Zazzle Shop

Screen printing

Thursday, August 6, 2009

10 Movie Drunks We Want to Share a Pint With

We wouldn’t mind doing a few keg stands with these movie lushes.

Billy Bob Thornton (Willie) -- Bad Santa

Can you really blame a guy who plays Santa for hitting the bottle before heading into work? He deals with hundreds of whining, smelly kids every day and his sidekick is an evil elf who [SPOILER ALERT] ends up trying to kill him. That’s worth at least one hard egg nog at 9AM.

Will Ferrell (Frank the Tank) -- Old School

Frank is like your favorite uncle. He'll buy you liquor, funnel a few beers at your party and cap off the night with some streaking and a trip to the local KFC.

Kevin Heffernan (Farva) -- Super Troopers

The best part about drinking with a cop is it greatly reduces your chances of spending the night in the slammer. But with Farva, there’s always a chance you’ll get to watch him beat up a bartender who refuses to provide a liter of Jager.

Adam Sandler (Billy) -- Billy Madison

A huge mansion, every toy you can imagine and more booze money than you could ever spend make Billy one of the best drinking buddies you could ask for. Plus, you’ll have a great story about the time you got smashed with a grade schooler.

Daniel Day-Lewis (Daniel Plainview) -- There Will Be Blood

Daniel is definitely the kind of guy you want on your side in a bar fight, but we suggest you do your drinking somewhere other than the bar down at the bowling alley.

Jay Chandrasekhar (Barry) -- Beer Fest

After a night out with Barry, there’s a good chance you’ll wake up naked in the woods, next to a deer you killed with your bare hands…and teeth.

Martha MacIsaac (Becca) -- Super Bad

Get lit with the only lady on our list of lushes and she might end up giving you “The best blow-jay ever …. With her mouth.”

Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow) -- Pirates of the Caribbean

A pirate’s best friend is rum and a drunk’s best friend is a hilarious monkey. Jack seems to have easy access to both.

Will Smith (Hancock) -- Hancock

A drunken super hero is every frat boy’s fantasy. He can play beer pong, pound some shots and still have enough left in the tank to save the day from whoever the villain was in Hancock. We sort of lost interest half-way through that movie.

Joaquin Phoenix (Johnny Cash) -- Walk the Line

We’re really just looking for an excuse to have a few cocktails with the recently insane, Joaquin. The night will either end up with an impromptu hipster rap concert or a rousing version of “Ring of Fire.” We would be hoping for the latter.

0 comments: