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Friday, October 3, 2008

MLB Playoff Preview: Hot Fans Edition

As October rolls in so too do the MLB Playoffs. After 162 games 8 teams remain for a chance to make it to the World Series. Below are the divisional series which begin today. But as always, just sports isn’t enough, so we’ve put together a ton of hot fans to help guide you through the action. Because, really, if you’ve got sports and babes, what else do you really need?

Check out MLB Playoff Preview: Hot Fans Edition after the jump!

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The Defending World Series Champions will take on one of the hottest teams in baseball. This match-up should come down to pitching. I think the Angels bullpen should be the edge they need to overtake the Red Sox in four games.

Angels def. Red Sox 3-1

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Chicago White Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays

The surprise team of the year the Tampa Bay Rays will play host to the last team in the playoffs. The White Sox have had to play 3 different teams in 3 days just to claim a spot in the postseason. Meanwhile the Rays have been able to gather themselves and rest before the playoff push.

Rays def. White Sox 3-2

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Los Angeles Dodgers v. Chicago Cubs

The Dodgers got a big boost with the trade deadline acquisition of Manny Ramirez. This move shot the Dodgers into the postseason, but I don’t think it will be enough to overtake the best team in the National League.

Cubs def. Dodgers 3-1

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Milwaukee Brewers v. Philadelphia Phillies

The Phills won the highly contentious NL East while the Brewers had some tough times down the stretch but still found themselves in the postseason. I have no real reason for this prediction, just a total hunch.

Brewers def. Phillies 3-2

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If I were a Rich Frog- all day long I'd.....

Peugeot RCHyMotion4

Hall 1 at Paris is a bit like visiting Mars, dominated as it is by the French Big Three brand names Peugeot, Citroen, and Renault. They're not sold in the U.S., and they don't sell all that well in the rest of Europe so most of their offerings appear completely unfamiliar. So it's fun to pretend to be a patriotic Frenchman with no preconceived notions about or knowledge of cars and simply shop based on emotions. Might as well pretend to be rich, no?



My first stop was the Peugeot stand where the stunning low-slung RC HyMotion4 concept was twirling around on the turntable. So low-slung, it could compete with Aston Martin's Rapide sedan on looks alone (at least amongst rich French patriots). Sadly, it's not for sale.

Peugeot 607

The big Pug sedan that is for sale is the 607, which just looks way too conventional and boring both inside and out. This is France, man, vive la difference! And sacre bleu! 46,000 Euros with a lousy four-banger diesel? I don't think so

Peugeot 407

The 407 Coupe at least appeals to the eye, and a nice one like this goes for 47,000 Euros but at least packs a 2.7-liter diesel good for 28 mpg. (Remember these prices include the incredibly steep French taxes.)

Renault Ondelios

The Renault stand was an almost total disappointment. If I were patient, I might try to wait for something to come of the wacky Ondelios concept, which packs six bizarre LaZBoy recliners into a two-box shape that looks like it has a load in it's drawers. (The middle row is shown pushed back against the third row for max lay-back.)

Renault Laguna front
Renault Laguna Coupe rr

Renault has stopped making its quirky Vel Satis D-segment luxo-cruiser, so the best I could do here was the new Laguna coupe. Similar, slightly awkward new face as the rest of the Lagunas, but the rear saves it.

Citroen C5

There's much more to love at the Citroen stand. It's tempting to go straight for the top-of-the-line C6, with its concave rear glass that pays homage to all the great Citroen flagships of yore, but I was drawn to the more sporting new C5 Berline. Its steering wheel hub remains stationary, and houses controls for everything you use frequently, its dash features reconfigurable displays, the headlining is alcantara, it's just way cool. Prices start at $38K, but "mine" is $46K with a V-6 diesel and all the trimmings. C'est si bon.

Sneak Peak of Aston One-77 in the flesh




PARIS — This is as much as Aston Martin wants us actually to see of the $2,100,000 Project One-77 here on the 2008 Paris Auto Show floor. Inside Line persuaded Aston's people to hike up the Savile Row tailored skirt to show us a little skin, and design director Marek Rauchman told us as much as he could without compromising his job.

