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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Keith Richards’ Autobiography: Setting Fire to Playboy Mansion, Hallucinating Cops As Dwarves Etc. Etc

By Travis Woods

Johnny Depp To Direct A Keith Richards Documentary  Keith Richards’ Autobiography: Setting Fire to Playboy Mansion, Hallucinating Cops As Dwarves Etc. Etc.
In honor of the coolest guitarist of all time’s upcoming autobiography, Life, The Guardian UK has collected a series of 20 staggering revelations from Keith Richards’ long and ludicrously storied life.  From getting caught dropping acid and mistaking his arresting police officers for dwarves, setting fire to the Playboy Mansion, injecting heroin in his “bum,” and swapping wives and lovers with Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger, Life is a cavalcade of ridiculous and extreme living.  It’s also pretty hilarious.  Check out a collection of the top five revelations after the jump.

1.  On the night of the infamous 1967 Redlands drug bust, Keef was so far gone on LSD that when the police arrived at his Sussex country mansion, he mistook them for uniformed dwarves, welcoming them in with open arms.
2.  He has tight veins. So tight, in fact, that he and his doctors struggle to find them; when he took heroin he had to inject it into his muscles, and sometimes the flesh of his bum. He describes this practice in the book as “interesting” but “not politically correct”.
3.  He once nearly burned down the Playboy Mansion (in his words: “basically it’s a whorehouse”). At a party in the 1970s, he and sax player Bobby Keys accidentally set fire to a bathroom while playing “smörgåsbord” with their doctor’s drugs. When staff finally broke down the door to put out the fire, a drugged-up Keef, oblivious to the flames, asked: “How dare you burst in on our private affair?”
4.  He’s a fan of the corny James Bond pun. Take this corker, for example, describing the night Brian Jones was taken to hospital after throwing a punch at then-girlfriend Anita Pallenberg and smashing his fist into a metal window frame: “He was never good at connecting with Anita.” Genius.
5.  He used to live in a Nazi mansion. In 1971, Keith moved with Pallenberg and their first son Marlon to a French villa named Nellcôte. During the German occupation of France in the second world war, Nellcôte was the local Gestapo headquarters, and there were still swastikas on the radiators when Keef arrived. It was there that the Stones recorded their 10th studio album, Exile on Main Street.