Baseball Joke

A Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY Yankee fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of the sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Cubs fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Cubs fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Yankee fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan out crying like a little girl.

The Red Sox fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but befo re he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said, "You support the greatest baseball team in the world, your supporters are the best and most loyal baseball fans in all the world.

For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal Highness," the Red Sox fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Tie the Yankee fan to my back."

BMW racing Video Game

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Glass Desk

Never Buy a Glass Computer Desk

You can keep the Beef Sundae, I'm having this!

THe Original Beef Cake

http://www.blackwidowbakery.com/demo/meatcake/

Cable Taming not needed with Imac

Hot Beef Sunday

Mother Nature

This one stroke just on the other side of the street. Quite a nice bang it had. Luckily the tree didn't catch fire. Taken from my balcony.
Cropped this from the larger photo. And for the viewers, I took a LARGE amount of photos today when trying to get some of the lightning over here.
The photo made the first page in the local newspaper.

For Blass - A paper craft skull with articulated jaw

PDF pattern and folding instructions here.

Tame those cables!

Organizing, hiding, and "child proofing" the maze of cables under my computer desk at home has been on the to-do list for too long. I even have all the stuff, bought in a marathon Home Depot session, to do it - I just haven't.
In any case, this guy presents one way to get it done. Its not the way I'm going, but its worth noting.

More information and pictures here.

Multi-Mini Roundabout

GOOD LUCK RINDONE - Got to love those English Streets

how to navigate a multi-mini roundabout

this is an actual roundabout in swindon…

it’s called a multi-mini roundabout and was designed in order to defeat congestion problems and lower the amount of accidents that were occuring when it was an unsafe, normal roundabout. it gives me a headache just thinking about giving way to that many streams of traffic.

it’s ok though, i found a diagram showing the best way to tackle it depending on your driving skills…

diagram from here.

Crazy Aquariums

Really Cool Aquariums click here for more crazy Aquariums

by Miss Cellania - August 15, 2007 - 8:32 AM

A well-designed and maintained aquarium is a treat for the eye, a conversation piece, and a satisfying hobby. Some are much more than that.

Pieter van Suijlekom’s Reef Aquarium is a fantastic saltwater tank system with a total volume of 2074 gallons. Read about the process of building this tank, the equipment used to maintain it, and the fish and other creatures that live in it.

Blackberry HTML email and spell check as you type.

Blackberry HTML email and Spell check as you type! Also Quick response email templates instead of Auto Text.

http://www.getempower.com/wordpress/

Apple IWork 08

Very Slick indeed. Innovation driving results!

New in Numbers ’08.
Introducing Numbers ’08, the spreadsheet you’ve been waiting for — and already know how to use. Innovative, powerful, and intuitive, Numbers ’08 lets you do everything from setting up your family budget to completing a lab report to creating detailed financial documents.


http://www.apple.com/iwork/numbers/

Human Touch Massage Chairs

http://www.interhealth.com/n/pages-b2c/humantouch/tertiary-ht140.html

Arms and Armor -Christie's auction on 9/20

http://www.christies.com/departments/arm/overview.asp

If you need 13th century German armor or a pair of Spanish Bronze cannons, this is the place!

PBS's The War -Starting 9/23

THE WAR, a seven-part series directed and produced by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick, tells the story of the Second World War through the personal accounts of a handful of men and women from four quintessentially American towns. The series explores the most intimate human dimensions of the greatest cataclysm in history — a worldwide catastrophe that touched the lives of every family on every street in every town in America — and demonstrates that in extraordinary times, there are no ordinary lives.

http://www.pbs.org/thewar/

Chismillionare says- Take your jet travel private

You're sick of the stress of flying commercial airlines, but buying into a private-jet program seems prohibitively expensive. Now there are cheaper ways.

In years past, hiring an airplane and crew was a complicated, potentially risky affair that involved calling a local charter operator and negotiating for a plane and pilots. Fractional ownership, in which companies sell a share of an airplane, opened up the private-jet world by making planes easier to buy and schedule. That was followed by jet-card programs -- in which you can buy as little as 10 hours of flying for about $44,000 -- reducing the cost further.