Most of the story is clear already: one limited run of 77 cars, a 700-plus-horsepower 7.3-liter V12, full carbon fiber monocoque chassis, old school hand-wheeled aluminum body, and start of deliveries by October 2009. Oh, and Aston has already spoken closely with more than 77 intent customers, according to company representatives.

The current non-runner semi-exposed in Paris is not yet of the aluminum and carbon fiber variety, but is all of milled applewood, design director Rauchman tells IL. "This is the embodiment of our past and the future," says Rauchman. "There's a return to our roots with the fully hand-formed aluminum panels, and then there are all of the very latest technologies on board that such a customer demands," he says.

That technology is sure to include a fully adjustable suspension, six-speed (some say seven-speed) paddle-shift gearbox, and the ceramic brake discs seen first on 2007's DBS, which by the math this Project One-77 costs five times more than. We also spotted fairly hard-walled 20-inch Pirelli P Zero tires front and rear wrapped around the stunning custom alloys.

Standing on the same level as the Project One-77 and then doing the same with the DBS revealed that the One-77 is a good four inches less in height than the DBS, wider by about three inches, and roughly the same length. The front spoiler lip and rear diffuser in carbon fiber betray the fact that an intensely quick machine awaits.

By Rauchman's account, using aluminum and carbon fiber in such abundance assures distinct rigidity and lightness. As for the design, Rauchman describes each viewing as "a collective dropping of jaws."

Why the name One-77? "The number 75 just seemed way too obvious and normal," Rauchman told IL. "The number 77 was just two lucky sevens. That and the actual fact that many of the toolings we use for the car have a life of just eighty or so uses."

What this means to you: You now know even more about another car that you cannot afford. Aston is entering a phase of shameless profiteering that comes of leading a life of sin.

2010 Mustang Fender



DEARBORN, Michigan — We're not sure which is more painful: waiting for full images of the new Aston Martin One-77 or of the 2010 Ford Mustang. In any event, both companies continue to taunt us with a series of "teaser" images.

The latest in a continuing series of Mustang striptease shots shows the car's front fender, mirror and part of a headlamp.

We won't try to overanalyze it; you can be the judge.

Look for the complete car to surface next month at the 2008 Los Angeles Auto Show.

What this means to you: Remember, this isn't a ground-up redesign, but the 2010 Mustang will still receive a substantial face lif

The moment a grey heron catches a baby rabbit by the ears, drowns it, then swallows the thing whole

By Daily Mail Reporter

These amazing pictures show how cruel nature can sometimes be as a grey heron snacks on a rabbit.

Herons mainly eat fish but will also take birds and small mammals. This one was searching for a meal when it spotted the baby rabbit emerging from a hole.

Swooping down it grabbed its prey by the ears, took it to water and drowned it - then swallowed the rabbit whole.

Enlarge Heron

What a catch: The heron grabs hold of the unsuspecting baby rabbit

Enlarge Heron

Time for the kill: The hungry bird takes its catch to the waterside

Wildlife photographer Ad Sprang captured the dramatic images in Vianen, Holland.

'I was trying to get some nice shots of this grey heron,' said the 56-year-old Dutchman.

'After taking several shots, a little rabbit appeared out of a hole.

'The heron was interested in it and slowly approached the little rabbit. You could feel the tension.'

Heron

Death throes: The heron holds its prey under the water to drown it

Enlarge Heron

Big gulp: As the rabbit disappears down the heron's throat only the legs can be seen

Obviously hungry, the adult bird, which averages about 100cm (3ft) in height and has a 1.95m (6ft) wingspan, made its move.

'In a split second, the bird caught the rabbit,' said Sprang. 'I managed to take two photos and the bird flew away with its food in its bill.'

Sprang followed the bird by car. He added: 'It landed in some water and I took several photos of the rest of the story.

'I have often seen herons catching prey like mice and fish but catching a rabbit was a surprise.'

In the Netherlands, the grey heron has become very common and has moved into urban environments in great numbers.

There, the herons hunt as they usually would but also make use of food discarded by humans and even visit zoos at feeding times.

7 Sarah Palin Impersonators


Who Are So Good - It's Scary...Hockey Moms Unite!!

