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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Five Cheeseball Disney Promo Videos

Disneyland is pushing 60 years old and, like most people nearing that milestone, the park has had its fair share of cheeseball moments over the past six decades.

More specifically I'm talking about Disney's long history of promotional videos they produce when promoting a new park, attraction or event.

Check out five of Disney's cheesiest promo videos after the jump.

5. Space Mountain

Space Mountain debuted in 1977 in the park and, according to this video that announced the attraction's arrival, so did horrible hairdos and a terrible sense of fashion.

4. Disneyland Main Street Electrical Parade
Is this a bad acid trip or a trailer for a slasher film? Neither! But this 1986 promo for Disneyland's Main Street Electrical Parade sure feels like a little bit of both. "Out of the darkness it will come... and it will make your eyes melt out of their sockets before it eats your brain!"

3. A Day at Disneyland (Part 1)

Created in early nineties for people who couldn't afford camcorders, this souvenir video allows viewers to watch costumed characters ride the attractions from the comfort of their own home. And hey, buying this video is way cheaper than flying your family of four to California to go to the actual park! Below is just the first ten minutes of the half-hour long video, which begs the question: If you can blow a half hour of your day watching this crap, what in the hell is wrong with you?

2. Grad Night Promo

Created in 1996 to promote the park's annual event for graduating seniors, this promo video reeks of middle-aged adults trying to appeal to what they think high school students are "down with, dude!" They've got hip-hop! They've got alternative! They've got fucking rollerblades! And they have 30-year-old actors who last roamed the halls of a high school when Ronald Reagan was president!

1. Splash Mountain Rap

Holy. Shit. Balls. This thing was supposedly produced in the nineties, which I guess is almost accurate considering the ride debuted in the park on July 17, 1989, but if this video doesn't look like the eighties barfed all over it I don't know what does. This "music video" features actor Scott Valentine (Mallory's boyfriend Nick from Family Ties) as he raps (HE RAPS?!?) about the new attraction. Holy. Shit. Balls. Again. (High-five to my friend Shawn for bringing this one to my attention.)


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