Pocketburgers.com: Jan 23, 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Joke of the Day

George Phillips of Meridian , Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said
"No".

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply
lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police
again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now
because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot
them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

I am Legend predicts Patriots win

People who watch movies way too closely noted that "I Am Legend" predicts the Patriots will beat the G-Men in the Super Bowl. Apparently early on in the film, which takes place in 2009, a TV is showing a news update about a cure for cancer, when across the bottom of the screen is a crawl that says "Giants lost to the Patriots for the second time this season, 23-7." When you consider that the way the NFL sets up their schedule, the only way the Pats and Gints could play twice would be if they met in the Super Bowl, and they're about to do so, their second game against each other in the eight weeks or so since "IAL" came out... that is borderline creepy.

Bigfoot on Mars? NASA captures alien figure

By Gary Cleland
Last Updated: 2:01pm GMT 23/01/2008

Is this the picture that proves that there is life on Mars? And the existence of Bigfoot?
Life on Mars?
The picture was taken in 2004 when enlarged reveals a mysterious figure

It certainly is - if you believe the current crop of rumours whizzing around cyberspace after the image was captured on the surface of the Red Planet.

The photograph, taken in 2004 by the Mars explorer Spirit, appears to show a human shaped object that looks startingly like previous photographs purporting to have captured Bigfoot.
# Richard Branson's race for space tourists
# Paper plane to be launched from space
# Star Trek-style ion engine to fuel Mercury craft

Unsurprisingly, conspiracy theorists have had a field day. One blogger wrote: “My first thought: It’s Bigfoot! If you show me another rock in another photo of Mars that naturally looks like that, I will reconsider. “Doesn’t look very much alive though.”
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Another added: “These pictures are amazing. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what appears to be a naked alien running around on Mars.”

And one more said: “It’s definitely Bigfoot. That’s why we’ve not been able to find him on Earth, he’s gone to Mars.”

However not everyone is convinced - one blogger despaired: “Ah, the human eye can be tricked so easily.”

Spirit, sent to Mars to capture images from the surface of the planet, is one half of a $820m (£410m) mission, along with its twin explorer, Opportunity.

It landed on Mars in January 2004 for a three month mission to search Gusev Crater, a rock strewn stretch of soil that scientists believe could be the bed of an ancient lake. If Mars once had surface water, it had the potential to support life.

Information appearing on telegraph.co.uk is the copyright of Telegraph Media Group Limited and must not be reproduced in any medium without licence. For the full copyright statement see Copyright

Video here:

Ultimate Cubicle Prank

super mario cupcakes 2

The MegaPenny Project

The MegaPenny Project
by kokogiak media

Visualizing huge numbers can be very difficult. People regularly talk about millions of miles, billions of bytes, or trillions of dollars, yet it's still hard to grasp just how much a "billion" really is. The MegaPenny Project aims to help by taking one small everyday item, the U.S. penny, and building on that to answer the question: "What would a billion (or a trillion) pennies look like?"

All the following pages have tables at the bottom, listing things such as the value of the pennies, size of the pile, weight, and area (if laid flat). All weights and measurements are U.S. standards, not metric.

It's best to step through the project from start to beginning, but if you'd like to just jump in, links are available below.

Enter the MegaPenny Project

Pages, in order:

• One penny
• Sixteen pennies
• One Thousand pennies
• Fifty Thousand pennies
• One Hundred Thousand pennies
• One Million pennies
• Ten Million pennies
• One Hundred Million pennies
• One Billion pennies
• Ten Billion pennies
• One Hundred Billion pennies
• Pennies Currently in circulation
• One Trillion pennies
• One Trillion (part II)
• Empire State Building
• Sears Tower
• One Quadrillion pennies
• One Quintillion pennies
• Index, Table and Links
• MegaMoo - a special bonus section

5 Tips on leasing a car

Five Myths on Leasing a Car

You can negotiate a smart car lease: here's how.

By Mark Solheim

February 2008

Leasing often gets a bad rap, and no wonder: Its confusing argot sounds like fodder for a course in high finance, and dealers have been known to slip bad deals past confused car buyers who simply wanted low monthly payments.

About 20% of new-car transactions are leases, but I'm convinced that more people should be leasing. As interest rates rose, carmakers shifted incentives from rebates and low-interest financing to leases. If you know what you're looking for and negotiate smart -- and get over the five myths below -- leasing can be a good deal.

1. Buying is cheaper than leasing. If you keep a car well past the day the loan is paid off (or you paid cash to begin with), you save money by buying. But if you trade in your car before the loan is paid off, the value of the trade-in is unlikely to cover the remaining balance on the loan.

