Do you think there’s some OCD going on here?
After that comment I made up above (he was my only Grandfather, growing up and I thought maybe my collecting was a connection with him), I sound like some of the people on those reality TV shows about hoarding. I probably do have OCD with other things in my life but not with my collecting. Now it’s just an on-and-off hobby for me. It’s not like crack where I NEED to have this E.T. doll to where I would go beg someone for money. I’m a 31-year-old straightedge vegan guy so I don’t waste money on a Big Mac before washing it down with a beer after, so I have some extra money lying around. I’ll buy an E.T. item if the mood strikes and if it’s something that I don’t already have.

When people you meet find out about your E.T. collection, what do they think about it?
I typically don’t tell people. I have a couple of E.T. tattoos so sometimes someone may ask about them and it will lead into some other E.T. discussions. If I do meet someone who knows about my collection it is usually because a mutual friend might have mentioned it to them. More often then not, people are usually totally down with it and want to see it. A lot of people talk about an E.T. toy they had as a kid and they say something like, “If I can find it, I’ll give it to you.” I like when people try to find something I don’t already have. It’s nice.

Have you met any other big E.T. fans?
Well not to boast, but I AM THE BIGGEST E.T. FAN! Seriously though, I have met a few other collectors through eBay over the years. We’ll swap stories, collectibles etc. One other fan started collecting because his mum had an E.T. collection so he just continued it. Another collector from the UK is a little girl. E.T. is her favorite movie and her family buys her tons of E.T. stuff. Other collectors are fans of Spielberg’s movies and this being one of the most popular ones, they collect E.T. items.

What’s the most expensive E.T. thing you’ve bought?
The most expensive item that I paid for would be an E.T. clothes hamper. It is basically a life-size E.T. doll that opens in the back to put stuff in. Items that should have been more but I found for cheap were some candid production photos and crew items. The item that’s worth the most to me would be the E.T. toys that my grandfather gave me when I was a little kid.

What’s the worst piece of E.T. merchandise you’ve seen?
There are too many bootleg items to mention! The official red light-up finger that was sold in 1982 is pretty phallic and disturbing looking.

I hear you own a piece of E.T.’s foot.
I guess when I say “foot”, it’s kind of a stretch. It is really a piece of foam from the puppet’s foot. It was sent to Collegeville Costumes as a color swatch so they could get the color correct in the making of the E.T. Halloween costumes that they made in 1982. It was a plastic mask with a smock/bib plastic like top. The costume company couldn’t get the color correct so they sent a piece of the original E.T. from the film. I received it along with some correspondence letter between the producer of the film and someone at Collegeville Costumes.

What bootleg stuff have you got? Would you buy anything that was E.T. branded, even unofficial rubbish?
I have some ceramic E.T. dolls, some school supplies and a cookie jar. I like to buy more official stuff but once in a while I see some outrageous bootleg item that I have to have! A couple of my friends (not E.T. collectors) like to collect weird bootleg stuff too so we look out for each other. Along with that, another one of the E.T. collectors focuses on bootleg stuff so I try not to bid on it.

What about the Turkish E.T. rip-off?
You mean Badi? I have yet to see it.

What about E.T. porn?
Oh geez. I’ve heard about at least two different ones involving E.T. but I don’t bother with any of that.

Do you think you’ll stop collecting at some point?
I go in spurts. I will go for a week, checking eBay and then I’ll go for a month or two and not check it. If I got a fair offer for the collection, I would sell the whole thing!

Tell us about the Halloween parade, when you and your friends dress up and ride through New York.
NYC has an annual Halloween parade that goes up 6th Ave for over 20 blocks. It is a huge deal and people come out from all over! The first time my friends and I just wanted to ride around through Brooklyn and NYC on Halloween dressed up like Elliot, with E.T. in a basket on the front of our bikes. One of my friends that rode the first couple of times was also an E.T. fan and bit of a collector. Over the years it has evolved and the group became bigger and bigger. The last time we did it, we had it down to a science. We knew the best ways to attach the crates to the bikes, we had the E.T. bust already made, we had extra red hoodies, white blankets, and BMX bikes in case anyone wanted to join us. We had at least eight riders as opposed to the three we had the first time. After a friend would do it once they would always want to do it the next year too. It was soooooooo much fun!

You also run a Morrissey blog. How does Morrissey compare to E.T.?
I don’t think they are similar at all. I would love for someone to try and find some similarities. Some people are maniacs. They will over analyze stuff and somehow make a connection. Oh wait, how about this one? E.T. came out in 1982 and The Smiths started in 1982!!! Bam! there you go, there’s your connection. People are strange.