John McKey, a retired advertising executive, charters jets twice a year to move between his homes in Boston and Florida to avoid "the appalling process now of going through commercial airlines." Leaving from Bedford, Mass., and flying directly to Vero Beach, Fla., saves a couple hours of driving, and since his wife has to travel with wheelchair assistance, the level of service the couple gets with a private plane is highly prized.
"It's not inexpensive, but it is easy to do," said Mr. McKey, a client of OneSky, a fast-growing three-year-old company that arranges on-demand charters and has its own command center to track flights and make customer arrangements. He pays about $12,000 to $13,000 for each 3½- to 4-hour flight. He and his wife invite friends to fill the other seats on their trips.

http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB118705417794296758.html

Stearns Quick change oil pump

http://www.amazon.com/Stearns-Quick-Change-Oil-Pump/dp/B000HUXQ5O

$29.97

It worked well for the Benz because the oil filter was right in the engine compartment, so I never had to get under the car. Supposedly it’s a cleaner way of extracting oil from a car since it’ll pump out all the oil that gravity otherwise wouldn’t drain from the plug.

Great for you boaters out there

Failure to Launch - WOW

http://www.snopes.com/photos/boats/badlaunch.asp

Brush & Rinse Toothbrush Brilliantly Simple

By Andrew Liszewski

Normally when we write about a toothbrush it’s a high-tech rechargeable wonder with built-in timers and vibrating plaque-busting features. The Brush & Rinse however has nothing like that but in my opinion is far more useful than even the most expensive brushes on the market. The back of the toothbrush’s head has been specially engineered so that it can effectively redirect water from a faucet to your mouth for easy rinsing. As the designers put it:

Brush & Rinse Toothbrush Brilliantly Simple - whole article

The Amazing AIRTRAX Omni-Directional Wheels

The Godfather

The Godfather

Hypothetical child abuse, or just damn funny?

Came across this on some random blog out there - a hypothetical question (obviously):
---
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?
---

See 20+ pages of ramblings, musings, thoughts, and opinions on the subject here. I don't know why I found this so damn funny...

Popeye Doyle!

Chismillionare very anti Umbrella, but if he weren't he would go with this!

SENZ Umbrellas is proud to introduce the first game-changing innovations in umbrella design. The aerodynamic SENZ Original easily resists storms up to wind force 10! From now on, you'll experience rain as liquid sunshine! The SENZ Mini is unique for always finding the best position in the wind, which requires minimum force. Playing with the wind has become not only easy and comfortable, it's extremely fun too!

http://senzumbrellas.com/en_index.php

Suzuki B King- what the Stones were talking about in Sreet Fighting Man

http://www.suzukibking.co.uk/

Stanley FatMax FuBar II- who can't get behind this

4-in-1 tool for prying, splitting, board bending and striking jobs
2.5 lbs - fits easily in the hammer loop
One piece forged steel bar for increased durability
Board grabbing jaw sized for 2x lumber
Beveled nail slot for pulling & prying nails
Textured grip for excellent comfort & control, even when wet
Tempered steel that prevents chipping

http://stanleytools.com/default.asp?CATEGORY=HT+BARS&TYPE=PRODUCT&PARTNUMBER=55-119&SDesc=FatMax%26%23174%3B+Functional+Utility+Bar

The Amazing Avocado

http://saveur.com/food/2000/amazing-avocados-53446.html

GM plans to develop batteries with A123 Systems for its new electric vehicle

General Motors has announced it will work directly with A123 Systems, a start-up based in Watertown, MA, to develop batteries that are fine-tuned for the Chevrolet Volt, an electric vehicle scheduled for production in 2010 or 2011. The new agreement between the companies is designed to speed the vehicle to market.
The co-development deal is the latest in a series of announcements by the automaker indicating it is moving forward with plans for the Volt, an extremely fuel efficient hybrid. The Volt, first announced in January, will use batteries that can be recharged from a standard electrical outlet and is expected to get 40 miles on a single charge, eliminating trips to the gas station for average daily driving. While GM has not ruled out using batteries from another supplier, the agreement is a vote of confidence that A123's technology can meet the requirements for the vehicle, says Denise Gray, GM's director of hybrid energy storage devices.
A123 uses a new lithium-ion chemistry that allows its batteries to be much lighter and more compact than the nickel metal hydride batteries in existing hybrids today, and safer than the conventional lithium ion batteries found in consumer electronics