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The 8 Movies to See in the Month of October

Monthly Movie Guide

Posted by Neil Miller (neil@filmschoolrejects.com) on October 2, 2008

October Movie Guide

If we are good at anything here at FSR, it is the creation of lists and guides — big, sweeping assessments and recommendations that can be bantered about for days on end in the comment area. And there’s nothing wrong with that, because we love writing them and it’s clear that you love discussing them — it is a win/win for all of us. With that in mind, we have a new monthly feature to share with you.

Tomorrow, the month of October gets underway, at least cinematically, with the first round of releases. And in order to help you navigate through the entire month’s worth of films, we’ve broken them down into simple categories and picked out the ones that you shouldn’t miss. It is a new feature that we like to call the Monthly Movie Guide. Check out our list of selections below, listed in chronological order.

The Date Night Pick:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (October 3)

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

There really aren’t any “chick flicks” in this month’s line-up, at least not in the traditional sense. No sappy Nicholas Sparks novels or heavy love stories (except maybe for The Duchess), just some funny, endearing comedies that revolve around a love story. For the 20-somethings, there is How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, but they (and most any other demographic) still might be better served by seeing Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. In this one, the wunderkind of awkward comedy Michael Cera and the new sassy American girl next door Kat Dennings go toe-to-toe in a smart, funny, endearing portrait of blossoming love for two young New Yorkers, all set to an upbeat, but not overbearing soundtrack. Whether you are still young or you still think you are young, if you are looking for a sure-thing date movie, Nick and Norah is your best bet.

The Indie Pick:

Rachel Getting Married (October 3 - Limited)

Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married

Hot off some major Toronto buzz and some Oscar-talk for Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married appears to be the standout in a month filled with some good indies. In my mind, the runner up in this category is Fernando Meirrelles’ Blindness (October 3), but even that film doesn’t seem to have the momentum that Rachel has headed into October. And with the sure-fire Oscar nod chances that Anne Hathaway seems to have for her performance, you aren’t going to want to go into the awards season not having seen this one — trust me.

The Action Junkie Pick:

RocknRolla (October 8 - Limited)

RocknRolla

When it comes to gun-toting British gangster stories, no one does it quite like Guy Ritchie. In fact, with films like Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Ritchie quite possibly ushered in a new genre of high-speed, high tension, heavy beats, big guns and bad teeth. And with RocknRolla, fans appear to be ready to celebrate his return to said genre, after his stint making movies with his wife Madonna. Thankfully for us, that cinematic mid-life crisis is over and Guy can go back to doing what he does best — action, baby. And once again, he brings in a big cast, with the likes of Gerard Butler, Jeremy Piven and Thandie Newton, to help give some meat to the experience. If you are into guns, babes and those fancy British curse words, this is your film, my friends.

The Editor’s Must See Movie of the Month:

Body of Lies (October 10)

Body of Lies

It goes without saying that director Ridley Scott has gone a long time without disappointing us when he has ventured into the action genre. Think about it — this is the guy who brought us Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, Kingdom of Heaven and American Gangster — he knows what he’s doing. And even well into his 60s and 70s, Scott doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all. So if there is anyone I trust to make a good movie about the War on Terror, it is Ridley Scott. We can expect Body of Lies to be well-acted, thanks to Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio; well-directed; have a story with at least a few good layers; and be visually impressive. What more could you want out of an action thriller? If there is any movie that is sure to satisfy just about any moviegoer in the month of October, this is it — and that’s why it is my Editor’s Pick of the Month.

The Family Pick:

City of Ember (October 10)

City of Ember

Similar to the date movie conundrum explained above, the market for films for the whole family is a little slim in October. Though, the fact that we have to hedge our bets on City of Ember isn’t all that bad — it looks like it could be a lot of fun. It has a little bit of adventure, the potential for comedy (assuming Bill Murray is still funny) and it is directed by proven winner Gil Kenan, who directed Monster House. Our buzz perception analyzer (that we stole from CNN’s Situation Room) tells us that City of Ember has a serious Bridge to Terabithia vibe, which should play well with audiences — more of a ‘thinking kid’s movie.’ And there’s nothing wrong with some intelligent entertainment for America’s next generation.