If E.T. came down and visited you and asked you to go off in his spaceship forever, would you go?
Those kind of ideas are on some next level. That’s some Star Trek nerd’s fantasy, not mine. It’s just a hobby for me and a way for someone to finally notice me in this cold miserable world.

ALEX GODFREY

You can see more of Nick’s collection at www.iloveet.com

Star Wars Jungle Gym

Thanks to our Geek Friends

First Look: New Clip from 'Toy Story 3' (Video)

Toy Story 3 at IGN.com

Kids Toys You Wish You Still Had

A lot of us remember collecting things like coins, stamps and baseball cards as kids. But toys? Not so much. And it's really a shame since some of our old vintage action figures, train sets and matchbox cars that we played with until the paint rubbed off are now worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars in mint condition. During tough economic times it would be great to sell off our old toys for cash, but most of us either destroyed our old toys or of course they were given away. Here are some kids toys you wish you still had.

1935 Lionel Train Set - $2500-$3000

You can pretty much take your pick of Lionel Train Sets from before 1960 and it's worth something. You probably heard your dad mention that he had one... and that Grandma gave it to your uncle who trashed it... and then there's probably some weeping since today one of these trains might be worth anywhere from $1000 to enough to buy a car. This particular set from 1935 is in decent shape, includes the original box and even though the cars aren't rare it's worth somewhere in the $2500-$3000 range.

1960s Vintage Smoking Toy Robot $10000

Does anyone even remember this thing? Well someone must since it sold for 10k on eBay... and that was with only 1 bid. The seller didn't want to part with this piece of nostalgia, but these tough times push us to part with our vintage plastic gold mines. To be fair though, most toys today just light up or talk, but rarely (okay never) actually smoke, so that is pretty cool. Ten thousand dollars worth of cool? Apparently.

1959 Barbie - $7500

Who knew in 1959 that Barbie would live to be 50 (and look better than ever) and be worth $7500? If they did maybe they would have left a few more of those $3 dolls in their box rather than dressing them up and cutting their hair.

1963 GI Joe Prototype- $200000

In 1963 Joe, Don Levine created a prototype toy soldier that measured 11 1/2 inches tall and had 21 movable parts. That prototype happens to be what G. I. Joe action figures were based on and was recently sold for 200k. To be fair a prototype is probably a lot more rare than the mass produced action figure, but with the way little boys treat their toys we imagine it's not easy to get a hold of any old GI Joe's any more.

1993 Zelda Gameboy Game - $1000

Fans and collectors willing to pay for nostalgia aren't just looking at bits of plastic from the 60s. Some collectors are willing to pay top dollar for classic video games... and since video games have only really been around for 20+ years a game made in 1993 would fall into the "classic games" category. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening for the Gameboy still in its original packaging fetches a thousand dollars on eBay. And you thought $60 for an Xbox game was expensive!

1966 Opel Diplomat Matchbox Car - $9000

Every little boy had at least a few dozen matchbox cars as a kid, but smashing them into each other and scratching those tiny wheels across the sidewalk definitely took its toll. That's of course why you didn't think anything of donating your old toy cars to your younger neighbor when you were finally old enough for some real wheels. You're really kicking yourself if you remember having a 1966 Opel Diplomat Matchbox Car which is worth $9000 today... which by the way is probably worth more than the actual Opel Diplomat.

1983 Cobra Commander -$1425

Ever since that cartoon that came out in the 80s G.I. Joe toys have never been the same. Sure, it's no 12" soldier with kung fu grip, but this 1983 Cobra Commander figure is a classic nonetheless.

1930s Mickey Cowboy on Pluto Celluloid Windup Toy - $6100

What makes this old Mickey Mouse toy so valuable?The fact that it's from 1930 Prewar Japan, the included extremely rare original box, the manufacturing defect on Pluto's foot and maybe even the fact that celluloid isn't used anymore due to how flammable makes this vintage Mickey Mouse Cowboy Celluloid Windup Toy is truly a rare find. But we'll still probably stick to the cheap plastic stuff you can find at the Disney store for $30.

1984 Transformers Starscream Figure - $1225

Factory sealed with an AFA (Action Figure Authority) rating of 90 this 1984 Transformers Starscream figure is a steal at $1225. And if you don't know nerd collector speak that breaks down to this popular Transformers character has never opened... ever. So don't expect your beat up old transformers that are covered in dust and scratches to sell for anything near that price.