New Microscope creates 3D images of cells

MIT researchers have designed a microscope for generating three-dimensional movies of live cells. The microscope, which works like a cellular CT scanner, will let scientists watch how cells behave in real time at a greater level of detail. This new device overcomes a trade-off between resolution and live action that has hindered researchers' ability to examine cells and could lead to new methods for screening drugs.
Cells can't be examined under a traditional microscope because they don't absorb very much visible light. So the MIT microscope relies on another optical property of cells: how they refract light. As light passes through a cell, its direction and wavelength shift. Different parts of the cell refract light in different ways, so the MIT microscope can show the parts in all their detail.

http://www.technologyreview.com/Biotech/19227/

Rewriteable Holographic memory

By using lasers to etch data onto fragments of a microbial protein, researchers at the University of Connecticut may have demonstrated a way to produce rewritable holographic memory. Holographic memory stores data in three dimensions instead of two and could make data retrieval hundreds of times faster. The first holographic-memory systems have recently come to market, but they do not yet feature discs rewritable in real time.
Researchers at the University of Connecticut, Storrs, led by Jeffrey Stuart, head of the university's Nanobionics Research Center, based their holographic storage system on reengineered versions of proteins produced by bacteria-like organisms commonly found in salt marshes. Simply shining blue light on the proteins erases any data stored in them.

http://www.technologyreview.com/Infotech/19228/?a=f

A Cleaner, Greener, Badass Hot Rod

http://www.teslamotors.com/

Autobahn Turns 75, Reveals Cultural Differences in Safety

American libertarian drivers would have you believe it's safer than U.S. freeways (likewise false). The German Autobahn opened on August 6, 1932, a small spit of about 12.5 miles between Cologne and Bonn. Since then, it has been one of the most important testing grounds for automakers in the world. It's not just for the lack of speed limits that this infamous highway is known. It reveals great cultural differences in the ways that car safety is perceived. After you crest one blind hill into Frankfurt, for example, the skid marks are akin to those you'd find on a runway at JFK airport, from cars confronting backed-up traffic. This is at least one reason BMW and Mercedes Benz began work on one of the first anti-lock brake systems. American automakers and regulators, by contrast, tend to be fatalistic, focusing on reducing death and injury rather than preventing them. Even the "Wall Street Journal" recently griped that mandatory fuel mileage standards would force vehicles to lose weight, which would result in rising highway death tolls. The "Journal" failed to note that you're more than four times as likely to be involved in an accident in the first place while driving a 4,000 pound SUV as you would be driving a vehicle weighing 1,000 pounds less with a lower center of gravity. The left lane of the Autobahn is strictly for passing. To wander into it, cell phone in hand, without a clear sense of your car's dimensions and capabilities is to risk suicide from approaching vehicles. The Autobahn demands a driver's engagement with the road. While Americans constantly bemoan our dumbed-down highways by comparison, we seem unwilling to raise the IQ of our cars or the standards for our drivers.

Happy Birthday Mr Wenkel, born this day in 1902

1902: Felix Wankel, inventor of the rotary engine, is born in Lahr, Germany.
Lacking a degree, indeed a university education of any kind, Wankel nevertheless possessed a first-rate technical mind. While still in his early 20s, he conceived of a rotary engine that he hoped would replace the more complicated and less efficient reciprocating piston engine.
Wankel received the first patent for his engine design in 1929, but events were about to overtake him.
On the political front, Wankel couldn't catch a break. After an early flirtation with National Socialism, he ran afoul of the Nazis and was tossed into prison for a few months. Following his release, Wankel spent the prewar years working on rotary valves and sealing technology for several German firms.

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/08/dayintech_0813

Chismillionare's like latest business model- taking money from children!

The latest toy craze in North America are stuffed animals called Webkinz that blend the comfort of teddy bears with the addictive challenges of online role-playing games.
Webkinz look like Beanie Babies, but come with a code to unlock a digital doppelgänger children play with in a Sims-like digital world. The combination has proven as habit forming as the Tamagotchi phenomenon, but with a stuffed animal that sleeps in your child's bed. And it might be the ploy that saves the toy industry.
Sold only at specialty stores like Hallmark, more than 1 million Webkinz stuffed animals have been snapped up since their April 2005 debut, making the toy by Ganz a sensation. In February, the Toy Industry Association named Webkinz the Specialty Toy of the Year for 2007.

http://www.wired.com/gadgets/miscellaneous/news/2007/07/webkinz

Dresden's World-Class Art Gallery Duplicates Itself Online

If you can't make it to Dresden this summer, consider teleporting. The pearl of the city's museum collection, the Old Masters Picture Gallery, recently opened a virtual version of itself in Second Life. Second Life representatives say it's the first real-world museum to "clone" itself online, although virtual versions of other collections (most famously "Second Louvre," which has no official ties to the Paris museum) have popped up.