For example, if you leased a new Chevrolet Malibu LTZ for three years, your monthly payments would be $489. When you turned in the car at the end of the lease, you'd pay a "turn-in" fee of $395 and then walk away. If, however, you bought the Malibu with a five-year loan at 7.9%, your monthly payments would be $546, and after five years you'd own the car free and clear.

But say you want another car after three years. To match the residual value written into a three-year lease, you'd probably have to sell the Malibu on your own rather than trade it in. Then you'd have to pay off the loan. Buying would leave you about $1,600 poorer.

2. It's nearly impossible to negotiate a good buy. However, leases are negotiable. But first you need a tour of the jargon:

Capitalized cost.The vehicle price is called the capitalized cost. You should haggle over this just as hard as you would haggle over the price if you were buying.

Money factor. Another crucial term is the money factor. The lower this number, the better (multiply it by 2,400 to get an estimate of the interest rate). Dealers are sometimes reluctant to reveal the money factor, so be persistent.

Residual value. Finally, the residual value is the value of the car or truck at the end of the lease.

An inflated residual value lowers your monthly payments, but it can also hand-cuff you.

A more realistic residual value will make it easier to sell the lease, trade your vehicle mid lease or buy the vehicle at the end of the lease, says Tarry Shebesta, president of Automobile Consumer Services, a leasing service in Cincinnati.

Ask the dealer to show you deals from several banks, focusing on the money factor and the residual value. You can also go to LeaseCompare.com to comparison shop and apply for a lease. Or check out LeaseWise. For $335, the service will shop five dealers in your area.

3. Only businesses get a tax break. Tax laws allow businesses to deduct the monthly payments as an expense.

But individuals get a tax break, too. In most states, you pay sales tax only on the monthly payments, not the sale price of the vehicle. In the Malibu example above, you'd owe taxes on about $18,000 in payments rather than the $27,000 sale price. (Arkansas, Maryland, Minnesota, Texas and Virginia charge sales tax on the entire sale price.)

4. You may have to pay hefty fees when you turn in the car. The typical annual allotment of 10,000 to 12,000 miles is stingy, and the 18- to 21-cent-per-mile penalty for exceeding the limit seems daunting. But if you buy a car, you're also penalized for higher-than-average mileage when you trade it in.

You can probably negotiate a higher limit in exchange for a higher monthly payment and still save money.

5.If you want out early, you're stuck. Several Web sites match people who want to get out of a lease early with those who want to assume a short-term lease. At Lease-Trader.com you pay a fee of $80 to post your vehicle and $150 to complete the transfer of the lease.

Heath Ledger is Dead

Posted Jan 22nd 2008 4:40PM by TMZ Staff

TMZ has learned that 2006 Academy Award nominee Heath Ledger has died in NY.

He was found dead in his bed in one of his residences in Soho by his housekeeper at 3:35 PM ET today. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ they believe it was not a crime, adding that prescription pills were found near his body.

According to NYPD a masseuse arrived at Ledger's apartment and was let in by a housekeeper. When Ledger didn't answer his bedroom door, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened it and found him unconscious. They attempted to wake him; when they couldn't, they called 911.

We're told when paramedics responded, the actor was in full cardiac arrest. They attempted to perform CPR on him, but were unsuccessful. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

The 28-year-old actor has a two year old daughter with former fiancee Michelle Williams -- they separated in September, 2007. He plays The Joker in the upcoming Batman film, "The Dark Knight" and is perhaps best known for his groundbreaking role as Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain."

We're told Heath had dinner last night with his model girlfriend Gemma Ward.

Story developing...

Ledger's Death Doesn't Look Like Suicide

Posted Jan 23rd 2008 9:07AM by TMZ Staff

Multiple sources in the NYPD tell TMZ, although it's too early to know, it's looking like Heath Ledger's death was accidental and not suicide.

There have been numerous reports suggesting that Ledger took his own life by ingesting a boatload of pills. Contrary to initial reports, the pills that were "scattered" around Ledger's apartment were actually in containers. We're told the containers were not littering the apartment. Rather, some were in the medicine cabinet and some in other rooms. As we reported, one container was on Ledger's nightstand. Cops found sleeping pills and an anti-anxiety drug in the bedroom.

A rep for the family tells TMZ that detectives have been in touch with Ledger's next of kin and the cops told them that so far there is no evidence suggesting suicide. Of course, until the toxicology reports come in, no one knows for sure.

A well-connected source in the NYPD told us this morning the "operating theory" right now within the department is that it was an accidental death, not suicide.

It's unclear if Ledger's health was a factor. As we first reported, he had pneumonia at the time of his death.

Outdoors

'These are believed to be amongst the last images of Heath Ledger alive'

Uploaded on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:42:33 EST