The Fanboy Pick:

Max Payne (October 17)

Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis in Max Payne

It seems that everyone on the web is waiting on the edge of their specially designed computer chair for gamers for the release of Max Payne, starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges. For once, gamers have genuine hope for an adaptation of one of their favorite games. It isn’t in the hands of Uwe Boll, but rather Flight of the Phoenix and Behind Enemy Lines director John Moore. As well, based on the footage that many of us saw at Comic-Con in July, the film really does look badass. If the buzz leading up to this release holds any weight in the end, fanboys and fangirls may just have one of the first video game adaptations of which they can be proud. Either way, I have a feeling that this will be one movie that you’ll want to see on the big screen when it comes flying into theaters, guns blazing.

The Thriller Pick:

Saw V (October 24)

Saw 5

The thriller category was by far the most difficult pick this month, despite the fact that our own Robert Fure has already raged on about the serious lack of horror in the month of Halloween. That aside, there is an up-and-coming horror film coming out this month called Quarantine that could rock our shorts in a way that few thrillers have been able to do all year. But despite what our guts tell us about Quarantine, it is untested, whereas the Saw franchise has not failed fans of blood in the past 4 consecutive years. As they say, it wouldn’t be Halloween if it wasn’t time for another Saw movie, and this year is no exception. Now, I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but I do know this: gore-junkies are most likely to get their fix on Saw V than any other thriller this month.

The Comedy Pick:

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (October 31)

Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks in Zack and Miri Make a Porno

As I mentioned above, there are a few good comedies coming out this month, including How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. But it has become clear, in looking at the October release slate as a whole, that none of them will be able to hold a flame to Kevin Smith’s much-anticipated return to raunch-com, also known as Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks and The Office’s Craig Robinson may be first timers in the View Askewniverse, but they should have no trouble keeping up with Kevin Smith in the director’s chair. If ever there was a time for a movie with the word ‘porno’ in the title, this would be it. As well, our inside sources indicated to us that not only does Zack and Miri deliver some of the classic Kevin Smith filth, it also showcases a very endearing little love story. Aww, how cute? How could you possibly pass up the chance to laugh and get in touch with your feminine side all at once? Oh, and did we mention that Katie Morgan is in it? Ticket sold.

That’s our October Movie Guide, be sure to check back in on November 1st when we run down the best of each category for the Month of November

Aston Martin One-77 Newsletter


Aston Martin

Thank you for registering to find out more about the Aston Martin Project One-77.

Over the coming months we will share more details about the Aston Martin One-77. From its conception, through to the first test drives, and its breathtaking performance, you will be able to follow the whole story as it unfolds on www.One-77.com.

The first in the series of videos is now live on the site and it introduces the design philosophy behind the world's most desirable automotive art form.

"One-77 expresses all the know-how that Aston Martin has collected in recent years. It is the expression of all the beauty we could bring to a car, it's an expression of all the emotions that we can bring in the car and by this, it is an expression of what Aston Martin stands for." Dr Ulrich Bez, CEO Aston Martin.

We will let you know each time new video content is uploaded to the site.

Aston Martin

For more details on Project One-77 visit www.One-77.com

To unsubscribe from this service click here: unsubscribe now

To see more of the Aston Martin range go to www.astonmartin.com

Seven Animated Movies More Sequel-Worthy Than Kung-Fu Panda

Kung-Fu Panda wasn't a bad movie. Not in the slightest. There were some great vocal performances, fun action, and cool animation, but, we'll admit, it wasn't the animated sequel news we've been waiting for. In our world where the next 10 chapters of Shrek have already called dibs on their release dates and Disney will have a half-assed, direct-to-DVD sequel for almost ANYTHING, it's been hard to really get excited about sequels to animated films lately. Even the in-progress Cars 2 (which we're sure will be well done) doesn't really get us excited in the way that good sequels should. You know the feeling - when a movie ends and your mind is in on fire with the potential of stories yet to come.Meaning no offense to Jack Black or the fine folks at Dreamworks (who we're sure know enough motion-capture kung-fu experts to kick our asses all the way to animated China), here are seven animated classics that we think are much, much more sequel-worthy than Kung-Fu Panda or Cars.

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Mistakes that Keep You From Losing Weight

Why You Stay Fat

Five gym mistakes that keep you from losing weight

By Kimberly Flynn


1) ALWAYS DOING THE SAME

“People often fall into the trap of hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes every time they work out,” says Rachel Cosgrove, owner of Results Fitness in Santa Clarita, Calif. “It works at fi rst, but then your body starts to adjust to the routine, and you burn fewer calories.” To keep seeing results, change one workout factor like intensity or duration every trip to the gym, then completely switch your activity every three to four weeks.

