FBI To Tackle Baffling Super Bowl Porn Case

By Rick Chandler

Never fear America: The FBI is making sure that there will never again be an incident of Super Bowl TV porn. However, all anthrax letters will be delivered as usual.

Don't tell me that you've already forgotten how about 30 seconds of a porn movie made its way onto the Super Bowl broadcast shown to about 80,000 Comcast cable subscribers in the Tucson area. Comcast is saying that it was "a malicious act" perpetrated by an outside party (those terrorist bastards!), and have vowed to catch the culprits.

But so far, the hacker(s) have eluded the net. So in comes the FBI's renowned TV porn squad.

"We have shared all of our information on this situation with the FBI and will continue to provide our full cooperation to them throughout their investigation," company spokeswoman Kelle Maslyn said in a statement e-mailed to the Star.

Meanwhile, on Tristan Kingsley's web site (NSFW):

So as you all may have guessed I have been getting bombarded about the incident involving me and a porn clip being shown during the Super Bowl. Im not going to lie, I don't mind everyone asking how I feel about what happend or asking my opinion on it. But the one thing I do mind is some have been asking questions about my kids. Yes I do have kids and that is all anyone in the public needs to know. Please do NOT ask me their names. Do NOT ask me where they live. Do NOT ask me how often I see them. Those are personal things about MINORS that is no ones business but mine!

Then, just below that statement, a graphic with the headline:

Holy s**t! Watch me play with myself!

FBI Investigating Cable Porn Intrusion [Arizona Daily Star]