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Friday, January 23, 2009

Twenty Celebrities that have Aged Miserably

Al Pacino

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Corleone. Sperpico. Montana. And this crazy guy. Al Pacino has taken great pains to completely abandon his famous good looks and charm in favor of the “Creepy Unkle” look.

Val Kilmer

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Val Kilmer went from the bad ass “Iceman” in Top Gun, to lame ass in Batman Forever, and finally to lard ass in real life. It is hard to believe that these two pictures above are of the same person.

Jamie Lee Curtis

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Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis, let’s forget all the hermaphroditic urban myths about you for one second and just collectively admit that you were smoking hot in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Presently, We’d rather you not be photographed in your underwear.

Keith Richards

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Somehow Keith Richards is still alive. And, unbeknownst to Richards, he looks like an old tranny. But he still probably gets a lot of attention from groupies.

Mickey Rourke

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Mickey Rourke is the poster child of what happens when you not only age poorly, but you have had extensive plastic surgery. Bad plastic surgery that is, by a nearsighted doctor, in a back alley, a la Batman.

Farrah Fawcett

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Farrah Fawcett was at one time lauded as the most beautiful woman in show business. As the centerpiece of the most popular poster ever, and the star of Charlie’s Angels, Fawcett was the sex symbol of an era. She even looked good when she posed for Playboy in 1997 at the age of 50. Now she just looks a bit haggard.

Jack Nicholson

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Jack Nicholson is one of the most iconic actors of all time. His years of largess and partying have finally caught up to him, however, and he now he tucks his fupa into the elastic waistband of his board shorts.

Sharon Stone

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Sharon Stone’s famous leg-crossing scene is probably the most watched in the history of film. And for years following, Stone consistently topped lists of the most beautiful people in the world. Now she looks like she is on some prescription drugs that are not only making her look different, but act very strange as well. It’s probably Quaaludes.

David Lee Roth

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David Lee Roth epitomized hair metal and the art of the flamboyant front man. He also had the physique of a prepubescent girl, and the mane of a lion. This (above right) is him now.

Haley Joel Osmont

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When Haley Joel Osment became an movie star overnight with The Sixth Sense, most people thought he was adorable. But when, may I ask, is the last time we heard from, or about the strange-looking young man he has become.

Cybil Shepard

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Cybil Shepard was always a bit larger than most models during her era, but suffice to say, she was stunningly beautiful. Now she looks like Peggy from Human Resources that you try and avoid, and has that annoying laugh that everyone hates.

Elizabeth Taylor

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Elizabeth Taylor is one of the most famous actresses of all time, and one of the film industry’s fist internationally recognized superstars. Then she went nuts, got married eight times, and now looks like this.

Kathleen Turner

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With Kathleen Turner, where does one start. Pictures of her now do not even lend to the imagination that she was at one time beautiful. This is unless the picture is presented in a “then” and “now” type situation.

Brigitte Bardot

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Brigitte Bardot was one of the most beautiful women that ever lived. Now she is crazy, old and looks like she smells of cat urine.

Kelly LeBrock

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During her youth, Kelly LeBrock was one of the world’s most sought-after models, and most famously she was played the character Lisa in Weird Science. She has grown rather large in recent years. Interestingly, she was married for 10 years to Steven Seagal, who is also on this list.

Brigitte Nielson

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Brigitte Neilson is famous for her marriage to Sylvester Stallone, and her relationship to Public Enemy’s Flava Flav. Of, course she looked completely different during each relationship. Today, she looks and is, crazy.

Steven Seagal

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Steven Seagal is a washed up movie action hero actor, who somehow had a very successful career in Hollywood. Famous for his roles in movies like Under Seige and Under Seige 2, Seagal now travels the world, eating and playing blues music.

Janice Dickinson

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Janice Dickinson is widely regarded (by herself) as the world’s first supermodel, and has claimed to have had sex with over 1,000 men. She is also yet another example of too much plastic surgery and bad aging. Dickinson would probably attack the person who compiled this list if she knew who it was.

Nick Nolte

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Nick Nolte was the 1992 People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive. Years of hard-partying and alcohol, however have ran their course on the aging actor. He is also the most likely person from this list to be found passed out in an airport.

Kirstie Alley

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Alley has a recent history of making headlines for her dramatic weight fluctuations, and more often than not it, it is directly related to her overeating. She has also been the spokes person for Jenny Craig, and other weight loss programs. With that said, most people forget that at one point she was a relatively attractive woman.

Thanks to the guys over at Brainz for help in researching this article.

5 comments:

Anonymous September 8, 2009 at 10:44 PM  

We all get old, one minute at a time. Wrinkles are just God's makeup.

Unknown February 8, 2010 at 10:02 PM  

Kathleen Turner suffers from a medical condition. Her weight gain is cause by the medication's side effects. The same thing happened to Jerry Lewis.

Anonymous May 22, 2010 at 6:32 PM  

Contrary to the reports Stephen Seagal has been a law enforcement official for the last 20 years in Jefferson Parish.In 1999, Seagal was awarded a PETA Humanitarian Award.[22] In 2003, Seagal wrote an open letter to the leadership of Thailand, urging them to enact law to prevent the torture of baby elephants.
Hardly washed up eating and playing blues around the world.

yourahater May 30, 2010 at 10:33 PM  

F the person who put Farrah Faucett on this list. Have some respect for the dead!! Janice Dickenson is pretty FN hot for her age and all the plastic surgery. What do you thnk you will look like when your in your sixties? I bet all the people on the list are better looking than you will ever be! Bight Me!!!!

Unknown June 27, 2017 at 4:21 AM  

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