2) DISTRACTIONS.

If you can watch TV during your workout, you’re not working hard enough. Instead of relaxing while you run, try interval training. After a fi ve- to six-minute warm-up on a cardio machine, work as hard as you can for one minute, then reduce the intensity for two minutes. Alternate back and forth for fi ve rounds, making sure to increase the number of intervals you do each workout.

3) HOLDING ON TO THE HANDLEBARS.

When your arms take your body weight off your legs, you burn fewer calories. “If you have to hold on or lean, go slower,” says Cosgrove. (Supporting yourself without assistance gives you a better core workout as well.)

4) NOT USING THE INCLINE.

Setting the treadmill on an incline increases the activity of your glutes and hamstrings so you make them even stronger and burn more calories. Depending on your fi tness level, set the incline at between 6% and 10%.

5) OVERFUELING.

You don’t need to sip sports drinks all afternoon, then eat an energy bar at the gym, and then follow that up with a post-workout shake. Instead, limit yourself to about 300 calories—the same number you burn in an average 30-minute workout. Any more and you’re not going to get thinner.

George Lucas' next big thing (it's not Star Wars)


By Jay A. Fernandez

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - George Lucas' "Red Tails" project is on the runway, ready for takeoff.

Anthony Hemingway, who has directed episodes of "The Wire," "CSI: NY" and "ER," will helm the long-gestating World War II film. John Ridley has written the script. Lucas will serve as executive producer on the Lucasfilm feature, which will shoot in Prague, Italy, Croatia and England.

Red Tails was the name of the first group of black airmen to serve as pilot escorts for American bombers in the war. Although their ability to fly had been questioned on racist grounds, the Red Tails' record in the sky was so impressive that they were in demand to lead bombing runs over Italy and Germany in the last year of the conflict.

Their story began under President Franklin Roosevelt, who as an experiment sent the soldiers to Tuskegee, Alabama, to train once the war started. There, they experienced rampant racism and harassment. After their exemplary performance in the war, they helped to desegregate the Army's flying crew.

Lucas has been developing the project since 1989 but put it aside to complete his second trilogy of "Star Wars" films and revive the "Indiana Jones" franchise.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

The 7 most completely bizarre McDonald’s commercials

After seeing that video yesterday where a man punched a teenage girl in the face at a McDonald’s, I got to thinking…McDonald’s is pretty much as wholesome a slice of Americana as we have. Only, not so much when you take a look at some of these perturbing commercials throughout McDonald’s history.

Ronald McDonald’s TV debut

This is supposed to be the first ever McDonald’s commercial, conveniently coinciding with the first appearance of Ronald McDonald. And, with such a stellar debut, you’d think it would have probably been his last.

There’s just something menacing about him in this. Whether it’s the pedophilic voice (and the way he already “knows the kids”), his food hat (never trust anyone in a hat made of food…I’m looking at you, Chiquita Banana), his serial killer make-up, or his dancing alone to a somewhat perturbing jingle, it really hits all the notes. The total package terrifies me. Imagining him yelling at me to eat the hamburgers off of his “magic regenerating burger tray” makes me want to curl up into the fetal position and pray that he just moves onto a more willing victim. And people today say the Burger King is creepy. You kids don’t know how easy you have it.

Into the heart of McDonaldland…

Some research shows that this is one of the first “McDonaldland” commercials, a campaign which debuted in 1971, and it shows. It’s definitely got a 60s feel to it, with the LSD-inspired hamburgers with eyes and french fry plants (perhaps a precursor to the Fry Kids, only they don’t scream when you eat them) and the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine-sounding theme. But at the same time, check out Ronald’s fro. That bad boy is pure 70s Black clown power Dolemite.

Of course, the idea was basically entirely ripped off from H.R. Pufnstuf, leading to a lawsuit that meant shutting down the McDonaldland usage in TV ads. No way Mayor McCheese was pleased…did you see him in there with the McDonaldland Chief of Police? He was all about business, trying to maintain sanity in this crazy crazy world around him.