All 37,700 square feet of the 150-year-old building, plus the grounds outside, have been recreated, down to the trash cans and fountains in the courtyard and ceiling moldings, staircases and furniture within. The highlight, of course, is on the virtual walls: 750 paintings spanning 300 years of European art.

http://www.wired.com/culture/art/multimedia/2007/08/gallery_dresden

Battle: Numbers always wins

watch the whole thing it is long

Get 'yer Super Hero fix here!

Sure, the acting looks like it borders on laughable - after all, it is an amateur film - but in the few minutes of teaser here I noticed Robin (Dick Grayson - the title character), Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Superman, Batwoman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and some chick who I assume is Cat Woman... and I probably missed a few too!

Watch the trailer here.

The Piss Screen

Those wacky Germans!
---
The Piss-Screen - a pressure-sensitive inlay set within urinals, enabling users to play while they pee. We installed this newfangled creation in male restrooms across Frankfurt, teaming up with a variety of bars, clubs and cafés. The game itself was displayed on a screen above each urinal, and would automatically start as soon as someone began to pee. The player could then control the car whilst relieving himself – if they wanted the car to go right, they simply peed to the right (and visa versa).

Read more, see a video, and play the game (with your keyboard - no pissin' in your cube!) here.

Wine Color Guide for Quality and Age

Wine
for bernardo

Overdrift

I'd say the acting is about on par with the latest Fast and the Furious offering.

Chismillionare helps out with your next car

Current BMW lease offers. Forget your apartment or house. These are much nicer anyway plus you can get to work, school and go on vacation with them. Plus in three years, you can get a brand new one.

Flying Car - $148,000

http://news.zdnet.com/2036-2_22-6200744.html?tag=nl.e622

20 Things I Learned From Tech Support

As long as the world turns, users will still have problems

Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn't by chance

When in doubt. Reboot

Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words "backslash" or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven't yet, just wait, you will

Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning

No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call

"I didn't do anything" or "It just happened" Are the users mantra

As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth

This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk

Some people will never learn

This means you will always have a job

Maintain a calm voice, even if you're screaming on the inside

The hold button is your friend

Whatever you do, don't panic

The answer to all users questions should be "Trust me, I know what I'm doing" even if this is a bald-faced lie

Users can smell fear. Once you've lost control, all is lost

A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying "their own thing" is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you're better off.

Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken

Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you're not sure just lie. They won't know anyway. "A stray electron passed through the processor and caused..."

If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present

clickety clickety...

Skateboarders never hit a trick man

Time Magazine cover story- New Orleans two years on

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1646611,00.html

National Geographic place of the week

Indonesia

http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/places/countries/country_indonesia.html

HCCI combustion - gasoline combustion without a spark!

The gas-saving technology, called homogeneous charge compression ignition, or HCCI, uses a form of combustion that is much more efficient than conventional spark ignition. Under some conditions, it can reduce fuel consumption by 25 percent, says William Green, a professor of chemical engineering at MIT who was coauthor of the new study. That's very similar to the efficiency of a diesel engine, which also achieves combustion by compression rather than a spark. But unlike diesel engines, HCCI results in a more uniform combustion and is thus much cleaner. A system that combines HCCI with conventional combustion could improve fuel economy by a few miles per gallon on average, Green says.
Several research groups are working on the new type of combustion. Volvo, for example, has built a hybrid system that can switch between conventional spark ignition and HCCI. Some experts, however, had expected that the new type of engine would require special fuel.
The MIT research shows that an HCCI engine can operate with any of the varieties of gasoline sold in North America, making a special fuel unnecessary. The researchers tested a range of different gasolines made at different refineries. They found that the HCCI engine "was less sensitive to the fuel than people had feared," says Green.
While the HCCI has several performance limitations, these can be addressed using a hybrid approach, in which an engine could switch between HCCI and conventional spark ignition. Using already mass-produced parts could make it relatively inexpensive to build such a hybrid, Green says.
In conventional gasoline engines, a spark ignites a mixture of fuel and air in a combustion chamber, creating an explosion that drives a piston. While this happens very efficiently when the engine is working hard, it's less efficient at lower loads, such as during cruising, when less gasoline is being pumped into the combustion chamber. At these times, to keep the ratio of fuel to oxygen optimized, a partial vacuum is created in the chamber. It takes extra energy to make this vacuum, which decreases the engine's efficiency.
The HCCI technology avoids the use of an energy-wasting vacuum. Instead, hot gases from a previous combustion cycle remain in the chamber; the engine uses a combination of heat from these hot gases and heat generated by compressing the mixture to raise temperatures high enough that the mixture explodes.