1966 Batman Robot Toy - $1985

Remember a time when Batman had light blue tights and a buttery smooth voice and rather than black body armor and laryngitis? This classic 1966 Batman toy brings us back to the good ol' days of the caped crusader with those goofy painted on eyebrows. Although we have no idea why Batman's head lights up.... we don't remember that ever happening on the show with Adam West.

1979 Star Wars Boba Fett - $1300

It's really no surprise that vintage Star Wars toys are worth money today... even if you only have 1 figure still in the box you could go on a pretty sweet vacation if you sold it. But being the foolish kids we were we never would have thought to hang on to the box. All we knew was Star Wars was awesome and we wanted to take our Boba Fett action figure everywhere. It wasn't until a few years ago when the new Star Wars movies came out that everyone thought to save the new action figures... which will be worthless because everyone saved them.

2000 LEGO Statue of Liberty - $2500

If you still have LEGO sets from when you were a kid don't mix them in with your toddler's collection just yet... they may be worth something. You might be able to get a few bucks if you still have the elusive Yellow Castle set from the 70s and even something more recent like this 2000 LEGO Statue of Liberty sculpture. Only 9 years ago it sold for $200 new and now goes for over ten times that on Amazon.

Beauty of Battle Cat - '80s Toy Paintings

We here at StreetLevel love our '80s toys, but San Francisco artist Robert Burden takes his love to a whole other level. Like Adrian Riemann, Burden has taken to making high-art out of He-Man. He recently spent 420 hours painting He-Man's faithful sidekick Battle Cat. Burden also spent a year painting his man-sized Voltron he titled, "Defensor Mundi."

Inspired by his personal collection of '80s action figures, he's also painted The Penguin, G.I. Joe villian Serpentor and Hulk Hogan, among others. Watch time-lapse videos of him painting both Battle Cat and Voltron after the jump.

Ten Awesome G1 Transformers Collectibles

Ten best old school Transformers toys for adults who grew up in the 80s.

read more | digg story

8 Old School Toys That Got Badass Makeovers

By James Kent

Some say the children of this generation will be the first in a long while to have life harder than their parents. The economy, the environment, the wars... the future has looked brighter. We would feel sorry for them, but then we see their fucking toys, which pretty much makes the stuff we played with look like bullshit. #8. NERF Guns The Concept: Back in the 80s, toymaker Hasbro was forced to answer the difficult question, "How does one harvest a profit from young boys' innate need to blow each other away with firearms, whilst keeping lawsuits to a minimum?" The answer was NERF: harmless foam ball-shooting, air-powered toys. Then: The first NERF shooter, uninspiringly named "Blast-A-Ball," required raw elbow grease to fire balls at other children. The harder the pump, the farther the ball flew. The execution was simple, yet painful, which appealed to the kids. Its total lack of resemblance to a real gun kept moms relatively happy as well. Now: Ladies and gentleman, meet the NERF Vulcan EBF-25. Presumably the fucking nightmare of mothers everywhere, this battery-operated (SIX D-cells!), belt-fed, fully automatic monstrosity can rain down a shitstorm of NERF darts for as long as the 25 or 50 round belts will last. A far cry from the Blast-A-Ball indeed. No toy in history has better allowed young boys to greet the arrival of their little sister home from school with a reenactment of the Normandy beach landing. The only downside is the limited range. If only you had some kind of... Oh, yeah. NERF made a sniper rifle. The victims will never even hear the shot that NERFed them. #7. Super Soaker The Concept: First released in the late 80s, the Super Soaker was also created by Hasbro, possibly as a more refreshing version of their NERF gun. It was designed to harness the ungodly power of water and wind into a small children's toy. Since then it has remained at the forefront of traditional "summer fun" imagery. Then: The first Super Soaker was, believe it or not, designed by an actual rocket scientist named Dr. Lonnie Johnson. It used a very rudimentary pump to pressurize water and a simple valve and trigger system to shoot it, which is disappointingly about as far from rocket science and nuclear engineering as the design could have been. Now: This is the appropriately named Super Soaker Monster XL. With the capacity to hold 3500 milliliters of water (or urine, depending on who you're playing with) and the ability to shoot liquid humiliation up to 41 feet, the whole rocket scientist thing is starting to make sense. The Monster XL also features not one, but TWO barrels with 6 different nozzles per barrel. That adds up to about 36 different ways to put out your best friend's eye. The ludicrous weight and the fact that it takes 43 fucking pumps to get the water up to pressure offer up reasonable disadvantages, but since water gun fights are always half water gun fight and half "who brought the biggest dick" competition, none of that really matters. #6. Hot Wheels The Concept: We're sure we're not telling you anything you don't already know when we say that Hot Wheels are miniature die-cast cars with dynamic multi axular momentum technology (ie, they roll). They are usually based on real-life production cars but sometimes are modeled after bad acid trips, with wheels added later (for the rolling). Shortly after the introduction of the cars, Mattel launched various tracks to take full advantage of the cars' rollability. Then: The classic tracks were just gravity mixed with about five feet of plastic all topped off with a small jump at the end. The "jump" was complete with a flat "ring of fire" cardboard cutout, so as to help the kids send a message that said "I'm edgy, yet boring and miserable." Now: As a rule, the moment classic toys are introduced to electricity, shit starts getting out of hand. This rule has not been lost on Mattel who recently released this: The Speed Racer Sky Jump Track. This is the culmination of cars, track, electric motors and gravity all wrapped into one giant ball of sheer what-the-fuckery. We've examined the photos and we've even watched this commercial for the thing and still have no idea what's going on. It is awesome, however, so we really couldn't care less how it works. #5. Transformers The Concept: Transformers toys are remembered as being awesome, even if the backstory left some unanswered questions (what were the Autobots called before they landed on Earth and chose to be cars? Did they really think people wouldn't notice a bunch of driverless vehicles bombing around town? What if one gets pulled over for speeding?). Then: The first toys from the 80s were not quite as awesome as you probably remember them. The car usually transformed into a cumbersome and downright awkward-looking robot. And even though Optimus Prime up there couldn't move around a whole lot in his robot form, he did transform in about four easy steps. Now: With the 2008 release of the new Transformers movie, Hollywood's godless pedaling of cheap merchandise called on Hasbro to release a newer, updated version of the classic Optimus Prime. We'll let this video do the talking. Now that looks like a freaking robot. And it transforms and walks by itself! Okay, that is a lie. You still have to do it by hand and it takes like 20 minutes (the new one has more moving parts in his feet than the old one had in his whole body). To make Optimus Prime far more badass they wound up creating the the goddamn Rubik's Cube of toys. You know, like, if the Rubik's Cube weren't already a toy. Shut up.

