Chuck Norris Allows Birthday to Arrive

Today is Chuck Norris' birthday. He turns infinity.



Fun fact: Chuck Norris was born three months premature, because he had asses to kick.

p.s. -- he's 69 (in human years).

Some babies are born head first....others feet first...but only one was born beard first. 69 years ago today in Oklahoma a legend was born. Carlos Ray Norris was once a shy, non-athletic boy, who was often tormented by his classmates for his mixed native-American heritage, but he used his lust for revenge to help him become the most powerful being on the face of the earth. As an Air Policeman (I'd assume sans plane, just flying round and arresting people) in the US Air Force he would earn the nickname Chuck and started studying the martial arts so hard that he had to create his own - Chun Kuk Do - because nothing else was good enough. Actor, ass kicker, inventor of the roundhouse kick, and star of the Atari 2600 game Chuck Norris Superkicks, without Chuck's influence the video game industry would just be a bunch of cutesy pet sims. Let it ring across Barrens chat on every server - Happy Birthday Chuck Norris! He might be 69-years-old, but he could still kick all of our asses at once without even blinking.

and don't forget...

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

The rest can be read here....http://chisblassternardone.blogspot.com/2007/10/chuck-norris-facts.html