Have you ever thought that Goofy was just a little bit too goofy? Wonder where Woody Woodpecker gets all that energy? Keep reading to take a look at 10 children’s characters who were obviously on drugs:
1 Scooby Doo and Shaggy Marijuana
Scooby and Shaggy were clearly the two slackers of Mystery, Inc. Add in the fact that they always had the munchies, were way too paranoid about everything and drove around in the back of a van, and it’s pretty safe to say that these two were ripping bong hits every chance they got. Of course, there’s also the infamous recurring scene in which the Mystery Machine drives away and smoke curiously billows out the back. Scoobie DOOBIE Doo!
The hyper-speed energy of Woody Woodpecker is just too boundless and frenetic to be the mannerisms of a completely sober cartoon character. I mean, you can’t watch an episode of this classic cartoon – what with Woody bouncing off the walls, eyes all big and dilated – and not start to catch onto the fact that he was snorting something up that beak of his.
The Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland smokes out of a hookah – case closed. Further ammo – at one point he exhales and a cloud of smoke in the shape of a Chinese dragon comes out of his mouth. Oh, and he also informs Alice that she can grow and shrink through the use of mushrooms. Sounds like the guy knows his way around a drug party.
Note: The Caterpillar is probably just the clearest example of someone getting stoned in Wonderland. The Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat were clearly on something as well, and Tweedledum and Tweedledee were probably huffing paint out in those woods.
Speaking of huffing, Goofy was just a little too loopy to suffer from low IQ alone. With his patented awkward walk and remarkable ability to fall flat on his ass, those motor skills of his were obviously impaired in some way. My bet is on rubber cement, but I could also see this dopey Mickey sidekick sniffing on a Sharpie or sucking nitrous from a red balloon.
Forget the old cats vs. dog feud – Chester Cheetah would be great friends with Scooby Doo. If this cartoon feline ever took off those patented sunglasses of his, it’s probably fair to say we’d see a couple of dry, bloodshot eyes. And of course, anyone who loves Cheetos as much as that Cheetah has got to have a pretty healthy level of THC circulating through the body.
Spinach makes you strong? Yeah, right – not that fast at least. Symptoms of steroid use include sudden growth in muscles, increased aggression and feelings of invincibility. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, another symptom is poor decision making – which would explain why ol’ Popeye was dating that whiny string bean with the wobbly arms – Olive Oyl.
How do you spell love. Well, when you love everything as intensely as Pepe Le Pew, the answer is probably M-D-M-A. Combine his overt affection with the fact that he couldn’t stop rubbing his hands all over the ladies, and it makes a pretty strong case that Pepe Le Pew was hitting up the underground rave scene in his off time.
Symptoms of PCP include erratic behavior, poor speech, mania and a blank stare facial expression. Animal possesses all of these traits. Angel dust also grants the user extreme strength. If you recall, the enthusiastic drummer of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem actually had to be CHAINED to his drum set because he became so violent. Oh, and he’s a musician – a profession that virtually requires you to be a drug addict.
The odd behavior of the three main characters from Animaniacs might be the result of many different types of drugs. However, when you take into account clues such as Wakko attempting to eat scene backgrounds and Yakko believing he’s the king of a made-up country named Anvilania, the use of hallucinogenics becomes more apparent. Clearly, only such grand illusions could be caused by LSD.
Here’s one more pothead for the books. If that picture doesn’t sell you, Pippi’s love for all things fun, along with her disdain for authority figures and public schooling should serve to further bolster her hippie tendencies. She also loves telling long stories that consist of nothing but pure nonsense or ridiculousness. Pippi’s curious super strength (she can lift a horse over her head with one hand) also suggests that she may be lacing those joints with PCP.