The Hamburglar touch

The Hamburglar dreams that he could turn everything into hamburgers, which is working out pretty well for him as he just goes around making everything into hamburgers (but not eating them, which seems kind of counterproductive). Eventually, he decides Grimace would make the greatest hamburger of all, but Ronald puts the kibosh on that one. So the Hamburglar accidentally touches his face and becomes a hamburger himself. Since paradoxes greatly confuse the Hamburglar (”How can I steal the hamburger if I am the hamburger?”), he wakes up horrified.

Here’s one thing I never understood. The Hamburglar loves McDonald’s hamburgers, but doesn’t like paying for them. So he turns to a life of crime, solely consisting of hamburger-related theft. In spite of the fact that Ronald seems to always be cockblocking the Hamburglar’s attempts at living up to his name, he and Grimace opt to hang out with him and a plate full of burgers which, presumably, they bought. Why would you tempt him? Even if he’s genuinely your friend, do you hang out with alcoholics and start spraying hoses filled with vodka up into the air? Ronald has a real sinister side to him.

Also for fun: Imagine that this is the diner scene from Heat.

The Grimace has stolen all of our cups.

Turns out that Grimace wasn’t always a friend. His introduction to the viewing public came when he committed a dastardly deed in the form of stealing all of the cups in McDonaldland. Now maybe I’m just less heroic than Ronald, but when a giant blob monster steals all my cups, I’m inclined to let him go. But the discourse between Ronald and the kids went more like this:

“But how will we drink our delicious triple-thick shakes, Ronald?”
“We’re going to have to get the Grimace.”
“Um…he’s an 8 foot-tall monster. We could just drink it straight from the machine, clown. Or even buy new cups.”
“…what did I just say.”
“*in unison* Sorry Ronald.”

Of course Grimace is basically retarded because he is, in fact, a brainless pile of goop, so he falls for some hare-brained lie about a contest and Ronald gets all the cups and shakes are had by all. How Ronald and Grimace became friends after Ronald’s deceit escapes me. How could you ever trust him again?

To McDonald’s credit, they really crammed a lot of plot in there. It was more well-thought out than Two and a Half Men, at least.

McDonald’s: The Musical

This 1970s commercial takes a departure from the usual clown/food-people based angle and offers up an elaborate song and dance from McDonald’s workers of all ethnicities. No diversity of gender though…sorry ladies, but if you want to work closely with fry grease, take your ass to Burger King.

This is a lot like a real McDonald’s experience. Only if you replace the cleanliness with a combination of surliness and fecal matter and end the big gusto-filled ending with you getting a triple bypass. Same difference, really.

Willard Scott gets assimilated into the Ronald McDonald borg

Apparently this was a local commercial airing in the DC area in which Willard Scott, dressed in full Ronald McDonald regalia, hawks Ronald McDonald dolls.

He also laughs like a creep and seemingly enjoys the role a bit too much. Which is fair, I’d say. It’s probably better than the alternative of saying Happy Birthday to decrepit old people who don’t completely know where they are. Or being Dave Thomas.

Welcome aboard, McNuggets

So in 1985, McNuggets are being launched at McDonald’s…how do we celebrate it? By having the most ADD variety show ever. The McNuggets play music, Ronald and Grimace tell jokes, and a good time is seemingly had by all.

My main question was: Who was that pirate asshole who showed up and took a bow even though he contributed nothing to the show. Well, fortunately, Wikipedia has answers.

Captain Crook was a pirate and is similar in appearance to the famed Captain Hook from Peter Pan. Unlike the Hamburglar, this villain spent his time trying to steal Filet-O-Fish sandwiches from citizens of McDonaldland while avoiding being caught by Big Mac, the Chief of police of McDonaldland. As part of the nautical theme of the character, Captain Crook used ships and waterways as means to escape being captured. In his final appearances, he was renamed simply “The Captain” and his character design made less sinister. The character was dropped during the streamlining of the characters in the ’80s.

So he ripped off the Hamburglar’s gimmick but opted to steal the least delicious item on McDonald’s menu. This is why pirates are basically extinct…outside of Somalia.

Meet Lady Ronald McDonald

I’m not breaking new ground when I say that Japan makes some weird commercials and, yes, opening these ads up to the global market probably means that there’s even weirder ones out there. But I’ll tell you this: I am not comfortable with being sexually attracted to someone dressed like Ronald McDonald. I’m just not. And I hate you McDonald’s for confusing my libido so thoroughly.