#4.

Pedal Cars

The Concept:

Just as a baby goose is born with the genetic desire to pack up and head south each winter, young children are born with the same intrinsic desire to be on the open road, in a car (also like baby geese, children are sticky and annoying; but that's an issue for a separate article).

Then:

Take one part bicycle, two pages out of the Flintstones automobile design book and one hard-spoiled child and you have a pedal car. It seems like a really fun idea in theory but, in actuality, the single-speed gearing of a bike mixed with the weight of the metal shell, seats and wheels meant operation of the thing bordered on child labor. Still, the pedal car remained very sought after for generations to come.

Now:

Somewhere along the line, the pedal car needed an update. Something that addressed modern childrens' growing resentment of physical activity. What it needed was a motor.

Toymaker Fischer Price was the knight in shining armor on this one with the creation of their Power Wheels line. At first, Power Wheels vehicles were very basic with small electric motors and rudimentary Jeep-like styling. Now, Fischer Price has unleashed a car that says "When I grow up, I want to be too rich to care about the environment." This giant bastard comes with tinted windows, a set of dubs and even a fully functional FM transmitter which, no doubt, blasts shitty radio static through its real-live rear subwoofers.

The icing on the cake? It has to be the "LVNLG" ("Living Large" for the non-license plate slang savvy) vanity plate. It's a subtle little message that tells your classmates precisely how you're living (large, with the implication that you are also in charge).

#3.

G.I. Joe

The Concept:

The G.I. Joe line of toys has always been the definition of "action figures," featuring moving joints, changeable outfits and ripped man-bodies underneath. If this all sounds a bit gay on paper than it should be noted that G.I. Joe figures are all armed with a vast array of weaponry. Also, if you ever suggest that Snake Eyes might be gay, make no mistake, you will be dead before you even see the movement in the darkness.

Then:

Back in the 60s, Hasbro was commissioned to play down the negative stigma surrounding US soldiers fighting in the Vietnam War. The result was four, 12-inch tall dress-up dolls featuring realistic camouflage fatigues and weapons of the time. The figurines represented the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. There was no real storyline at the time which limited the allure of the toys.

