Chismillionaire's Responses to the What White People Like Blog

I am going to go through this and comment one by one: These are things as a white person I am supposed to like-- let's just see shall we!

• #91 San Francisco (sucks)
  
• #90 Dinner Parties (never had one, nor been to one ever and don't like the idea too much either)
  
• #89 St. Patrick’s Day (Yup A Drinking Holiday for Irish Americans by Irish Americans!)
  
• #88 Having Gay Friends (Nope, not a bit)
  
• #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes (functional and non pretentious and they last forever)
  
• #86 Shorts (Love em)
  
• #85 The Wire (Just watch New Jack City and Boys in the Hood and you've got the picture. Baltimore sucks worse than I thought I guess)
  
• #84 T-Shirts (Clothing, Tourniquet, Headband, goo rag, Pillow .... I mean it's the duck tape of apparel)
  
• #83 Bad Memories of High School (Wrong again Some of the best Memories I have are from High School- )
  
• #82 Hating Corporations (Love corportations- the more profit the better for my portfolio, how about yours?)
  
• #81 Graduate School (Damn right- Your 80k undergrad degree is no different than the one the Chinese Kid's government paid for... What are you going to do now--- that's right Grad school buddy.)
  
• #80 The Idea of Soccer(No way no how-- F*&k Soccer, Soccer Sucks
  
• #79 Modern Furniture (Looks good yet uncomfortable to wear and super expensive- sounds about right)
  
• #78 Multilingual Children (Maybe some of these kids should master one language first??)
  
• #77 Musical Comedy (Vomit Bag)
  
• #76 Bottles of Water (Pretentious and Wasteful- use the water fountain)
  
• #75 Threatening to Move to Canada (Bye Bye Eh?)
  
• #74 Oscar Parties ( Who cares really- I mean it's the only thing you can do. Like you're going to go home after getting all dressed up like that)
  
• #73 Gentrification ( Big thumbs up- compare Providence in the 70's to now)
• #72 Study Abroad (No real studying and the only time it's "OK" to sleep around with new and interesting people Sounds Educational compared to what is on offer on campus)
  
• #71 Being the only white person around (Don't really care about that just like my guess is King Henry VIII didn't either)
  
• #70 Difficult Breakups (Nope- they are easy not difficult- Mom and Dad couldn't come to terms on a new four year deal with an up front SUV bonus)
  
• #69 Mos Def (Who??)
  
• #68 Michel Gondry (Who??)
  
• #67 Standing Still at Concerts (Concerts--- Just buy the CD or download it and it sounds way better)
  
• #66 Divorce (Divorce sucks and is way more expensive than staying married. I think things would change quickly if people realized that.)
  
• #65 Co-Ed Sports (Only if its showering. Sorry ladies, I don't want to play competitive football or hockey or basketball or golf with you. We weigh 200-300lbs and you weigh 120-- you follow??)
  
• #64 Recycling ( Sure sounds good- reuse it if we can)
  
• #63 Expensive Sandwiches (The Sandwich- one of life's simple pleasures along with a fine cigar)
  
• #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People (Absolutely, maybe getting a shower and a job for starters. If you can show up to panhandle everyday you can work a job- maybe parmesan cheese grater would use those change cup shaking skills)
  
• #61 Bicycles (No this is a children's toy, not a form of transportation. We don't still ride horses to work either)
  
• #60 Toyota Prius (What a bunch of nonsense. If you get a clean burning Diesel vehicle you are doing more for the environmemt)
  
• #59 Natural Medicine (Is it a coincidence that 75% of big pharmas drugs are derived from plants and natural sources- don't think so.)
  
• #58 Japan (AWESOME- Cherry Blossoms, Samurais, Geishas, Comics, Walkmans, the CD, TV's, Bullet trains, Employment for life, Yakuza, Ginsu knives, Bukake, Ninjas, ....... Need I go on??)
  
• #57 Juno (Alaska? Hahah)
  
• #56 Lawyers (Even working at a law firm, I can't really go along with this)
  
• #55 Apologies (What for- to make yourself feel better. Save it. Unless you really feel like you have hurt someone should you apologize. Do it for them, not for you.
  
• #54 Kitchen Gadgets (Cast Iron Skillet, Toaster, good set of knives, microwave- DONE_
  
• #53 Dogs (Overrated)
  
• #52 Sarah Silverman (WHO- famous by making fun of someone famous in the audience at the time- I think)
  
• #51 Living by the Water ( Damn right- Us white folks are a sea people. We evolved from the sea, and 70% of us live within 200 miles of it. Coincidence?? No way
  
• #50 Irony ( I like irony, I surely do. Keeps us on our toes learning)
  
• #49 Vintage ( If its good then yeah. If it's old and shitty pass.)
  
• #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops (Lots of $$ for just OK stuff)
  
• #47 Arts Degrees (Soft Crap- Only possible through the efforts and sacrifice of the GI, Scientist and Engineer-- )
  
• #46 The Sunday New York Times (Always good to have a liberal balance and it certainly keeps the timber industry going good heavens )
  
• #45 Asian Fusion Food (I thought Cold Fusion was proven to be a hoax?)
  
