Raising The Bar: Manliest Girly Drinks

Written by Frank Movsesian

In most cases, men and mixed drinks just don't… well… mix. However, because we like it when our readers have their bases covered, and because showing your softer side through flavored alcohol is easier than writing a poem, we at Double Viking HQ have gone through the "trouble" of researching which girly drinks are the manliest.

Kyoto Cocktail

Ingredients: 3 oz gin, 1 oz Midori melon liqueur, 1/2 oz dry vermouth, 1/4 tsp fresh lemon juice

Why it's girly: By default, all drinks that have Midori in them should be classified as girly simply because any alcoholic beverage that's "neon electric green" negates nearly all manliness.

Why it's manly: Try to pronounce the name of this drink. {waiting for you} Okay, close enough. Now have a few drinks, then pronounce it. "kee-yo-yo...key-toe-mo-yo...key-hoe-cock-balls...k y jelly"

Amaretto Sour

Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur, 1 - 2 splashes sweet and sour mix

Why it's girly: It is probably the most casual drink of all time. Since there's so little alcohol in the drink, it takes way too many to get fucked up.

Why it's manly: They are really easy to make, and since men don't like the word "effort" this is the ideal mixed drink.

White Russian

Ingredients: 2 oz vodka, 1 oz coffee liqueur, light cream

Why it's girly: It has the words "liqueur" and "light cream" in the ingredients. You're probably saying, "But that's what makes it tastes good." And to you I say, "But that's what makes you a girl."

Why it's manly: Because you can order this drink with little to no cream, and it instantly becomes manly. I mean I could just bring up the fact that The Dude from The Big Lebowski orders these religiously, but I won't.

Black Velvet

Ingredients: 5 oz chilled stout, 5 oz chilled Champagne

Why it's girly: Most women can't stand stout. So someone out there, probably a woman, thought of pouring some Champagne into their stout. BRILLIANT! If you're a girl.

Why it's manly: It still has beer in it. Not to mention, if you do the math on this mixed drink, we're talking about 10 oz! Excess = manliness.

Red Headed Slut

Ingredients: 1 oz peach schnapps, 1 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur, cranberry juice

Why it's girly: It is a very tasty drink that goes down way too smooth. If by the end of the shot you're not gurgling, making the "I can't believe I drank that" face or straight up choking then you my friend are drinking something girly.

Why it's manly: First off, they are shots. Secondly, its probably the best tasting way to get drunk. And last I checked, getting drunk is the end game anyway. They also provide great liquid courage to aid you in your attempts at picking up women at a bar.

Appletini

Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz Smirnoff Green Apple Twist vodka, 1 oz DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker schnapps

Why it's girly: It has a fruit in it's title, so its definitely "fruity." Plus, you could probably ask every single girl you know and they would all say they love the stuff.

Why it's manly: Yes, its a very very girly drink. But let me put it simply for you: J.D. from Scrubs drinks it. 'Nuff said.