—

For more fast food related fun, you may like the 5 most unsettling moments in the life of the Burger King or Burger King’s creepy print ads.

5 Things You Didn't Know: Hooters

Hooters Girl - Credit: Hooters.com
By Ross Bonander

Entertainment Correspondent - Every Thursday


Here are 5 things you didn't know about Hooters
There’s an old saying that reminds us how times change, but people don’t. What’s also true is that times change, but hooters don’t -- except that they’ve gotten much bigger over the last 25 years. This is also true about the restaurant.

With locations on five of the world’s six habitable continents (Africa is the lone holdout), Hooters has come a long way since its inception in October of 1983, in Clearwater, Florida. As the chain celebrates its 25th anniversary, we present 5 things you didn’t know about Hooters, the restaurant. (For 5 things you didn’t know about those other hooters, click here).

1- Hooters Girls have to sign a sexual innuendo consent form

The first thing you didn’t know about Hooters is that the company’s non-harassment policy evidently doesn’t apply to you, the customer, since as a condition of employment the girls are required to sign a form that, among other things, they “expressly acknowledge… the Hooter concept is based on female sex appeal and the work environment is one in which joking and innuendo based on female sex appeal is commonplace.”

2- Hooters didn't serve liquor until 2006

Chicks in hot outfits, fried food, and liquor -- we might have figured this trifecta to be a safe business model from the outset, but for their own reasons, Hooters spent their first 23 years on the wagon. In 2006 the company evidently decided that a big change was in order, so they introduced that fresh new concept into the restaurants. Now, liquor sales represent 28% of its revenue.

Liquor licenses aren’t cheap, but they tend to pay for themselves rather quickly, so we can only speculate on why it took them so long: sober guys don’t make enough jokes and innuendo based on female sex appeal?

3- Hooters Girls can't wear their hair in ponytails

Another thing you didn’t know about Hooters is that someone high up at that company is a follicle fascist.

Hooters Girls are meant to represent, in the words of the company, the “All-American Cheerleader, Surfer, Girl Next Door,” but there’s something fascist afoot at Hooters, something decidedly un-American -- a real rigidity and demand for conformity when it comes to hair. The employee manual is clear: “No bizarre hair cuts or hair colors, no hats, headbands, hair clips or scrunchies,” and no ponytails -- the sine qua non of every cheerleader, second only to school spirit.

4- The Hooters name was inspired by Steve Martin

On May 17, 1980, three years before Hooters opened its doors, Steve Martin hosted Saturday Night Live and in his monologue he unknowingly provided the future restaurant with its name, saying, “I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as ‘boobs,’ ‘jugs,’ ‘winnebagos’ or ‘golden bozos’ -- you should only refer to them as ‘hooters.’”

Martin’s next line was, “And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal -- high enough so you can look up her dress,” possibly providing the founders with the motivation needed to launch a restaurant in such a competitive industry.

5- One ex-Hooters Girl is now a company VP

Before anyone thinks that former Hooters Girl Kat Cole, who now serves as Vice President of Training and Development, is a token hire put in place to appease their critics, think again. It took the Katie Holmes look-alike almost a decade to make VP, and by all accounts her rise up the ranks has been on merit.

Still, Cole hasn’t forgotten her blue-collar roots, boasting that “the skills I learned in the orange shorts still serve me today.” Nor has she forgotten her blond roots, remarking about her current work that she’s “improving the world one person at a time.”

She really did say that. Seriously.

Hova For Hope: Free Miami Jay-Z Concert this Sunday for Obama!


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Jay-Z + Obama = Party in Bayfront

It's a celebration, bitches!

The good folks at Obama For President just made your week. Jay-Z will play a free show in Bayfront Park Amphitheater this Sunday at 8:30 p.m. to drum up voter registration for his favorite presidential candidate.

A quick call to an Obama office in Coral Gables this morning confirmed the details: tickets are available starting tomorrow (Thursday) at all Campaign for Change offices in the area. The show's open to everyone 18-and-up, but there's only two tickets per person.

The Monday after the show is the last date to register to vote if you want to cast a ballot in this little Presidential election we'll be having in November.

So add a couple notes to that to-do list:
* Get free Jay-Z tix.
* Register to vote.
* Cue the black superhero music.

-- Tim Elfrink