• #44 Public Radio (Certainly beats the local news outlets by a large margin)
  
• #43 Plays (Excellent way of reading a book in two hours and connecting with your fellow man)
  
• #42 Sushi (Excellent- we would be served greatly by eating more of it and more often)
  
• #41 Indie Music (Some good, a whole lot of garbage)
  
• #40 Apple Products (Excellent design, and reliability, for a fair price. The world's foremost innovative company. Everyone should like them, not just white people)
  
• #39 Netflix (Convenience, and useful. A true success story of the online business model)
  
• #38 Arrested Development (I think I will Curb My Enthusiasm!)
  
• #37 Renovations (Keeps it fresh and from falling apart)
  
• #36 Breakfast Places (Absolutely- They're Quiet, no riff raff early in the am. Simple menus. If you can find a good one, hold it close to your bosom and tell only a few people)
  
• #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report ( Pass- enough with the tongue in cheek already. If you think John Stewart could run the show you are out of your mind. Just think of his first address from the Rose Garden sans writers!!)
  
• #34 Architecture ( It's what a great civilization leaves as its mark. Think about it)
  
• #33 Marijuana (We would be far better off if it were legal and alcohol were banned. Ask any cop who gives them more trouble- Drunks or Pot Heads?? Or any parent who has lost a kid to a drunk driver while people are locked away for years for growing a plant that grows naturally and has so many other uses.)
  
• #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism ( You need meat-- you really do-- start eating it. We are all creatures of the Flesh)
  
• #31 Snowboarding (Goofy footed bastards- get two planks!)
  
• #30 Wrigley Field (Yeah - the brick, balls lost in the Ivy, Hot midwestern corn fed Chicks, the house with The Budweiser Roof. If you don't like Wrigley just go back to where you came from)
  
• #29 80s Night ( A happy decade for sure)
  
• #28 Not having a TV ( What F that)
  
• #27 Marathons ( Depends what kind I guess : -) but running one is out -Hell driving one would be a little tiring on the butt)
  
• #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!) ( Nope, It's an expensive Armpit that smells like Piss. Don't get it)
  
• #25 David Sedaris (no idea who that is)
  
• #24 Wine (It's just something to drink that goes on the table)
  
• #23 Microbreweries ( Craft beer- it's an American tradition that had lost it's way- Good to have you back frothing tanket of Ale!)
  
• #22 Having Two Last Names (F you Hyphen lady- Do us a favor and Pick a fu^$kin name.
  
• #21 Writers Workshops (Isn't it odd that the one who is giving the workshop is probably not a very good writer- )
  
• #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture ( It's THE Culture, not MY Culture which I guess is what a lot of people can't grasp. It's a fiber continously being woven. We don't start new or throw out what has come before. We add some and use it to refine the existing fiber.)
  
• #19 Traveling (Seems like such a great idea in theory, much more difficult in execution actually. With great responsibility and family, come lack of travel. Take advantage while you are young and when you are old)
  
• #18 Awareness (Free punch in the face for those wandering through life unaware of anything going on around them)
  
• #17 Hating their Parents (Nope- I love my parents, great people)
  
• #16 Gifted Children ( You would think with so many "gifted children" they would be making a difference by now, but sadly I think being a "Gifted Child" is far easier and should not impress more than being a Gifted Adult. Gifted adults change the world, gifted children can handle Algebra a couple of years earlier)
  
• #15 Yoga ( Hey Boo Boo! Oh wait you want me to do what with my foot.. F that. Fine for you ladies though)
  
• #14 Having Black Friends ( Having friends of any kind would be something white people would be into I would think. I don't need to use their background as some kind of reflection on me. I trust their judgement, sense of fair play, drive and compassion as well as their taste in women as a good barometer. Skin color would be about the last consideration)
  
• #13 Tea (Woooooooo I'm pumped I've been drinking that Green Tea All DAAAAY.
  
• #12 Non-Profit Organizations (Just because they are not for Profit doesn't mean they don't make a lot of money. If Harvard were a public company they would be one of the five largest companies in teh world!
  
• #11 Asian Girls (Spicy Latinas over here Muy Caliente!)
  
• #10 Wes Anderson Movies ( Sorry, Wes Craven Movies)
  
• #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside ( I like it inside- It's nice, I can see outside and I can go out when I need to.Besides, It's 30 degrees or less for half the year F that
  
• #8 Barack Obama ( Filled with promises that people don't readily realize cannot be delivered. It would be like running for president of coke addicts and telling them an Eight ball a day and a hot hookers ass to sniff it off but in actuality there is no way to pay for it without cutting off their noses or that of their children)
  
• #7 Diversity ( We're the melting pot OK give it a rest. We're melting but there's going to be some lumpy portions)
  
• #6 Organic Food (No I insist on no insects, fungi, mold on my produce. Makes sense right. And I want steroids and Antibiotics and hormones in my meat. It keeps them from dying in their pens while they wallow in their own feces before they can get to the slaughterhouse. It's the American WAY! ) Grill it up Johnny
  
• #5 Farmer’s Markets (So you want to buy some corn from Skeezix over there with no teeth and a tractor from 1949- hmm give em a good wash first OK sport.)
  
• #4 Assists ( High five- That's how we build it- brick by brick- every score has an assist)
  
• #3 Film Festivals (Forget it- It's the one bone we throw to Utah I guess. Just release them to the theaters for 50% off and see what happens)
  
• #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to (Yeah whole bunch of cults now huh?)
  
• #1 Coffee (No can do- Pass- Least of all $4 a cup)