Now:

Somewhere along the line, G.I. Joe picked up the familiar storyline that we all best associate with the toys: G.I. Joe Team vs. the Evil Cobra Organization. A classic tale of good vs. evil. Well guess what. Somewhere else along the line the franchise picked up a very different storyline and a new look to boot, highlighted by the newest figurine: The DARK NINJA MASTER.

The Hasbro website explains it best: "The rogue DARK NINJA MASTER was exiled to a cave beneath Arashikage Mountain for betraying the ninja clans. After finding the Moon's Blood, a mystical stone of great power, he was able to channel the energy of dead ninjas, making him almost unstoppable. Seeking revenge, he has emerged from his subterranean prison to destroy all ninjas. Only two people can stop him: STORM SHADOW and SNAKE EYES. The two adversaries must join forces, for only by working together will they be strong enough to defeat this evil super-ninja."

Wow.

#2.

Yo-yo

The Concept:

Long before the internet came along and ruined life as we knew it, Children amused themselves with the most primitive of toys. At the top of the food chain was the yo-yo. Believed to date back to around 500 B.C. in Greece, and even believed to have been used as a crude weapon in the Philippines, the yo-yo (pronounced yo-yo) made a roaring comeback in the 1920s as a toy, and to a lesser extent as a weapon.

Then:

The first commercialized yo-yos in America were sold in vast majority by entrepreneur Donald Duncan and children couldn't get enough of them. The design was elementary: two wooden or plastic discs, connected by an axle with a string tied to it. To keep the user from flinging the yo-yo comically through the nearest window pane, the string featured a tiny finger loop at the opposite end. A loop that, as we all remember, tightens relentlessly with each toss until the finger tip is a healthy shade of purple.

After each throw, physics would prevail and the yo-yo would wind itself back up, right into the user's hand. That is, unless, the string has been twisted in any way, in which case the yo-yo proceeds to just fucking hover above the ground, spinning around mockingly. What fun!

Now:

In the past 80 or so years, the yo-yo has seen some pretty mundane innovations, such as a ball bearing axle for better spin efficiency and the addition of flashing lights, to name a few. But finally, someone has rolled up their sleeves and is ready to fuck shit up all over the yo-yo world. Meet the ReGEN; half yo-yo, half MP3 player and just a pinch retarded.

The most groundbreaking aspect of the design is the fact that apparently just 10-12 throws an hour will provide more than enough juice. Which is good news if you have a long drive to work, or have to take the crowded subway in your daily grind. It also holds up to 200 songs to ensure that your wrist gives out way before your music does.

"But," we wondered, "How do you listen to music if you're constantly throwing this little robot?" The answer is wireless Bluetooth headphones. Here's a thought: When the music-listening technology that comes with today's yo-yos is cooler and more advanced than the music-listening technology that came with portable CD players in our day, the youth of today officially rescinds its right to ever complain about anything. Ever.

#1.

Toy Airplanes

The Concept:

For whatever reason, young boys are all drawn to the same passions in youth: cars, guns and airplanes. Mark our words: The toy company that designs some kind of all-terrain falcon with a built-in flamethrower is the company that is going to crush the competition.

Then:

Ah yes, the balsa wood toy airplane. This timeless piece of aeronautical simplicity came in a thin little paper bag containing five or six pieces that were easily assembled into a painfully fragile, questionably airworthy, model plane.

A descent throw might yield 8 seconds of shit-your-pants excitement until the inevitable crash landing sheared a wing off. If you were the rich kid on the block, your plane might have come with a faux propeller that basically A) provided some serious, flight hindering drag and B) made all your poor friends hate you.

Now:

If there was one thing the toy planes of yonder were lacking, it was controllability. Guaranteed crash landings and the subsequent walks of shame to go pick up the pieces started to wear a little thin. The advent of radio-control provided an answer for that. But for model builders Aviation Design, that was child's play. Hense, the birth of the FALCON 7X business jet.

We still can't decide what the craziest aspect of this "toy" is. Perhaps it's the retractable landing gear. Perhaps it's the fully furnished interior complete with automatic stairway (for the new CEO Barbie?). Perhaps it's the actual, working jet engines, all three of them. Or maybe it's the ridiculous fucking size of the thing.

Yeah, that's definitely it. It's actually big enough to show up on radar. Too bad one crash would set you back a cool four grand.

Still, we want one. Please send this giant toy plane monster to the Cracked Headquarters for Christmas, please. Or, at the very least, send us one of these...

...to shoot other people's planes down with.