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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Blaze of glory: Marijuana's greatest moments in sports

By DAVE CAREY
From: http://www.covers.com/

Sports are littered with shrines to the greatest players of all-time: The Pro Football Hall of Fame, the Hockey Hall of Fame and the Baseball Hall of Fame. But as players evolve and change, it’s important these institutions change with them.

That’s why Covers.com is proud to present the inaugural class into the Pot Head Hall of Fame.

This group of five tokers was selected by a committee and will get their busts blazed into our imaginary venue on April 20, 2010 in – where else – Miami, Fla.

So without further ado, let’s look at those legendary athletes who braved police, drug tests, public scrutiny and the munchies to make our first class.

Ricky Williams, Miami Dolphins – The dreadlocks are more than a fashion statement

Seriously, were you expecting Peyton Manning?

It’s hard to look anywhere else but at the former Texas standout when trying to find the finest aficionados of the sticky icky. But Hell, if your real name was Errick Lynne Williams, Jr., and you enjoyed giving interviews with your helmet on you probably would have hit the cheeba, too.

During his roller-coaster career, he failed three drug tests and squeezed in a semester at the California College of Ayurveda studying ancient Indian holistic medicine. And I’m sure a steady diet of hippie lettuce during his stint at a Buddhist temple in Asia kept him in about the same game shape as his time packing bowls in the CFL.

Some people still might not be sold on Williams being No. 1 on our list, but the same guy who used to have his entire name on his jersey in New Orleans also was caught on film doing something only a stoner can truly appreciate. There is footage of him eating at an IHOP – and seriously, who does that if they aren’t high?

Michael Phelps, Swimmer – Known more for his bong toke than his breast stroke

I know, I know, too easy. But how fast can someone go from being known for holding gold medals to being known for holding a bong?

And it wasn’t even a water bong. It makes you wonder if the guy’s legendary 12,000 calorie-a-day diet wasn’t made up mostly of ding-dongs and Funyuns. I doubt if he can even remember which stripper he is dating this week.

However, after visiting Mr. Phelps favorite gentlemen’s club for “journalistic purposes” I can assure readers of two things: First, the man has good taste. And second, the girls there swear he is a crappy tipper. But again, this coming from a writer who was thanked by one of the strippers for helping her afford a plane ticket to California at the end of the night.

Regardless, a legendary lung capacity served Phelps well during his victory rip and don’t expect him to let those air balloons go to waste any time in the near future. He still has two more years to go before London. They say his training is under way, but after looking at his infamous snapshot, I think he needs to start actually mixing the pool and some water into his regimen.

Nate Newton, Dallas Cowboys – Momma’s don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys

Here’s one guy who wasn’t afraid to push mad weight. The former Super Bowl winner made white panel vans more popular than child molesters when he got busted with 213 pounds of pot, just a few years after retiring.

To put that in perspective, the Center for Disease Control says the average American man weighs just 191 pounds. But not to be outdone, Newton was busted again five weeks later with another 175 pounds of the sweet herb.

That’s nearly 400 pounds of Mary Jane – or roughly what Willy Nelson used to smoke in three days. Other things in the world that weigh 400 pounds: a Welsh pony, an average male lion and a 500cc motorcycle. For the record, this is what around 400 pounds of pot looks like.

Ross Rebagliati, Snowboarder - Canadian snowboarder is to weed what Tina Turner is to legs

Admit it, you forgot all about this fan of the ganja. The Canadian made headlines around the world when he tested positive for marijuana after he won a gold medal in 1998.

Besides spending his time WAY north of the border, Rebagliati has gotten political recently, announcing this fall he wanted to seek a nomination from the Liberal Party. One of the biggest pieces of their platform? You guessed it, legalize dope.

But considering this guy also successfully won a defamation suit against a Canadian TV station for creating a soap opera character too closely based on him, don’t put anything past this grass master.

In the epic YouTube interview below, Rebagliati discusses having a total lack of motivation and not being good with things like money. Shocker. The best part? He used to live in a cabin down by the lake. Is that like a van down by the river Chris Farley talked about in his famous Saturday Night Live sketch?

Corie Blount, NBA journeyman – Blount is dangerously close to blunt

With all the great performances by NBA players through the years and their undeniable love of the chronic, it makes you wonder how Blount is the only NBA player that shows up on our list.

The former Bull, Cavalier, Sixer, Laker, Warrior, Sun and Raptor rolled to more than 2,000 points and 2,000 rebounds in his career, but his greatest hustle came off the court in 2008.

He was busted with 29 pounds of pot – throw in three illegal firearms to sweeten the deal – and played just as bad defense in court as on the court, telling the judge that all that Yukon Gold was for just him and a friend.

The judge’s response? "Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much."

Let’s just let Jim Rome take care of this one.

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