http://www.technologyreview.com/Energy/19139/

Making Gasoline from bacteria

The biofuel of the future could well be gasoline. That's the hope of one biotech startup that on Monday described for the first time how it is coaxing bacteria into producing hydrocarbons that could be processed into fuels like those made from petroleum.

LS9, a company based in San Carlos, CA, and founded by geneticist George Church, of Harvard Medical School, and plant biologist Chris Somerville, of Stanford University, had previously said that it was working on what it calls "renewable petroleum." But at a Society for Industrial Microbiology conference on Monday, the company began speaking more openly about what it has accomplished: it has genetically engineered various bacteria, including E. coli, to custom-produce hydrocarbon chains.

http://www.technologyreview.com/Biztech/19128/

Super Mario Bros on the iPhone

New Imac photos leaked

Sleek Aluminum looking Imacs to be revealed today-

This day in history- 1991 Ladies and Gentlemen the World Wide Web

1991: The world wide web becomes publicly available on the internet for the first time.
The web has changed a lot since Tim Berners-Lee posted, on this day, the first web pages summarizing his World Wide Web project, a method of storing knowledge using hypertext documents. In the months leading up to his post, Berners-Lee had developed everything necessary to make the web a reality, including the first browser and server.
His historic post appeared on the alt.hypertext newsgroup, ending a journey that began back in 1980, when Berners-Lee was at CERN, an international particle physics lab located near Geneva, Switzerland. There, working with collaborator Robert Cailliau, Berners-Lee began the Enquire project, the forerunner to what would become the web.
The project, which made hypertext a chief communications component for the first time, was intended to facilitate the sharing of information among researchers across the broader internet

Castle House Skyscraper Makes its Own Electricity

http://www.ecogeek.org/content/view/844/

Stuffed Cheese Burger

Its not rocket science, but looking at this instructable sure got me hungry. I think one of these will find its way to my grill this weekend.

link

Chismillionare's Monday deal of the Week!

****** Update********** Blasster finds another 22" LCD with same specs at ecost.com for $199. However at the time, there was one unit left and one hour left for the special price.

If you're tired of the 17" CRT,
NEC accusync 22" LCD $249.95
1000:1 contrast ratio and 1680x1050 max resolution

http://www.buy.com/retail/product.asp?sku=204718142&adid=17070&dcaid=17070

Good judgement only comes from experience. However, experience only comes from bad judgement

http://view.break.com/334653 - Watch more free videos

Drive it like you mean it

Whoo hah!

Sorry - Chismillionare knows best!

Chin Chin for Mr. Bill O'Neil suggesting the Greyhound as well-- 1.5 oz Vodka per 4 oz fresh grapefruit juice. That will take the edge off nicely.

Cape Coddah!

Yellow Card on Chismillionare. Can someone help him find his masculinity?

I've taken the liberty of finding you a link full of suggestions for your next "Britney Spears Party" - have no fear, your beloved Cape Codder is represented.

link


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Now playing: Howlin' Wolf - When I Laid Down I Was Troubled
via FoxyTunes

You know what day it is!

Yellow flag on Pig Roaster- Cape Codder perfectly acceptable drink for any man!

10 Drinks Men Should Never Order

I can think of a few that aren't listed (Cape Codder, anyone?) - but its a decent list.

link


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Now playing: Susan Tedeschi - Soul Of A Man
via FoxyTunes