Zazzle Shop

Screen printing

Monday, September 26, 2011

10 Celebrity Heads That Are Literally Growing [Photos]

After extensive medical research on WebMD, we found the human head reaches its fully mature size by the age of 18. Apparently, these "medical professionals" never consulted that fun fact with any of the following 10 celebrities because photographic evidence proves their heads have exponentially grown since their 20s. And we don't mean an inflated sense of self, we mean their heads are physically getting larger with each passing sitcom, rom-com and box office bomb! We have a number of theories on what is contributing to this defiance of human biology. Most of them involve booze and unabashed sandwich consumption, but we're no doctors. View the below evidence and make up your own crackpot theories.

Alec Baldwin: The Potato

In the old days, Mr. Alec Baldwin had the proportionate head of a high school class president or drama club heartthrob. But as the years passed, his head inflated to something that could float by 30 Rock during the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Luke Wilson: The Oh, Brother

We watched Luke Wilson go from a young man in "Bottle Rocket" to the guy in some commercial campaign for cell phones. We can't even tell you what he's selling because we're too busy wondering what happened to his cranium. Did he eat his other two brothers and then store the fat in his head?

Kathleen Turner: The Lettin' It All Hang Out

Kathleen Turner is an inspiration. She used to have the head of an angelic beauty waiting to be kissed by Michael Douglas. These days she just doesn't give a fudge! That head is clearly living life to its fullest size potential. Her stone got romanced into a boulder.

Mickey Rourke: The Contender

They say a big head looks better on camera. So maybe Mickey Rourke decided to grow out his capitulum so his triumphant comeback into the film biz would be hard to miss! And that pasty punching bag will forever be remembered as...kinda creepy.

Val Kilmer: The Zenith

Val Kilmer went from the Lizard King to King Sized Lizard. The size of that head is just phenomenal. Traditional hat sizes quiver at his approach. Elastic ball caps turn to stone. Do-rags scream, "DON'T!" We're left with two questions: Are those purple lenses prescription? And can you purchase frames at Big & Tall stores?

Vince Vaughn: The Swaaaanger

What? Oh yeah, that is the same guy from "Swingers." Vince Vaughn taught us how to meet ladies, and now he's teaching us the ultimate tragedy of being puffy around the eyes...and chin, and ears, and well...the entire skull.

Steven Seagal: The Beefsteak Eskimo

Steven Seagal recently told a UFC reporter he "...doesn't keep track of space and time that well." Apparently, neither does his head.

John Travolta: The Hugerino

Being a licensed pilot, does John Travolta have to pay a fee for the extra weight of that dome? If Scientologists have to wear ceremonial hats, his would have to be custom made with generous amounts of elastic.

Gerard Depardieu: The De-Par-HUGE

Ahhh, the French. In Europe, a head the size of Gerard Depardieu's is a symbol of success and good fortune. In America, that head is a sign that you need neck supports. Maybe he urinated on that plane because the blood flowing to his brain got misdirected in that huge skull.

Eddie Vedder: The Poetic Pumpkin

To tell you the truth, ladies and gentleman, Eddie Vedder always had a gigantic noodle. We just felt the need to point it out and compare it to a jack-o'-lantern to get all of you in the Halloween spirit.
Photos: Getty Images